Page 19 of Elizabeth’s Self-Discovery
A s Mary had not spoken to her sisters before seating herself at the table to break her fast, Elizabeth could not understand why Cousin Collins, who never seemed to miss a meal, was absent. She looked from one parent to the other, and for some reason both looked dissatisfied, especially her mother. Jane and Mary looked as they ever did, but Kitty and Lydia seemed to be giggling more than usual.
“Are we to wait for our cousin before we eat?” Elizabeth enquired.
“My cousin has cut his visit short,” Bennet averred peevishly.
“Because Mary refused him,” Fanny added. There was so much more she wanted to say, but hanging on by a thread, she managed to hold her peace. Instead, she sniffed and shot a disapproving look at her middle daughter, but did not say a word.
It was neither the time nor the place, but Elizabeth was sure there was a story there. She would wait until after the meal to interrogate Mary. The news explained why Mama was peeved, but why was Papa piqued? Surely her father did not prefer that Mr Collins remain for his own personal amusement while, she guessed, it would have made Mary decidedly uncomfortable. Was his amusement so much more important than the feelings and wellbeing of his daughters? What about the way he treated his wife, and had taught herself to tease her mother? What of his refusal to check the youngest two Bennets before they were ruined, which would involve their sisters in their ruin?
The questions she asked herself were uncomfortable ones. She also owned there was much more to discover, and it would not be easy. Elizabeth was aware the time to defer cogitating on the family dynamics, and her role in them, was well passed.
Thanks to Elizabeth being deep in thought, and her parents’ bad moods, other than the noise Kitty and Lydia generated, the morning meal was one of the calmest any of them could remember. Due to the fact the latter two had not a thought in their heads about anything other than their own gratification, they did not notice the sombre mood in the dining parlour.
Jane understood why her parents were in their own worlds, but she could not understand why Lizzy, who was not built for sadness, was so quiet and seemed to be deep in thought. She was sure Lizzy would speak to her before they went to sleep that night, if not before.
For her part, Mary was gratified that it seemed—at least so far—her mother had kept to her resolution not to harangue her for her refusal, of what she believed was the worst proposal in the history of proposals. Why Lizzy seemed so far away, Mary could not fathom. Based on their conversation when they had discussed whether she would have been open to knowing Mr Collins, with an eye to being courted by him, Mary was certain Lizzy’s mood had nought to do with her refusal of their cousin’s proposal. It was not like Lizzy to be so quiet, but Mary was sure if, or when, her next older sister chose to share what was causing her quietude, she would do so.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
A little after the meal, Lieutenants Denny and Wickham came to call. It was earlier than calls were usually made, but Mr Wickham explained they wanted to see their friends before they had to be on duty. The two greeted the ladies, who were seated in the drawing room, warmly. Once again, after greeting Miss Elizabeth, Mr Wickham concentrated on the two youngest Bennets.
“Miss Lydia and Miss Kitty, as it is not too cold today, would you take a turn around the park with Denny and me?” Wickham suggested charmingly, smiling widely at Miss Lydia.
“We would love to take a turn with you fine men,” Lydia averred as she batted her eyelashes at Mr Wickham.
Lydia had responded before Kitty could, although the latter knew even had she not wanted to walk outside with the two officers, Lydia would have cajoled her until she changed her mind. With Lydia’s forceful character, most of the time, Kitty was unable to stand against her and it counted nothing if she voiced her opinion.
After donning their warm outerwear, the two youngest Bennets were escorted into the park by the lieutenants. Lydia, much to her pleasure, was on Mr Wickham’s arm while Kitty walked with Mr Denny. By prior arrangement, the latter led Kitty away from the other couple who were headed for the wilderness. Even though the foliage was long fallen, it still offered some blocking of the view from the house, or even to anyone else walking in the park.
Wickham led the lightskirt—he was sure it would be easy to lift her skirt—to the corner of the wilderness away from any prying eyes in the house. Denny was working to convince Miss Kitty to surrender her virtue. Wickham cared not that they each took one first, that way no one won, but no one lost the wager. Ten pounds would be nice to have, but he knew he needed to allow Denny to succeed as well, so he would keep following where Wickham led, without question.
He had considered attempting to have Miss Elizabeth lift her skirt for him, but much to Wickham’s chagrin, not a word of the tale of woe he had spun for her had been repeated to anyone. This had led to the coldness towards the woman. He had been so sure Miss Elizabeth would spread what he told her far and wide, but her failure to do what he had wanted, was one of the reasons Wickham had decided to ruin the Bennet chits as soon as possible.
“Miss Lydia, or may I call you Lydia?” Wickham asked as he pulled her to him seductively.
As she was sure the handsome man was about to kiss her, something to which she had no objection, it caused a warm feeling in a certain area that all Lydia could do was nod her head.
