Page 5 of Echoes on the Wind (Borrowed Time #2)

I gripped the back of the chair so tightly that my knuckles were turning white, but I daren’t let go because the weakness that had overcome my legs was threatening to send me tumbling to the ground.

“Well that doesn’t make any sense at all,” Mair said, ending the silence that had fallen between us. She screwed her face up and stared between us, waiting for an explanation, but my mind was racing, and Zack clearly had no idea why what he’d said was so absurd. “Will one of you say something?”

“That’s impossible,” I spat out, keeping my eyes locked on my hands. “You must have gotten it wrong.”

“Well, it wasn’t quite two years ago,” Zack replied. “It was just after you left.”

“After I left? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I threw my arms up as I spoke, but I tried to keep an even tone. It wasn’t his fault that I felt so guilty, but his lack of sense and urgency was leaving me frustrated.

“For goodness sake, Zack, what are you on about?” Mair stepped in, saying what I was thinking .

He stopped bouncing the baby and stared between us, confused by our interrogation. “A couple of days after you left last time, after Nellie’s wedding, I was just finishing up for the day, and I turned around and you were standing there in the lane looking all confused. Only it wasn’t you. Didn’t know you had a twin, did I? So I say, ‘ Hello Tom, back already? ’, and he says that he’s not Tom, that he's your brother, and he can’t find you. So I said, ‘ Well you won’t find him here. He’s gone to Cardiff’.”

“Cardiff?” I shouted, unable to keep my cool. “What did you tell him that for?”

“And you didn’t think to mention any of this to me?” Mair jumped in.

“Why would I tell you? We weren’t even courting. I didn’t think it mattered, did I? It was him he was looking for, not you.” He turned back to me, and I sort of felt sorry for him, caught between Mair and me, with no idea what he’d done wrong. “And I said Cardiff because that’s where Mair said you’d gone after you left.”

“Please, Zack,” I begged, filled with desperation. “Are you sure you weren’t mistaken?”

“As sure as I am that you’re standing right there,” he replied.

I turned and ran my hands through my hair, and as his words sunk in, the sick feeling returned. “Mair, I’ve really messed up.”

“Well, I still don’t understand,” she said, throwing her arms up like she was over the whole conversation.

Iris began to cry, and Zack kept a curious eye on us as he walked her back into the bedroom, away from the commotion. As soon as he was out of sight, Mair grabbed me by the collar and pulled me down to eye level with her.

“Now listen here, fy machgen . You’ve got about ten seconds until he comes back out here, so stop with the conniptions and tell me what’s going on.”

I glanced over at the bedroom door, then dropped my voice to a whisper and spoke as quickly and briefly as I could. “We found Elinor. She was still alive in my time, and she had the necklace. She gave it to me. When I came back here, Lee put the necklace on and came with me, but if what Zack is saying is right, then we’ve gotten separated. Lee went back to 1890, and I’m here in–”

“1892,” she said, finishing my train of thought. “Oh, god. How is that even possible?”

“I don’t know,” I said, panicking, and as though she sensed that I was about to start pacing again, she grabbed me by both arms. “I’m going to have to go to Cardiff and find him.”

“Tom, it’s been almost two years. He could be anywhere by now.”

“Well I’ve got to start somewhere,” I whispered. “I was the one who made him come here, Mair, and now I’ve left him alone for all this time. He’s going to hate me.”

“He won’t hate you. You didn’t do it on purpose. Besides,” she added with a shrug, “he’ll have had years now to get over it.”

She grinned as she spoke, trying to ease the tension, but I couldn’t see the funny side. All I could think about was how guilty I felt. What if I never found him again? What if something had happened to him? I wouldn't be able to live with myself .

