Page 28 of Einar (The Brigands of Ruk #2)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

ROWAN

If I thought that other thing had a deep voice, I was grossly mistaken. This creature, this alien’s voice, is so deep that it almost rattles the room around me.

“ Greetings , little one. My name is Einar . May I ask what you are called?”

He takes a step closer to me and I tense in alarm. When he notices my reaction, he freezes in place and waits. Okay , introductions. I’ve done enough of those being ponied around on Roberts ’ arm. I can at least handle surface conversation. Touching my tongue to my lips, I wet them and clear my throat before replying.

“ Uhm … hello. My … my name is Rowan .”

The look of sublime pleasure that spreads across his face at learning something as simple as my name is almost painful to watch. Ruby and Kallen’s conversation comes back to me, and I know I’ve got to say something to him about that.

Explain .

Maybe even apologize.

I can’t be what he needs.

I don’t want to be what he needs.

“ My sister, Ruby , and a female that looks similar to you by the name of Kallen were here earlier. They said some things while they thought I was still asleep…”

At my hesitation, he circles around the bed I’m sitting on, grabs some sort of rolling stool, and positions it where he can sit far enough away to make me comfortable with his presence but close enough, we can talk comfortably. He must be smarter than he looks because the spot he picked leaves a direct avenue of escape open to both of the exits. Once Einar is settled, he prompts me to continue.

“ It is good to finally know the name of my mate and her fierce sister. Thank you for gifting them to me. You mentioned that Kallen and your Ruby were here discussing something that appears to have troubled you deeply? What is it that concerns you, and how can I assist you in being comfortable here… with me?”

“ That’s just it! Your gods must be playing some sort of cosmic joke on you. I can’t possibly be your mate. I’m still married! For whatever it’s worth.”

His big body tightens at my last statement.

“ Married ? That is the human version of binding beings together spiritually as well as legally, yes?”

At my hesitant nod, he continues.

“ I do not know all that you suffered, but it stands to reason that whomever you were married to did not care for you as he should have. I realize you have been through much, but you should know that the Earth is no more… From what we have surmised, there was a world ending super storm that caused the entire planet to implode. You are married no longer and are free from that male.”

His disgusted, snarled words shock me so deeply I can’t move.

“ What do you mean Earth is gone? How can it be gone?! We were just abducted a few weeks ago and everything was fine when we left.”

I can’t say I’m sad to hear Robert is dead … but the entire planet is gone?! My hysterical words cause sympathy to fill his eyes as he regards me with steady determination.

“ I have no reason to lie to you, little Starshine . Your Earth is no more, but regardless whether you believe me or not, these are the facts and I will not hide them from you. Nor will I insult your intelligence by belittling you or withholding information that you must have in order to make informed decisions. You are currently on the Zenith , the ship that my brothers and I live on, in the Void . It is far, far, from where your Earth was. There is no way you were abducted a short time ago. The delayed response of your cells when you first arrived tells me that you were in some sort of suspended animation or cryosleep for a very long time.”

Forcing myself to process the information, I replay his words in my mind. If what he’s saying is true, there’s no home to go back to. All I have is Ruby . Peering over at him from beneath my lashes, I ask the question that’s been lingering on the tip of my tongue.

“ What are you going to do to me?”

Einar winces and rubs at his chest as if he’s in pain.

“ I am not going to do anything to you. The collar around my throat and across my body marks me as yours, to do with as you so choose. You are under no obligation to return my affections or seal the bond with me. To me, you are a blessing and the culmination of every dream I never dared to speak aloud.”

His heartfelt words make me frown in confusion. That … isn’t what I was expecting him to say. The other aliens are acting super possessive and hovering over their women, but this one isn’t? It’s a question I need to know the answer to.

“ Why ? The guy that came and got Kallen was acting all possessive and controlling, and even Ruby hinted that her gargoyle dude refused to leave her alone. So , what gives with you?”

He hesitates before replying while maintaining eye contact with me.

“ You have suffered. Greatly . I am a medic and far more observant than most. I do not know exactly what horrors you have been subjected to, but the damage I healed on your body… some of it happened long ago. The fact that the majority of your bodily trauma was centered around your sexual organs is telling. I was not able to erase all of the scars, but I did manage to fade most of them as well as cure you of the affliction attacking your lungs.”

Shame fills me and my eyes leave his to stare at my lap.

“ I do not tell you these things to cause you discomfort, but to be as honest as I know how to be. There are a few things I did to save your life that you were not in the right state of mind to give me the consent to do. For that, I do apologize and you have my word that you will not be forced to do anything you are not comfortable with, nor in full consent of.”

Then it dawns on me that he’s the one who took the piercings out and healed the holes up.

“ You’re the one who took them off and out of me… aren’t you?”

He understands what I mean instantly. I’m not sure how, but his voice gentles even more at my tortured whisper.

“ Yes , little Starshine . I removed those vile things from your body.”

When my eyes dart to the pitch-black marks on his body, his perceptive gaze catches it.

“ If you chose to fulfill the mate bond, I am unsure if you would have a mark or not. My species has never mated with a human before but considering what was done to you, I can understand how you would be extremely hesitant to have another permanent mark of possession stamped across your body.”

