Page 4

Delaney

“Did I mention how hot you looked out there earlier, taking all your mates like that?”

Even after all this, August still finds a way to make me blush.

Though I'm sure if he were to pull me up against his chest in this way and whisper just about anything with his warm breath raking against my skin, I’d react the same way.

Ooh, idea. “Do me a favor. Whisper something completely ridiculous but do it in the same tone and manner you just did.”

August pauses for a beat, no doubt used to my weirdness by now. “Um, okay, how about, zebras zigzag a zillion times while eating zucchini.”

I feel my face scrunch up. Maybe it was the delivery. “Er, never mind. I just dried way up.”

Adam shoves his way between us, kissing me on the forehead. “So…the demon, huh? You think he’ll be your last?”

I look at my arm, at all the mate marks I've already got. “It seems silly at this point that I have to say this shit out loud. I believe Rush is my mate.”

As expected, another circle appears above the others. “Lovely. If only I could cheat and find out how many more dicks I'm expected to entertain by saying, ‘I think I have three more mates.’”

I go back to brushing my teeth when my arm is rudely grabbed and throats are cleared. “Uh, Delaney? Maybe you just affected that. You couldn't have said, ‘I think Rush is my last mate?’”

I pause, my mouth full of toothpaste foam, then spit it everywhere when I now see three empty circles I apparently just asked for indelibly marked on my arm as a sense of completion washes over me.

Adam grabs a washcloth from the shelf and wets it, peering through one eye as he does so he doesn't get toothpaste in it. Once he cleans his face, I grin at him sheepishly. “Oops.”

August barks out a loud, booming laugh. “Only you, Delaney. Gods, I love you. You know that? Okay, three more. You sure you don't want to try again, just to make sure?”

I throw my hands in the air and decide to throw out a crazy number. “I think I have ten more mates.”

Everybody holds their breath, but nothing happens. My arm stays exactly the same. “See? Chill.”

Nobody says anything else as I floss and rinse and leave the bathroom.

I get about five steps into the living room, my toes sinking happily into the shag carpeting before Adam asks, “Who's gonna tell her?”

I spin around ready to say something sassy, but then Leo is there, spinning me towards him and grasping my other hand. “What's all this? Are you ill? What sort of symptoms are these? Shall we phone a healer?”

I look down in horror at my right arm, which now bears seven marks as well, unable to say anything. My tongue flaps around in my mouth as I forget how to breathe, and then I'm fairly sure I black out.

???

Colors swirl around me and something smells like…cotton candy. I know I'm dreaming, but at the moment I have no idea why.

Maniacal laughter starts to echo throughout the cloud-like atmosphere I'm floating in, but I don’t see the source of it.

The cloud puff carries me further around, like a non-sentient escort, until I'm overlooking an entire city built on clouds.

They're clearly very different from the clouds in my world, and absolutely everything seems to be either pastel or covered in glitter.

Or rainbows. There are a lot of fucking rainbows.

I can't even begin to figure out what my brain is trying to tell me by creating this weird dream space, but the bustling city in front of me feels and looks too real to be a figment of my imagination.

Plus, there's a giant ass billboard in front of the closest city block cloud that reads, ‘THIS ISN'T A DREAM, DELANEY’.

It's creepy, is what it is.

Why does that billboard know my name? Or is it the biggest coincidence ever conceived?

Of course, the billboard magically changes at that thought.

“IT IS I. YOUR FAIRYGODDESS UNICORN. WELCOME.”

So much nope.

The cloud I'm on decides that's a great time to race towards the billboard, which apparently is more of a portal?

I don't hit a solid surface as I careen towards it, but instead I yelp when the surface of the board feels like I'm being tickled everywhere at once, lasting about three solid seconds while I pass through a fully permeable surface.

“Fucking hell,” I gasp, trying to catch my breath.

“I'm offended to be mistaken for such a place. Is this not the most magical place you've ever seen?”

I honestly can't look past her absolute dump truck of an ass, because she's a massive fucking unicorn. Like, horn and everything with a white coat encrusted with what might be actual diamonds, neon rainbow mane, and tits just out and proud.

“Wow.” Why can’t I look away?

She looks down at her chest proudly. “I know, right? Being a goddess seriously has its perks.”

“Uh, should I…bow?” I drop into a really weird half curtsy/bow monstrosity, and then I straighten out immediately when a very clear memory hits me. “Wait. Are these your fault?” I gesture to the ridiculous marks trailing up and down each arm.

