Page 19

Ha-joon

“Yes, that would be painful for them,” Dr. Tai accepted.

I winced. That hadn’t been what I’d meant, and this next part might not go over great. “Well, yes, but I meant me.” I nodded when people froze. “I’m not sure I can explain it—I haven’t been able to so far but—”

“The pain of knowing you could have helped them sooner so they didn’t need to suffer is almost crippling,” a woman said and immediately I knew who it was.

My gaze snapped to Ellie’s and I slowly nodded. “Yes. My wolf is a protector and—shifters in pain in front of him is hard. Especially young shifters because we both hate the old mindset. Several of them even.”

I relaxed when the whole room was in full agreement and clearly cared about the state of medicine.

I leaned on the podium and focused on Dr. Tai.

“If you can come up with something that is an eighth in potency of what we currently use to start, I would absolutely be willing to work with you on this. I’m always open to consultations and insights.

That’s how we do this better and save the next kid or even… ”

I let out a slow breath, not sure how to continue.

“You said you were rusty with large-scale trauma,” Dr. James surmised. “The earthquake and bridge weren’t your normal wheelhouse.”

“No, they weren’t, not for many years, and it still wasn’t like that,” I admitted.

“This was so much better. This was— efficient doesn’t even come close to where my mind is.

ASH has efficiency down to a science unlike any hospital I’ve ever seen, and that’s something that needs to spread.

” I waved off others when they wanted to interject. “That’s not the point of today.

“The point of today is education and learning what we already know and people bastardize too much.” I pointed to the screen that had shown the videos.

“ That is the point of the Alpha power to force a shift.

It is to save lives and heal pack when traumatized.

What you all know is the bastardized version of this punishment crazy and doing more harm than good.

“The main problem is that’s all too many know because too many psychos found a weapon in this power and that’s what it became.

To save lives—especially children—I need people to learn what I’ve taught you and I need the professionals in this room to understand that and help me—help them.

” I let out another slow breath. “Shifters have the highest suicide rate.”

“Especially in Asia where they push too hard the idea that anything they do—any little slip is a shame on their family and shifter group,” Dr. James interjected.

“Yes, Dr. Greer and I have lectured several times together on the importance of mental health advocates in a group’s leadership to intercede and stop letting our people die because they were shamed. ”

I nodded. “And one of the biggest reasons people are shamed from the old mindset that needs to die is having a rough first shift.” I let out another slow breath and decided to trust the people there in a way I hadn’t other colleagues. This was why I wanted to be at ASH.

It was time to show I was worth the trouble it took to get me there.

“I had an incredibly rough first shift,” I said evenly.

“I had one of the worst first shifts my family had ever seen—even my grandfather, the previous Alpha of London who was in charge for over a hundred years.” I glanced around and stared down most of the shifters with egos.

“Had I done what too many still preach and my family not been so evolved—”

“Our world would have suffered,” Dr. Carpenter said firmly, people giving him shocked looks.

“You are a gifted doctor, and I’ve talked with Dr. James about your research and more.

I’m thrilled you’re blowing the lid off of this at ASH.

This was why ASH was built.” Sadness was in his eyes.

“Glad you were born to such good people, Ha-joon. Truly.”

I smiled at him, his earlier crap forgotten even by my wolf. “Me too, sir.” I focused on the rest of the room. “Now, how many of you have figured out something important?”

“A bad first shift can be a sign of a strong shifter or possible Alpha that most wouldn’t have expected,” Gerald Woods of all people replied.

I met his gaze head-on. “Yes, I’ve found it to be about 50/50. Either it’s some form of neglect, malnutrition—being unprepared for what was coming. Or it’s an indicator that the shifter will be more powerful than a preteen’s body can handle.”

“Trauma. You’re forgetting trauma,” he corrected.

“No, I put that in a different category,” I clarified.

“But good to bring up, thank you. I’m speaking on non-trauma-related cases that I’ve seen.

” I gestured back to the screen. “Of the four you saw, one was trauma, two were the issues I listed, but that first one was an incredibly powerful female hawk that didn’t understand not to hurt her person when she was finally free.

