Page 28 of Elizabeth’s Self-Discovery
B y the time Elizabeth rejoined her aunt in the sitting room, her eyes were no longer puffy and, at the very least—for the moment, her equanimity had been restored.
“While you were asleep a note came from your uncle, he will be home within the hour, and he apologised again for not being here to greet you when you arrived,” Madeline informed her niece.
“Uncle Edward has nothing for which to seek my forgiveness. I am very much in your debt that you were willing to employ some subterfuge so I could get away from Longbourn at this time.” Elizabeth named the estate, but she knew, as did her aunt, she meant her father. “Aunt, I know you would never dissemble about being with child, but if memory serves, you have not in the past suffered from sickness in the morning with the previous times you were enceinte . May I assume you are not suffering this time either?”
“You have the right of it, Lizzy. So far, Praise be, I have not had any sickness. We were, as Edward wrote in his letter, genuinely surprised when I felt the quickening. I always had irregular courses, so I thought that is why I had missed three of them. I am beyond pleased.”
“As you have two of each sex, do you have a preference regarding what this child will be?”
“No, none at all. All we want is a healthy babe; the sex will be what it will be.”
“And, of course that you will be healthy as well, Aunt Maddie.” Elizabeth cogitated for a few moments. “Have my cousins been made aware you are to gift them another brother or sister?”
“Yes. We shared the glad tidings with them last week. Lilly and May want a sister, while naturally, Eddy and Peter are requesting a brother. I am sure now that Lilly is beginning the journey of transition between girlhood and womanhood, she will be a great help with this one, regardless of the sex.” Madeline patted the unseen slight swell in her belly.
Just then the cacophony which announced the four Gardiner children approaching the sitting room was heard. Eddy was first through the door. “Lizzy, Nurse and Mrs Jamison are taking us to the park, will you come with us?”
“Please Lizzy?” the two youngest Gardiners chorused.
Lilly nodded her head in agreement. “We can walk around the pond while the children play,” Lilly suggested.
“You do not need me here, do you Aunt Maddie?” Elizabeth verified.
“I do not,” Madeline confirmed. “Go Lizzy, some fresh air will be good for you. We will speak later.”
Elizabeth nodded. “In that case, I need to retrieve my half boots. I will be but a few minutes. In the meanwhile, your nurse and governess can assist you into your outerwear. It is a nice day, but a cold one.”
Soon enough, Elizabeth met her cousins and their minders, who had been joined by a burly footman, in the entrance hall and off they went.
Observing the unbridled joy of the three youngest Gardiners while she and Lilly followed the path around the frozen pond, Elizabeth felt invigorated being in her cousins’ company for some time together at the park. There was much to speak of with her aunt and uncle, and even more to discover for herself, but this was a good start .
She wondered what it meant as she felt a sense of relief being separated from her father. When she thought about that, Mama’s words about the difference between parent and child, and Aunt Maddie’s regarding the way her father had influenced her character as it had been, came back to her. She hoped she would not end up resenting her father, but she was aware it was a possibility it could end up being so.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
“How is our Lizzy?” Gardiner asked after he had greeted his wife as a man who loved his wife deeply was wont to do.
Madeline related what had occurred during their brief time together not long after Lizzy’s arrival. She also told how they had not addressed anything else as their niece desired to do so with both Gardiners present. “I am afraid there will be pain along the way as Lizzy decides which parts of her character should be discarded and which to retain, but she will be much better for it when she emerges on the other side.”
“I always knew you were very wise, Maddie,” Gardiner stated as he took his wife’s hand in his own. “Where is our niece now?”
“With the children, Nurse, Mrs Jamison, and Sam in the park opposite. You know Lizzy. Fresh air always revives her spirits,” Madeline averred. “Do you think we should take Lizzy to Drury Lane to see The Tempest . You know how much she enjoys the bard’s comedies.”
“That is a capital idea, as long as Lizzy is in the mood for some light-hearted entertainment,” Gardiner agreed.
“We should ask her opinion later,” Madeline suggested. “How was your meeting?”
Gardiner shared the pertinent details with his wife. Unlike the vast majority of married couples, they had a true partnership and enjoyed a love match. “You remember I have mentioned I have been working with the de Bourgh fortune for some years now, do you not? ”
“I do,” Madeline confirmed.
“Lord Matlock sent a note telling me that his niece, Miss de Bourgh, who has just inherited all, will come with him to meet me in about a sennight. He also opined she would want to employ me to sell off some rather, in his words, ‘gaudy and ostentatious’ items. I came to know Sir Lewis de Bourgh about two years before he passed away. He was a good man.”
“Did not his widow send you letters demanding you release all or part of the funds to her?”
