Page 58

I dropped onto a sandbank overlooking the ocean and towering sea stacks. The waves were violent, almost as if they sensed the looming battle ahead, but I welcomed the tumultuous tides. They were the only things big enough to drown out the horrific thoughts in my head.

Above me, the sky lazily rotated in a glittering dance—a stark contrast to the ocean and turmoil within me.

I inhaled deeply, letting the cool, salty air fill my lungs.

I held the breath as Rowen’s absence, the looming battle ahead, and my certain future pressed down on me.

The slow exhale allowed me to shrug, just a little, to readjust the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I shivered as the chilly ocean air washed over my skin. I’d changed into a pale blue night slip that hugged my every curve yet did little in the way of providing warmth.

I ran my hands up and down my arms when a thick blanket was wrapped around my shoulders, trapping my hair within the fabric. The broad palms gave a firm yet welcoming squeeze, and a familiar warmth seeped into my skin.

I whipped my head around, my heart leaping in anticipation.

“Are you okay?” Maddock asked behind me, and my heart dropped. I blinked up to his large frame that eclipsed the stars in the perfect shape of his body.

“I needed to get some quiet. It was too loud in my dome,” I said, digging my toes into the sand.

“Yeah. Same,” he said, gesturing to my side. “May I join you?”

I nodded, and he plopped down next to me on the sand. His arm settled against mine, offering me more warmth and protection from the cold.

“You ready to tell me what’s going on? Why you’ve been acting strange?”

I wrapped the shawl tighter around my shoulders. “Is war not a good enough reason to act strange?”

His angular eyes narrowed. “It’s more than that, I think.”

“I’m just stressed, tired, and without my other half.”

“Keira, you can tell me anything. You know that, right? I would never tell anyone.”

The sincerity on his face made my bond hum. It wasn’t his bond, or at this point, maybe it was. He placed his palm on my hand, his touch sending a bolt of electricity through my skin .

“What is it, Keira? You’re scaring me. I’ll imagine the worst if you don’t tell me.”

My bottom lip trembled. “It is the worst,” I barely whispered, unable to look him in the eye.

“What do you mean? Does it have to do with Rowen being a lord, or what happens after?”

Something in me crashed like sea stacks falling into the sea. “There won’t be an after for me,” I said, my eyes finally meeting his.

“Keira, what do you mean?” he asked carefully, his smooth jaw clenching.

“I spoke with Indrasyl in the Hymma. She said . . . she said, I will have to give all of me. But no one can know. They won’t let me go if they know.”

Fury rippled through him. “N-no. There has to be another way.”

“I thought I could rewrite the stars,” I said, looking back at the ocean. “But I can’t. Indrasyl was clear.”

He hooked his finger on my chin and pulled my gaze back to his. “What does she know? You aren’t some sacrificial lamb that gets to walk willingly to the altar. You did it at Hara’dune, and you’re doing it again now. And how many other times I wonder. It’s not your job.”

I blinked back tears. “Yes, it is.”

“It’s a job you didn’t sign up for. It isn’t fair,” he yelled, squeezing my chin tighter.

“It’s not,” I agreed with a wince, and he dropped his hand from me.

“Rowen doesn’t know, and you don't want him to. That’s why you’ve been pushing all your pain to me.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” I said, my mind flashing to Rowen and our last moments together.

They were fleeting, but there was no mistaking how his face lit up at the prospect of creating a better world with me.

It had given him light at the end of the tunnel.

Something I hadn’t seen myself or even thought long enough to imagine.

I couldn’t bear to tell Rowen there would be no future with me. It would break me and make me question everything I had to do.

Maddock’s eyebrows furrowed. “You can’t expect me not to tell him.”

“It’s not just for the Wyn village or Luneth, but Earth too. That’s where Erovos means to go next. If you tell Rowen, he won’t let me do what needs to be done.”

“And you think I will?” he demanded, pouncing toward me. I fell back onto my wrists as the blanket slipped off my shoulders. His narrow hips slid between my knees.

My eyes narrowed. “If you say anything, I’ll kill you.”

His gaze darted to my mouth, then to my peaked nipples beneath the slip. His gaze snapped back to mine, and he chuckled a dark, humorless laugh. “You’ve threatened to murder me more times than I can count. It’s adorable at this point.”

The air stilled around us. “Maddock, please,” I barely whispered. “It’s my last wish.” Something on my face must have told him how much I needed to do this. “Swear to me you won’t tell him.”

“Keira, he already knows something is up. He’s not stupid. He can sense it.”

“Just swear to me,” I said, ignoring how his hips would only have to lower an inch to line up with mine. “If you do, I’ll finally forgive you.”

He hesitated, his eyes shocked and wide. “I swear,” he finally said, his whole body poised over mine.

I smiled, but it was hollow, and I placed my hand on his cheek. “Thank you. I appreciate it. Just promise you’ll be there for Rowen afterward. Don’t let him do anything stupid. ”

“Like what you’re doing now? What if I already promised Rowen not to let you do anything stupid?”

I smiled and patted his cheek. “Mine trumps his,” I said, gently pushing him off me.

“If I promise not to tell him, you’ll really forgive me for what happened in the crevice?” Maddock asked, kneeling before me. Our breaths were heavy and mingled as the weight of my confession thickened in the air.

For a moment, I wanted to tell him that I had forgiven him long ago. But I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. “We’ll see if you keep your promise.”

A small, sad smile pulled at his lips. “All I have ever wanted is your forgiveness.”

I got up and handed him the blanket. “It’s difficult to forgive someone you hate.”

His eyes trailed up my body that glistened like a pearl in the moonlight.

“You expect me to just let you walk away, knowing what you will do tomorrow? I could chase you down, tie you up, and lock you away. Guard the door and miss out on the battle myself. The last time we fought, I was worthless. At least this time, I would be doing some good by keeping you safe. You’d hate me for it, but you already hate me anyway. ”

“You would never be able to catch me,” I said, pivoting on my heel.

I walked away from my bond and Light stealer. I’d threatened to kill and hate him for all of time, but as I left him on the beach, I realized I’d confessed my darkest secret to him.

I turned back to the man I’d first met in a coma. He’d been a shell of a human, but now, he was vibrant and warm and bursting with life. “You know, you’re making it harder for me to hate you.”