“Lydia, you must know that from the first time I saw you I knew I had found the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. Do you perchance, feel that way about me?” Wickham asked close to Lydia’s ear. Feeling his warm breath caressing her earlobe almost made her weak at the knees.
“Yes, Wicky, I love you,” Lydia managed to aver.
He forced himself to school his features. Wickham hated that particular shortening of his name as it had always been used to mock him, especially by that damned Richard Fitzwilliam. It would not do to show Lydia his anger when he was so close to achieving his aim of taking her maidenhood.
“My darling girl, you know not how much that pleases me to hear,” Wickham dissembled. He lowered his head and kissed the silly girl on her lips. She was putty in his hands, and he knew there was not anything he asked of her she would not do.
“I want to marry you, but I have to wait some months to receive some funds due me so I will be able to afford a wife,” Wickham spun his fiction.
“But Wicky, if we are together, I care not if you need to wait for your money.”
“Dear girl, I love you more for your saying that. However, how will I purchase you the dresses you deserve? Will you be willing to go without. Also, until I receive what I am owed, we will not be able to afford a comfortable home or any servants. Would you be willing to cook, clean, and act as a servant until we can afford them?”
Lydia was horrified at the thought of having to work and not being able to order gowns as she desired them. “Of course we must wait, but come, let us go speak to Papa. What a lark, I, the youngest will be the first to marry.”
“Until I receive my due, this must remain a secret between us. Your father would deny a poor officer with no prospects, and then we would be sundered one from the other, as I would not be permitted to make my request again.” Wickham placed his hand over his heart dramatically. “I would not want to have to wait so many years until your majority if your father refuses us now. How would I live without you?”
“Of course you have the right of it. May I at least tell Kitty? We tell each other all of our secrets.”
Knowing that Denny was weaving a web for Miss Kitty as they spoke, Wickham supposed there would be no harm done as they would both have to hide what they did from their family members. Then again, if the stupid chits compared stories before they were bedded, and discovered they were the same, that would not do. “Would not Miss Kitty be jealous you are to marry before her? And if so, she may tell our secret, so I do not think it is a good idea. However, if you want to chance our future felicity and tell her…”
“No, no. I will not say a word to her,” Lydia vowed.
“Lydia is there somewhere close by, but private, where we can be together, away from anyone else, so we may express our love for one another?”
She was about to state that she knew of nowhere, when Lydia remembered the hunting cabin near Oakham Mount. She described it to Wickham and gave him directions so he would be able to find it.”
“Will you meet me there at five in the evening tomorrow? I will finish my duties at four.” Lydia nodded her head excitedly. All the flirting Mama had taught her was working, She was to marry this handsome officer, who had thankfully forgotten about Lizzy. “Remember, you cannot tell a living soul.”
“I swear on my life, I will not tell anyone,” Lydia promised.
Wickham walked Lydia back to the house where they were met by Denny and Kitty, neither of whom looked pleased. “Please convey our farewells to your family, we must away.” Wickham and Denny bowed and then began the walk back to Meryton.
“Well?” Wickham enquired.
“Miss Kitty would not allow me to kiss her, so I could not make the speech you gave me,” Denny said with a pout. “Did things go better for you?”
“They did. The little slut will meet me on the morrow.” Wickham told Denny about the unused hunting cabin. “Work on Miss Kitty, she will come around. Let us go see what state the cabin is in in the morning. I prefer to bed her on a relatively clean sheet.” Wickham leered at the thought of relieving Lydia Bennet of her virtue. If the cabin was serviceable, it would become his preferred location for seductions in the area.
Denny agreed sullenly.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Not many minutes after the two officers departed Longbourn, the Bingley coach, bearing the Hursts and Bingley, arrived at the Bennets’ estate.
When the callers were shown into the drawing room, Fanny got very excited. Now that Mr Collins had run off, it was that much more important that Jane marry Mr Bingley with his five thousand pounds per annum, and likely more. She knew only too well that her husband had done nothing to provide for his daughters once he was gone. That knowledge was the motivation behind her desire to see her daughters well-disposed in marriage.
Elizabeth did not miss how Mr Hurst seemed to be looking for someone, and she correctly guessed it was her father so they could play chess. After verifying he was indeed seeking her papa, Elizabeth led Mr Hurst to the study. When she knocked and entered with Mr Hurst trailing her, her father looked annoyed at his solitude being disrupted.
“Papa, I told Mr Hurst of your prowess at chess and he would like to challenge you across the board,” Elizabeth related.
As soon as he understood the reason for the interruption, Bennet perked up. “Come in, Mr Hurst, as you can see the chessboard is set up over there.” Bennet pointed to a small table between two armchairs near the one window. “Thank you, Lizzy, you may run along now.”