“Yes, she did.” Gardiner grinned. “Lord Matlock made it abundantly clear Lady Catherine had no authority to demand anything from the estate. She was not very happy, but the Earl did convince her to desist.”
A short time later, their children were heard before they were seen. All four, even Lilly who tried to mute her greeting, were well pleased their papa was home. At dinner the two eldest children joined their parents and cousin, while Peter and May ate in the nursery.
As promised, Elizabeth told two stories once the three in the nursery were in their night attire and in their beds. No one commented that Lilly, in her warm dressing gown sat on her old bed so she too would hear Lizzy’s stories. It was no surprise the younger three Gardiner children tried to negotiate for a third story.
She loved her young cousins very well, but Elizabeth knew if she gave in it would be to defer the conversation she was about to have with her aunt and uncle. Also, the children had to learn once a bargain was made, they could not go back on the agreement. She kissed the youngest three goodnight on their foreheads, and then Elizabeth made the short walk with Lilly to her bedchamber. After she wished her oldest cousin a good night, she was replaced by her aunt and uncle who had just come from the nursery.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~ ~
Gardiner pulled the door closed to the private sitting room which was attached to the bedchamber he shared with his wife. “Maddie told me of your conversation, brief as it was, from when you arrived. Tell us of what we are not aware.” Gardiner took a seat next to his wife, while Elizabeth seated herself in a wingback chair which faced her aunt and uncle on the settee.
“It all began with the Michaelmas assembly…” she related all, including the fact she was now aware Mr Darcy had desired to apologise to her the same night, and she had refused to allow him. Elizabeth did not spare details of how, more and more, Jane was trying to temper her behaviour towards their mother, and how she ignored, what she now admitted, was her sister’s wise counsel. The stay at Netherfield Park was covered as was her impolite behaviour towards Mr Darcy, encouraged by her father. She did not gloss over the fact she was wilfully blind to Mr Darcy’s good traits, of which there were many to see.
Her aunt rang for some tea, to give her niece a break from speaking and have her voice recover at the same time, before cook and the servants working in the kitchen retired for the night.
Next, Elizabeth spoke of Miss Bingley and her insanity, their return to Longbourn, and when her father gave her mother one hour notice of their cousin’s arrival, a scurrilous act which began to open her eyes to the fact it was not sport but cruelty her father was practising. Much to her shame, she told of the militia’s coming, what she had observed between Mr Darcy and the then Lieutenant Wickham, and how she had twisted it to suit her own prejudices. She related a synopsis of the man’s lies told to her at Aunt Hattie’s house, and her refusal to see the obvious or recognise the impropriety of a new acquaintance sharing the personal information he had shared with her.
The warnings Jane and Charlotte issued about drawing conclusions from one side of the tale was recounted by Elizabeth, and her shame at ignoring any counsel other than her own.
“Before I tell you the next part, you must swear never to repeat the information to anyone, as it would hurt Miss Darcy, a young lady who has become dear to me,” Elizabeth requested.
“Come now Lizzy, you know your uncle and I would never retell any of this without your expressed permission,” Madeline assured her niece.
As much as it mortified her to have her bad judgment brought into stark relief, Elizabeth told of the walk with Jane and Charlotte to the summit of Oakham Mount, and what they saw and heard. She told of the actions afterward, up to and including the arrest of the two Lieutenants. Elizabeth also related how her relationship with her mother was improving while the opposite was occurring with her father. Her shame at her realisation that her mother had always been aware of her treatment by her husband and second daughter, was admitted too.
“And my brother Bennet would not lift a finger to protect Lydia, and by extension the rest of you, including you, his so-called favourite?” Gardiner barked. Elizabeth shook her head sadly. “Thanks to on High you had the good sense to have your father sign that page.”
“What hurts the most is, as of today, my father still tells himself there was no danger to Lyddie or the rest of us. It is his way of justifying not taking action, just as he did nothing when I told him of the way I was slighted at the assembly.” Elizabeth paused to gather her thoughts. “I think that was the first time I began to doubt my father’s love for me. I see now his encouragement for me to avoid speaking to Mr Darcy, was only to further his amusement, and had nothing to do with what was best for me.”
“Like your aunt told you earlier, there was much we wanted to say to you, but until you were ready to hear the words, there was no reason to attempt to do so,” Gardiner told his niece who only nodded in agreement. “Not only is your father indolent, but he is the epitome of selfishness. If he had taken the trouble and invested my sister’s dowry with me, and even added a few hundred pounds per annum, your sisters and you would have very respectable dowries. It would have taken him away from his books and port, so he ignored my repeated requests. Eventually I gave up. Thankfully one in the house heard what I was saying.” Gardiner grinned at his niece indulgently.