“Right, how much money have you got?” she asked. I fished the wallet from my pocket and opened it up for her, and she took out a five-pound note and slipped it into her apron. “I’ll get you a wagon,” she said. “But it won’t be until tomorrow. It will get you as far as Gwyn, and he can help you from there. There’s nothing more that you can do for today, Tom, and I know it’s going to drive you mad, but you mustn’t blame yourself. You’ll get nowhere by fretting.”

I knew that she was right, but it didn’t ease my guilt, so I forced a smile in response. “I need some air,” I said, and I pulled my hands from her grip and moved for the door.

“Where will you go?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I should probably call in on Mr and Mrs Hopkin. I can’t come all this way and then rush off to Cardiff without seeing them.”

I reached for the door and stepped out into the lane, and Mair followed quickly behind me and ushered me towards the hedgerow opposite the cottage. The cold winds blew through her aprons and made the loose strands of her hair stand on end, and she wrapped her arms around her body for warmth. Her face had fallen serious, and that was making me nervous again. “Go straight up to the farm,” she said, “Don’t go hanging around the village.”

“What? Why? You still haven’t told me what’s been going on here.”

“You’ll be leaving again tomorrow. You don’t want to be catching the attention of Graham Morgan and raking over old coals. If he knows you’re back in the village, he’ll give you nothing but trouble. Thinking of you, I am. Do as I tell you, and you might be able to go a whole day without getting yourself into trouble.”

She reached for my shoulders and pushed herself onto the tips of her toes to kiss me on the cheek, then brushed me down to make sure I was presentable.

“I really am glad that you’re back, Tom,” she said. “Now go before we both freeze to death.”

She offered a final smile and waved toward the lane, then hurried back inside the cottage, leaving me alone.

I was practically power walking by the time I reached the main road through the village, and I felt sick to my stomach with worry. Any excitement I’d felt about returning had faded away, replaced by anguish over what had become of my brother. I’d spent so long considering my return, but I’d never anticipated bringing Lee with me, and I didn’t think for a second that we could end up separated. How could I be so stupid?

I spotted Mrs Wilkes patrolling the queue for the post office shop, waiting on the daily news and gossip, and the gasp that she let out when she saw me rounding the corner was almost audible from across the street. Despite myself, I couldn’t help but grin in her direction, but I knew that now she had seen me, that I would soon be the talk of the village again. I had no doubt whatsoever that had there been any rumours regarding my responsibility for the death of Arthur Morgan, she would have been the source of them .

And yet, I didn’t care anymore. She and everybody else were welcome to think what they wanted. I had other things to worry about.

I rushed past the row of cottages opposite the church, then past the school, and made a quick ascent up the hill towards the Hopkins farm. Another letter was missing from the sign on the gate, but everything else looked exactly the same as I left it.

I followed the path up to the house, smiling as I passed the chicken coop, amazed that my efforts were still standing, then rounded the corner into the yard at the back of the house until I came to a stop in front of the back door.

I stashed the ring in my pocket, not wanting to have to explain it, then reached for the handle. I paused midway, unsure if it was my place anymore to just walk in unannounced, then raised my fist to knock instead, but left it hanging in mid-air. What was I going to say? How could I face these people again after disappearing on them, after all that they’d done for me? What if they believed that I’d murdered Arthur in cold blood? I should have pressed Mair for a sense of the reaction I might face.

“ A allaf eich helpu? ”

The voice behind me sounded as familiar as if I’d heard it only yesterday, and I turned slowly, my fist still in the air, until the first sight of Mrs Hopkin came into view over my shoulder.

She stood across the yard holding a milk churn in both hands, her hair tied neatly into a bun and an apron covering her to her feet, and as she registered who she was looking at, she dropped the pail to the floor and clasped her mouth .

The milk spilled across the cobbles, and I ran over, setting it upright before it all went to waste, but she stayed frozen to the spot as though she’d seen a ghost.

“You came back,” she whispered through her hands.

I could think of nothing to do but offer a nervous smile, but as she held out her arms to me, I immediately closed the small distance between us and held on to her tightly.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” she said as she pressed her face into my chest.