“Did you even look at them properly? Notice anything strange about them?”

“What’s different about them,” I continue to rant, “is that they’re there. Do you see how many circles are on my two arms, and how many holes are currently in my body? And no, don’t you dare suggest we can make some new ones. I’m not that kinky.”

Booming laughter sounds from beyond the room, and I spin quickly to see if I can find it, but there’s nothing. The goddess gestures to the windows that look out over the city. “Sweet child. We are being broadcast throughout the realm. I believe you are charming quite a few of my children.”

“Wow, so they definitely heard me insinuate you have a great rack, then?”

More laughter.

I face the window, which apparently is actually a camera, and wave very awkwardly. “Uh, hi.”

“So, Delaney, we were just talking about your quest to come here and save the race, how exciting! You must be simply thrilled to see all the fine specimens accumulating for you.”

I spin towards her, mouth unattractively agape.

“Nooo, we were not talking about that, thank you very much. I’ll have you know I already have a bevy of excellent men waiting for me back home.

So, if that’s all you needed, I’ll just…

” I hitch my thumb over my shoulder to indicate that I’m ready to go home.

“Fine, fine, fine,” she says. “You’re lucky I’m not one of those goddesses with fragile egos. You didn’t even ask me my name,” she says with a pout.

“Uh, you’re the goddess.”

“That’s my sister. As you saw, I am the Fairygoddess Unicorn. It’s very different.”

“Right. Umm, I actually need to call you Fairygoddess Unicorn? Okay. Fairygoddess Unicorn, it’s nice to meet you. Why am I here?”

“As I understand, your mother had some sort of ‘chosen one’ deal with my sister in your world, correct? Some dramatic thing she had to go through to collect her mates and save the world, yadda, yadda, yadda. Something not a lot of people know, is that there are realms all over the place, with different gods and goddesses in charge of each one. Do tell your mother thank you for me when you get home, will you? It wasn’t easy I know, but the fact that she was able to get my sister safely away from your poisonous realm and into a safer one means the world to me.

I mean, I only have about 587.2 sisters, and each one is so very precious to me. ”

“Point two? How do you have one-fifth of a sister?”

“That’s a very rude question.”

I throw my hands up. “My bad. Ignore me. Continue, please.”

Her rainbow eyelashes flutter before she decides that maybe I’m actually earnest. “Being immortal and living forever gets a bit boring. To keep things somewhat interesting, my siblings and I all take turns choosing a champion to solve all of our problems. There aren’t a lot of rules, but the steadfast one is that the champion chosen must be in some way connected to the previous one chosen by her siblings.

As a show of gratitude for your mother saving my sister, I decided to give you the fantastical honor of being my chosen one.

” She turns over her shoulder and yells, “Hit it, boys!”

A tiny marching band full of…crabs? comes barreling through the room, playing actual instruments that are twisted into all sorts of wild shapes. They march across the oddly patterned stone flooring while confetti rains from the ceiling.

“The confetti’s edible,” she whispers. “Just don’t eat too much; it’ll fuck you up.”

I close my mouth very quickly.

She raises her hands like she’s about to direct a musical ensemble, and then a magical choir of chubby, winged creatures drop from the ceiling, singing in perfect harmony about how incredible it is that I’ve been given this chance.

It's very overwhelming, to say the least.

Eventually, the little marching band of crustaceans does exit the room, and then a sentient vacuum zooms by, making lewd gestures while collecting all the psychedelic confetti and then it’s quiet again.

The winged creatures are still there, but they’re silent at least as they watch our interaction.

“These marks on your arm,” Fairygoddess explains, “are my claim on you.”

“That’s…fine. Yep, totally fine .” Shit shit shit shit shit . Maybe I should have listened to my mom better when she warned me of the dangers of tempting goddesses to assign more mates.

“Aren’t you going to ask why they’re on your arm?”

“Yep, totally my next question. Also…is it too late to ask for some of that confetti you swept up? The stuff you said would fuck me up?”

She laughs in an over-the-top obnoxious way, but it totally works for her somehow. “You are delightful. I need you to take some of my people as mates.”

“You said I was here to save the race?”

“Did I? Perhaps I was a little overly dramatic.”

“So, the unicorns…don’t need saving?”

“Oh no, they definitely do,” she says with a manic smile. “Does that clear things up?”