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“I want to do this,” she says quietly. “I’ve been planning it for months.

” She holds her wounded arm up to the camera.

“I freaking practiced for it. But that’s because I thought my death might inspire people to fight for their lives.

And somehow, instead, it feels like I might inspire more people to die.

” She leans forward, and her voice is urgent, the hollow feeling in her belly beginning to fill up for the first time since Claire died.

Rhaina is hurting. Rhaina, whom she’d never given a second thought to, unless it was to make a French horn joke.

Rhaina was walking around with all the pain, and all the devastation that Emma herself had—but she was better at hiding it, better at keeping her head down and her mouth shut.

Better at pretending everything was just fine … just like Claire.

Emma’s breath catches in her throat as she remembers that Rhaina has a little sister.

She saw her at freshman orientation, following in Rhaina’s path, watching as her older sister pointed out buildings, told her the best places to grab lunch or get a coffee.

If Rhaina follows Emma’s lead, her little sister will be left holding this feeling, the one that Emma’s trying to escape.

And the kid who is going to catch the bus.

And the one with the toaster next to the bathtub.

And their siblings and parents and families and friends will all be left with his horrible, lonely question, Why? And even worse, What could I have done differently?

Emma’s message will catch, she’ll go viral in more ways than one.

She’s not going to inspire people to save the planet or change the course of the human race.

She’s going to encourage them to die, to spread misery and self-doubt.

Emma thinks about Rhaina, how Emma screamed at her about climate change, tearing through the alphabet, rambling about what she thought was important—and completely missing the person right in front of her.

A person who needed help. A person who has a little sister, a family.

A person whose loss would hurt the world so much more than she knows.

All along, Emma’s been missing the big picture; she was trying to save the world, and not helping the people right in front of her.

She snaps to attention, eyes refocusing.

“Listen to me, please. This is so important. We can’t give up.

We may feel hopeless, but we aren’t helpless.

It’s not over yet. Let’s decide to take charge.

Let’s decide to make a change. For my sister.

For us. For the whole entire world. One person can make a change, one person does make a difference.

And that person is you. Watch out for each other.

Pay attention. Take care of each other. Ask someone if they’re okay. ”

She lets silence fall for a moment. She snaps the lid down on the lighter, then looks directly at the camera.

“Rhaina, don’t do it,” she says.

Then she reaches out and taps FINISH with her fingertip.

She bows her head. It’s over. She failed.

Slowly she stands up. She pulls the desks away from the door, which immediately swings open, revealing Thomas, Jade, Celia, and Hastings.

Thomas’s arms are around her before she even has time to react. Hastings brushes past her to grab her lighter from the floor, where she dropped it. “We need to get you to a hospital,” he says.

“You don’t,” she says. “I’m fine. I’m really, truly okay. I’m not a danger to myself, or to anyone else. I mean that. I was … I was wrong. I shouldn’t have made those threats. I didn’t realize what they would do to other people.”

Hastings, whose hair is sticking up all over and whose shirt looks like it has been wadded up in a corner, stares hard at Emma’s face, searching for signs of deception. She stares right back. She can see worry, still etched into his brow. And a glimmer of hope in his watery blue eyes.

“You need to find Rhaina,” she says urgently. “Rhaina Johnson, I think she lives in Briar. She’s not okay.”

Hastings nods, pulls out his phone.

“And Olivia, my roommate,” Emma says, words flowing more easily now. “She’s not okay either. She’s got an OnlyFans, she’s trying to help pay for tuition. Maybe you could find a scholarship so she doesn’t feel like she has to—”

“Dear Lord,” Hastings says, his hand coming up to his forehead.

“Okay, thank you, Emma. Thank you for looking out for others. Wozniak and Jones are on the way to Rhaina’s room right now.

Olivia we can deal with later, but right now, you are my biggest concern, and my most important responsibility—and we need to get you to a hospital. ”

She steps away from Thomas’s embrace. “I understand,” she says, nodding. She knows all about responsibilities, about what it’s like to have everyone looking at you to make things right.

She turns to Jade, whose face is pale and tear-streaked.

“I thought you were really going to do it,” Jade says. “God, Emma, I was so scared.”

“Me too,” Emma says quietly. Then she turns to the small crowd. “Thank you. Really … I just…” But her words are gone now, and she’s just left looking at their faces, and being thankful for each and every one of them.

“You don’t have to talk,” Celia says, reaching out for her hand. Her nose wrinkles. “But you do totally need a shower.”