“But because her first shift was difficult and shifters are more sexist than we like to admit—no one can convince me otherwise—she was shamed . And we all know how easily that snowballs. We’re doctors.

We see it all the time. A child is told they’re stupid and worthless and they stop trying.

They fail again and again without support.

“Yes, there are the rare ones who push through and prove them all wrong, but that is the exception to the norm, not the outcome most lie to themselves that was supposed to happen. It’s lazy parenting and leadership.

Even if the child excels, they fail in so many other areas because they were not molded well. It takes a pack to raise a pup.”

I realized how personal I was getting there and cleared my throat, moving on and continuing with the Q&A.

A witch asked something over the line, but it was clear she was struggling with the information and how to process it. Some of what I discussed was well-defined to shifters, but—I wouldn’t understand magic to a level she did either.

I warned them that this was not to be shared outside of the room or even ASH because too many would think I was a threat to Alphas in America, especially Atlanta. And that was the last thing I wanted.

The amused looks too many gave me like I was full of myself or just full of shit made me want to sigh… Until I let them feel most of my Alpha aura.

And I didn’t even let it all out. I hid maybe forty percent? Maybe more. It wasn’t like a speedometer after all.

“There was more, right?” Dr. James asked me after the lecture. He laughed when I gave him my most innocent face.

Dr. Carpenter clapped me on the back. “Well done. Probably the best lecture a new attending here has ever given. Fascinating insights and especially for those of us who aren’t shifters. We’ve already changed the crisis protocols. You being here has kept our people safe which is great.”

Oh, and he sent his apology to my wolf later even if I’d told him not to.

A whole fucking cow.

Yeah, seriously. The git sent me a whole butchered cow from a local organic farmer. I had the invoice paid for in my email and I just had to schedule a time to pick it up.

At least he apologized well.

The next weird was Dr. Greer sending me links to Instagram models with some serious thirst traps… Who were all men. I kept responding with confused emojis or playful GIFs basically asking her WTF?

Finally, she sent me one back with a “hint, hint, idiot.”

I didn’t understand. I called Mum instead and told her about the cow, asking if they had anything coming up where they could use some cuts for prime rib or whatever.

She mostly wanted the bones for broth. Apparently, there had been some issues in the UK with… I didn’t understand it all, but getting the right bones to make soups and bases had been harder to track down at the moment.

Which was how I got on the phone with the farm and asked if I could add to my order and buy a ton of the bones since they had options to buy butchered meat as well. They were glad for me to take them off their hands and Mum promised to handle them well and for the pack.

It left me feeling warm and fuzzy. I’d wanted to be a doctor to help people and that wasn’t always limited to medicine.

I finally put it together when Dr. Greer messaged me after work asking if I got any good inspiration or if I wanted advice on which shots to send.

“Oh, I am a slow duffer,” I mumbled as the pieces fell into place. “She’s trying to help us.”

Then I had to admit that I had no idea where to start to take a thirst trap or even pictures like that. I wasn’t someone who even took selfies.

Her advice was simple—don’t take selfies, take pictures for Ellie.

I could do that, right?

Apparently, I could given the results.

I took a shower and set up my phone to take a few shots of me in nothing but a towel, water dripping all down me. Then I took a few on the bed with the towel half off. I wasn’t a cad, but… I was hard for her and that was obvious.

Not pornish though.

“I’m going to hell,” I mumbled as I picked the best of each and sent them with a message that I was thinking about her and the cold shower hadn’t helped. “Oh, I need a sandwich to handle all the cheese.”

Except it worked. I threw on shorts and went to put something together from dinner. I froze when I heard the code to my door being put in. I ducked my head around the fridge door just in time to see her storming into my kitchen.

But she didn’t seem mad.

“Really? Like— really? ” she demanded as she waved her phone at me. “I can’t. I just can’t anymore. You’re too—you’re just too—” she waved towards my body as if that was the answer.

Maybe?

“I don’t know if I’m in trouble or—tell me what to do,” I muttered.

Heat filled her eyes. “Me. Do me , Ha-joon.”

Yes, ma’am!

I closed the fridge and slid my arm around her. She got the idea and jumped as I lifted her up and wrapped her around me as I attacked her lush lips. “You’re sure?”