Page 8 of Einar (The Brigands of Ruk #2)

Chapter Eight

ROWAN

Time wears on as hours and miles pass by. Ruby attempts to get me to talk to her several times throughout our drive, but I don’t. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t want to or just can’t. In fact, the very thought of conversation is exhausting. I might not ever want to discuss my time with Robert , and that’s something she will have to learn to deal with. That won’t be an easy concept for my meddling big sister to grasp.

I know I’m different. There’s no way I could be the same person now as I was before Robert got his hands on me. Hopefully , that isn’t something she has her heart set on, or she will just become one more person I have disappointed in my life. Ruby must have gotten the hint because after a while she stops trying to pry and falls silent. The hum of the tires on pavement and the soothing embrace of the night lull me into a fitful sleep. I have no idea how long I’ve slept when a gentle shake wakes me.

“ Hey , get up. We’re at the motel; I’ll be right back.” I groggily nod my head, sleep still clinging heavily to my mind. Rubbing my eyes, I watch Ruby open the glass door and walk into the lobby. The sign on the closing door reads, “ JJ’s .”

We made it.

Ruby reaches the front desk, and an older woman appears behind the counter. I observe their conversation as they go back and forth. Apparently , we are in the right place because the lady hands Ruby a room key. A few more words are exchanged before Ruby turns, making her way back out to me in the SUV . I shoot her a questioning look as she gets in the vehicle.

“ Looks like we have a room in the back.” Again , I just nod. Ruby’s lips tighten in annoyance at my lack of interaction, but I’m worn thin like butter scraped over too much toast.

Putting the SUV in drive, she pulls around to the back of the building and backs in between two other cars. She hops out, popping the latch to the back as she goes.

Numbness is setting in. My flight or fight adrenaline is gone, and the nap I took on the way here did nothing to help the bone deep weariness within me. Opening the passenger door, I get out of the SUV and just stand there, looking around with little care as to where I am.

It’s not with Robert , and that’s all that matters.

Ruby’s soft voice pulls my attention to her. “ Here Sis , take this key and find the door with no number on it while I get a few things out of the car.”

I hesitate. I’m safe as long as I’m with Ruby , but it’s dark…bad things happen in the dark.

“ Hold up, I’ll come with you.”

Relief floods through me. I don’t have to make a decision, and I don’t have to be alone. Ruby finishes getting her bags out of the back, closes the hatch, and moves around the car toward me. The wheels on her suitcase have a slight squeak to them. The sound seems overly loud in the surrounding darkness.

Moving in unison, we walk down the sidewalk in front of the rooms. Glancing down at the key, I notice it doesn’t have a room number on it as I scan the numbered doors we’re passing. Absently , I note that Ruby literally just told me to look for the door with no number, so it should stand to reason the key wouldn’t have one either.

Am I finally losing my mind?

I have no idea if we’re going the right way or not. Thankfully , it’s not long before we find our room. It’s tucked into a corner, and I look over at Ruby as she motions for me to swipe the card, thus unlocking the door. Heeding her unspoken request, I slide the key card into the slot. A soft click and a green light grant us access to the room. Pulling the door open, we both walk through the doorway.

Looking around, I notice that the room isn’t anywhere near as lavish as some of the places that I’ve stayed with Robert , but I don’t care. A gilded cage is still a cage, and it definitely wasn’t worth the price I paid. The room is larger than I expected; one might even say spacious by midrange hotel standards, and it’s decorated in a calming light blue and cheerful yellow colors.

Two full-sized beds with matching duvet covers take up the majority of the space in the main room but curiously, there are doors on either side of them.

I wonder where those go?

Locking the door behind us, I notice that Ruby wastes no time after entering the room. She tosses her bag on the first of the two beds and then goes to check out where the other two mystery doors lead to.

Naturally , she chose the bed closest to the door leading outside.

Typical Ruby .

Ruby opens the first door and it appears to lead to a small kitchen area with a sitting room type space connected to it. They’ve mounted a television on the wall, creating a space to sit and relax.