A shudder of revulsion crawls through me at the thought of having something else on me like that. Robert insisted that I have permanent make-up done, so my lips, eyes and brows are all tattooed to perfection. I didn’t want any of that, preferring a more natural look, but I wasn’t given a choice in the matter. This … mark, would be even more noticeable than my cosmetic tattoos.

Not that it matters. I never want to have sex again. Just the thought of it fills me with revulsion after the years of sexual abuse I’ve suffered.

Einar lifts one of his hand and rubs at the same spot on his chest and the words slip out before I realize what I’ve said.

“ Why do you keep doing that? Rubbing your chest in the middle like it hurts?”

A rueful smile pulls at his mouth, revealing the length of his tusk as well as sharp incisors and canines.

“ I can smell the distress rolling off of you in waves, and it is pulling at my mate bond. We call it the heartbond and it allows me to feel some of your emotions as well. It is telling me to soothe you and fix whatever it is that is causing your upset, but since I am the one causing you emotional distress, there is nothing I can do. The sensation is not an overly pleasant one.”

Guilt fills me. This is a specific example of why his gods have done him dirty. I’m not fit to be anyone’s mate.

“ Einar , I’m so sorry. I know that you think I’m your mate and a dream come true, but I’m just a broken human woman with nothing left to give anyone. Would you still want me if I told you more men, and some women, than I can count have violated every orifice of my body? That my blood has been used as lube more often than not. That the man who promised to love, honor, and cherish me allowed his friends to pass me around like a party favor night after night. That sometimes he forced me to take substances to make my body respond pleasurably to being raped by multiple men. My husband was a monster. He broke me and then remade me into the perfect toy with which to play with. I’m nothing more than a high-class whore because that’s what I was forced to become in order to survive. I’m filth, and no matter how much I try to wash it off, it never leaves me. You don’t want that for a mate.”

Raising my tear-filled eyes, I look him dead in the eye to watch his reaction to my revelations.

His mossy green skin pales as the blood drains from his face and tears well in his yellow dragon eyes. Slowly , he stands and moves toward me with deliberate steps, making sure he doesn’t make any sudden movements that might scare me. Even with all his caution, I feel the first flick of fear curl through my belly when he stops next to my bed and reaches out with one of his massive hands, curling it around my neck and jaw as his thumb whispers across my freckled skin.

Carefully , yet firmly, he pulls my face up so that I’m forced to look at him, held captive by the emotion emanating from his inhuman gaze.

“ Rowan , little Starshine , my hearts break for you. No female should have to endure what you have. Not . Ever . Deep inside, you are still Rowan , and nothing done to your physical person will ever change that. What was done to you does not make you less worthy of being my mate. In fact, it makes you perfect for me. I was trained to heal what could not be healed, to see what others cannot, and to understand the misunderstood. The gods knew what they were doing when they gifted your soul to mine, and mine to yours. You need not ever worry about me wanting you because I see more than just your beautiful body. I can see your soul, my mate, and it is breathtaking.”

By the time he finishes speaking, I’m sobbing, the weight of my head held within his calloused palm as I cry out my emotions. I don’t know how long I cry but he stands patiently next to my bed, holding me together with one giant hand. When my crying fit is winding down, he smoothly removes his hand with one last caress along my jaw before he removes my IV from my arm and places some sort of patch where the needle slid from arm. Einar then methodically steps back from the bed, giving me the space he knows I need.

A yawn catches me by surprise.

“ It is getting late, and I am sure you are tired. Tomorrow is a new rising and we can face it when it comes.

Pulling the warm blanket up to my chin, I scoot back down on the bed, rolling to face away from him as I do so. Just because he says pretty things, doesn’t mean anything. Robert started out with pretty words, heartfelt gestures, and extravagant gifts. Look where that got me.

Einar makes no response to my silent snub and I hear his heavy tread move away from me, back toward the door on the other side of the room only to return after a few minutes. A soft, swishing behind me catches my attention and I wait until I hear him leave before turning over.

What I see makes tears fill my eyes again.

He brought me a dress and not just any dress. It’s a beautiful, dark green gown that has sleeves! Scrambling out of the bed, I grab it and pull it on over my head, sighing at the sensation of being clothed for the first time in a very long time. The dress is a little big on me, but it has a modest neckline that comes up to my collar bones and sleeves that extend all the way down to my wrists. Not only is my entire upper body covered, but the hem reaches my ankles so I’m completely covered.

Twirling around, I giggle a little at the flutter the hem makes as the material swings with my movements.

Out of the corner of my eye I see movement and my head jerks up in response. Einar is standing in the doorway watching me with a soft smile on his brutish face as he watches me.

Ducking my head, I rub the sleeve of my dress with the tips of my fingers, the decadent material making me smile again.

“ Thank you.”

His hearing must be much better than a humans because he hears me as if we’re standing next to one another.

“ You are most welcome, Rowan .”

His quiet words wash over me before he turns and leaves.

Climbing back into bed, I situate my pretty new dress around me as I settle in and finally relax as sleep claims me.