“To hear him tell it, there was nothing which could have been done,” Elizabeth stated bitterly. “I should have known better! For myself, I did know better, as evidenced by my investing with you, but I never looked at my father’s failures with a critical eye. Why, oh why, did I not listen to Janey?”
“Remember what I told you earlier,” Madeline told Elizabeth. “Did you make bad decisions? Yes, you did. That being said, it was all you knew. Look at what you did when your sisters needed protecting. You rose above the years of manipulation and indoctrination by your father and did what needed to be done. Do you still have many questions to answer? Yes. Will you need to confront your father with all of this at some point? Also yes, but not before you are ready to do so. You must know we will be squarely behind you when you are prepared to take that step.”
“Your Aunt Hattie is as she is, but your mother is quite intelligent, and you have the right of it when you surmised her so-called nerves were a way to protect herself,” Gardiner revealed. “Should Fanny have taken her frustrations out on her daughters, most especially yourself, and to a lesser extent, Mary? No. She knows that and I am sure she feels vastly guilty for doing so. Can you imagine living in a house where you are humiliated on an almost daily basis?”
“I would not do very well,” Elizabeth owned .
“That is an understatement,” Gardiner reposted. “Her vitriol should have never been aimed at you, or to a lesser extent Mary, but what was, cannot be changed, can it?” Elizabeth shook her head. “Now that your eyes are open, as are my sisters’, you can move forward together while repairing, and then strengthening, the relationship between you.”
“There is much on which I need to think, is there not?” Elizabeth asked but did not need a reply as she knew what needed to be done. “I hope before Janey arrives to shop for her trousseau that I will have answered many of the questions I need to.”
With that segue, the Gardiners asked about Mr Bingley, a subject upon which Elizabeth was happy to expound. A little rest from thinking of the path she needed to travel was very welcome.
“A production of The Tempest will begin at the Drury Lane on Monday next, when you are ready for it, would you like me to acquire seats for us one evening?” Gardiner enquired.
“Could we wait until Janey is here and ask her? It is one of her favourites of the Bard’s plays,” Elizabeth averred.
It was agreed. Soon thereafter, Elizabeth made her way to her chamber.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
The next day an express in a hand he did not recognise from a Lord Reginald Fitzwilliam arrived for Bennet. He was tempted to throw it into the pile of incoming correspondence when his inquisitiveness got the better of him. He broke the seal and began to read.
18 November 1812
Rosings Park
Mr Bennet,
Please excuse the freedom of my writing to you when we know not one another and have no connection. I am Lord Reginald Fitzwilliam, the Earl of Matlock, and Miss Anne de Bourgh is my niece and owner of the above mentioned estate.
It is my sad duty to inform you that your cousin, William Collins, passed away earlier today. Please notify us if you want the body conveyed to your estate, or if there are any instructions you wish to pass on. My courier will wait at your estate and bring any reply you need to send back to me.
You have our sympathies,
Lord Matlock
The note was succinct. Bennet cared not what had happened to his cousin, he only wanted to know how it affected him. He wrote two notes, a short one telling the Earl to bury the body as he saw fit as the relationship to himself was very distant. The second was to Phillips asking what it meant to the entail.
The first Hill handed to the waiting courier, the second was conveyed to Mr Phillips by Longbourn’s groom.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Phillips arrived about an hour later. He was shown into his indolent brother’s study—any respect he had had for Bennet had been lost due to his refusal to protect his family—and sat down in front of the desk.
“Well, do I own Longbourn now, or is there another simpleton like Collins who stands to inherit?” Bennet enquired.
“There is no other after the late Mr Collins.” Phillips did not miss the look of glee on Bennet’s countenance. “However, you are not the owner, you are still a lifetime tenant.” He raised his hand to stop the protest Bennet was about to make. “The way this entail was written, the eldest of your future grandsons willing to take the name Bennet, will be the owner of the estate when he reaches his majority. After your passing, his parents would administer Longbourn for him. ”
Bennet scowled. This left the financial restrictions in place and stopped him selling all or any of Longbourn. He did not intend to tell his wife and daughters; they could discover the news once he passed away. Let his wife live with the thought of being tossed out of the house into the hedgerows.
Phillips took his leave, but as Bennet had not told him not to, he informed his sister-in-law of the changes. “If my husband passes and there is no grandson yet?” She asked as soon as she digested the news.
“Nothing will change for you. The estate will be held in trust until one of your daughters’ sons reaches his majority,” Phillips explained.
To say Bennet was missish when at dinner he discovered his wife and daughters knew about the future disposition of the estate already, was an understatement. He left the table and told Hill to bring him a tray in his study.