Ruby’s soft gasp pulls my attention to the other door. Retreating from my perusal of the common area, I walk over to the other door and enter the room behind her. There is a gorgeous, yet massive claw-foot tub dominating the space. The far wall boasts double vanities and the remaining one a walk-in shower.

I guess Ruby sees me gazing longingly at the tub because she says,

“ Hey , I’m going to take a quick shower and when I get done, you can go ahead and take a nice, long bath. Edith said we’re welcome to use anything in these rooms, like the clothes or any of the personal care stuff. But I have some extra things in my bag that should fit you if you’d rather use them instead. I’m gonna grab something out of the fridge to eat and then watch TV for a little bit until my mind calms down while you’re taking a bath. She also said that she was going to bring us breakfast around eight. I’ll need to get to bed soon if I’m going to finish the drive tomorrow, because we still have quite a ways to go.”

Mutely , I nod my agreement. Words are just too much effort right now. Leaving Ruby to her privacy, I close the door quietly behind me and walk over to the remaining bed. Easing my sore body down on the soft surface, I sigh in relief. Sitting feels nice.

I’m not sure what time it is or even what day it is at this point, and I don’t really care. The lack of movement is a balm to my battered body, and I feel my mind start to drift. I haven’t had any true privacy or alone time since I married Robert . It’s a novel concept for me now. Thoughts roil around in my mind like snakes writhing in a pit.

Regrets .

Recriminations .

I’m so lost in thought that I don’t hear the bathroom door open when Ruby steps out. Her intentionally softly spoken words, when my sister is anything but timid, pull me from my reverie.

“ Rowan , I’m done in the bathroom. It’s all yours, sis.”

I don’t even have the energy to nod at her. I just stand up, walk back to the open bathroom door, and slip past her into the steamy room. Pushing the door closed behind me, I turn the lock. The soft snick seems overly loud in the quiet of the room, causing me to wince ever so slightly. I’m sure that rankled my sister … but there are things on and in my body that I’m not ready to share with anyone. So , she can get over whatever pique my locking of the door causes.

Sluggishly , I take off my clothes. Being careful as usual not to snag the chains on my body as I disrobe. I hate the piercings and everything they represent.

But .

Always the inevitable, ‘but’.

Unless I can get my hands on a stout pair of wire cutters, I won’t be able to take the chain off. Robert also had infinity loop jewelry put in all the piercings. This means that a licensed piercer will have to take them out, and since they’re connected to my nipples and clit, I’m terrified to try to take them out by myself.

Ignoring the mirrors reflecting my gaunt body, I reach over and turn the hot water on all the way while using the cold to make the heat less scalding and more bearable. Once I’m satisfied with the temperature, I look around the bathroom as I wait for the tub to fill. A cute woven basket on the ground next to the tub catches my attention. It’s filled with every type of product a woman could want in a bath. I see bubbles, bath bombs, Epsom salts, and more.

The lavender bubble bath with melatonin, coconut/vanilla bath bomb, and plain old Epsom salts sound like a winning combination. Decision made, I toss in a bomb, squirt in the bubble bath and dump a large amount of Epsom salts into the rapidly filling tub. The water turns a milky white as the bomb dissolves and the combination of scents fills the air.

Carefully , I swing one leg over the side of the tub only to find the bottom of the tub is textured to prevent slipping, so I waste no time in getting in the rest of the way and easing down into the water. Once the tub fills to the depth I prefer, I reach up and turn the water off. Leaning back against the tub, I soak in the heat and relief.

The tears, when they come, almost catch me by surprise.

I thought I was all cried out, but the soothing embrace of a hot bath and the tentative safety I’m experiencing bring it all back to me; the memories slamming into me with the force of a freight train. Years of conditioning prevent me from making any noise as I cry. The behavior is so ingrained, I no longer consciously realize I’m doing it until I notice Ruby hasn’t come knocking on the door in concern.

I don’t know how long I lay there crying, but when I’m done, I don’t feel any better than when I started. I linger in the tub until my skin prunes and the water begins to cool.

Time to get out.

Standing , lukewarm water sluices off my emaciated body. Disgust fills me as I look down. What a broken creature I’ve become.