It hurt to be dismissed in such a curt fashion, but Elizabeth realised that she was welcome when her father did not have something better to do. Yes, she had much to consider. She returned to the drawing room in time to hear her mother make an excited exclamation.
“Of course you may have a private interview with Jane, she will be happy to hear anything you may want to say,” Fanny gushed.
As Jane had no objection to Mr Bingley’s request, she minded not that her mother had replied for her. “Is there a fire in the small parlour?” Jane asked before her mother volunteered to make everyone else remove themselves from the drawing room.
Elizabeth sat down next to Louisa and could not but feel beyond pleased at the glow of pleasure on Jane’s countenance.
Seeing that she could not remember if she had instructed Hill to lay a fire in that grate, Fanny rang for her housekeeper. With Mrs Hill’s confirmation it was so, Jane led Mr Bingley to the parlour.
Even though there was no chaperone seated outside in the hall, with the parlour being opposite from the drawing room, Bingley was not too concerned about propriety. If someone claimed a compromise, so be it, he would not complain. It would only accelerate the process he hoped to begin this day.
The couple sat on the lone settee which faced the fire crackling in the grate. There was an appropriate distance between them. Bingley cleared his throat. His mouth felt dry, he had never before been nervous when he spoke to a lady, but then again, he had never been in love with one previously. “Miss Bennet, I find that you are the only woman for me. I will freely admit that it was your beauty which first attracted my attention, but during that first dance at the assembly it was not hard for me to detect that you are so much more than your outward fa?ade.
“Before I met you, I had thought myself in love a few times, but no sooner was I separated from each of the ladies, my feelings that I thought were real, faded. Since I have met you I understand that what I felt before was simply calf-love. That I know because the love I feel for you is deeper than anything I could imagine. It is strong and constant, and in addition, I respect you more than you will ever know.
“When I was away for almost a sennight, I felt like part of me was missing. Never before have I felt that. How we proceed, if we proceed, is entirely up to you. Do you, Miss Bennet, think you can see a future with me?”
“I most certainly do,” Jane replied emphatically.
Bingley grinned with great pleasure. “That leaves us with two options: a courtship or an engagement.”
“Lizzy and I swore we would only marry for the deepest love and respect, and as that is what I have come to feel for you, Mr Bingley…Charles, I think the former would be superfluous, so if I have a choice, I choose the latter option.”
“I suppose it is too late to go down onto one knee. Jane, will you marry me?”
“Yes, a thousand times, and a thousand times more, I will marry you, Charles.”
If Bingley had thought he had seen beatific smiles from her before, they were nothing to the way his fiancée’s face lit up with pure, unadulterated joy. He stood and took her hands and gently assisted her to stand too. There was no mistaking the permission in her look. When their lips met, there was a promise of passion to come on both sides.
After more than a few kisses, as much as he did not want to part from his angel, his wife-to-be, Bingley forced himself to step back. “Jane,” how he loved being able to call her by her informal name, “I am aware you are of age, but I assume you would like me to receive your father’s blessing.”
“Yes, although if he denies it, if you will have me, I will still marry you. Nothing but you, will stop that,” Jane stated with certitude.
“Then while you go to your mother, I will go to your father,” Bingley decided. He escorted his beloved to the drawing room and continued on to the study. He knocked on the door and was invited to enter.
When Jane floated into the drawing room, her face told those within all they needed to know. “Yes, Mama, I am engaged,” she confirmed for her overjoyed mother.
Approbation was expressed by all except for Lydia. Louisa expressed her joy at gaining more sisters. While everyone hugged Jane, Lydia sat and pouted. She hated not being the centre of attention, and she did not want to cede her position as the first Bennet sister to marry. She would speak to Wicky on the morrow when they met at the hunting cabin. She was sure he would gratify her.
In the study, Bennet gave his blessing as soon as he could, so he could get back to the challenging game he was playing against Hurst. That man stood and clapped his brother on the back in congratulation. Thankfully, his future son-in-law withdrew soon enough so Bennet could return to his game. If he noticed Hurst’s look of surprise that he was not going to announce the engagement himself, Bennet did not show it.
On his entry to the drawing room, Jane lit up all over again when her fiancé nodded, letting her know he had received her father’s blessing. Saddest of all, Jane did not miss her father’s wishes for happy.
For Elizabeth, her father’s neglect on this happiest day in Jane’s life, at least so far, added more questions to the growing list she had.
Fanny Bennet issued an invitation to remain for dinner, and she would not hear of the Netherfield Park party not remaining for the meal. Before Bingley and the Hursts departed after dinner, Bingley had a moment alone with his Jane in the entrance hall. He conveyed Darcy’s request to her.
Jane was not one to crow about ‘I told you so’ so she decided she would speak to Lizzy when Charlotte, Lizzy, and herself were to meet between Lucas Lodge and Longbourn on the morrow to take a walk together. Jane hoped Lizzy would finally listen.