“I wasn’t too sure, either, actually,” I replied.

She pulled back and brushed at my shoulders, then held my elbows to look me over. Her eyes were filled with tears, but her smile lit up her face as she studied me. Then, without warning, she gave me a sudden clip around the back of the head, causing me to flinch back, laughing.

“You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, Thomas. Get in that house and put a pot on.”

The kitchen, which had always been a hive of activity in the Hopkin house, lay silent and empty as I entered, and every movement I made seemed to echo around the room. I leaned against the countertop and took it all in, hardly able to believe I was back. Though, in a strange way, it felt as though I’d never left.

I reached for one of the pots over the stove as Mrs Hopkin followed me inside, but she batted my hand away and ushered me to the table. “Sit down, I’ll do it,” she said, and she pulled the oven door open, sending a waft of vanilla across the room as she set a tray of biscuits down on the table. “They’re still warm, but they’ll have to do.”

I took my usual seat opposite the stove, and when she’d finished making the tea, she came and sat right next to me, setting it down between us, before taking my hands in hers.

“Where is everyone?” I asked.

“Mr Hopkin and Howell left for the city this morning. They'll be there for a few days until the cattle market is done. Teddy is up in the fields, and I’d imagine Betty is up there with him, and Nan is at work. She’s taken on Nellie’s job at the post office. She hates it, but it keeps her busy and out of trouble. So we’ve got plenty of time for you to do some explaining.”

She wasted no time in getting to the point, and I immediately averted my eyes, unsure how to explain myself. Sensing my unease, she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, and I gave her a nervous smile in return.

“I’m really sorry, Mrs Hopkin,” I said, my voice thickening as my emotions got the better of me. I had no idea how to even begin to explain myself. The whole situation around my disappearance was just so messy. “I never meant to bring any trouble to the farm or to just disappear. I didn’t know what to do, so I just ran. I promise I didn’t murder anyone.”

She smiled at me and let out a soft chuckle as she shook her head. “I know that, you soft mare. It’s a nasty business what happened to that girl, but I count my blessings every day that my Jack is safe and well, at least. ”

Her comment took me aback, and I looked up, surprised. How on Earth could she possibly know that?

“He is?” I asked, and she pursed her lips together into a relieved smile.

“Oh, Tom, we were so worried, what with Elinor's body turning up, but he wrote us a letter.”

She held my hands tightly as she spoke, but I could barely concentrate. I knew that her son, my father, had ended up in the future without ever returning home, so how could she have heard from him? Had he somehow managed to contact her? Had Gwyn or Mair written it to ease her worrying? Was someone just being spiteful?

“It didn’t say much,” she continued, and her smile faded somewhat, “but he told us that he’s well, that he’s working, and that he’ll come home and visit as soon as he’s back from Sydney.”

“Sydney?” I gasped, almost choking on my tea. She nodded enthusiastically, and I forced a smile, glad her worries were eased, but I could think of little else to say except, “I’m glad that he’s alright.”

“So, how long are you staying for?”

“I don’t know yet. I need to find my brother. He came with me and–”

“Thomas!” Betty yelled out as she came through the kitchen door, and I spun in my seat at the sound of her voice.

She rushed over and threw her arms around my neck, and over her shoulder I spotted Teddy kicking the mud off his boots on the doorframe as he entered. In the time that I’d been gone, he’d grown from a boy to a man, and I hardly recognised him at first. Nearly a foot taller, he’d bulked up from labouring on the farm, and his once boyish face was now covered in stubble.

“The wanderer returns. It’s good to see you again, Tom,” he said, reaching out to shake my hand, which I had to snake out from Betty’s waist as she clung onto me. “Didn’t expect to see you again. We all thought you were in jail.”

His mother shot out at him with her teatowel, and he ducked back, grinning.

“How long are you here for?” Betty asked, planting herself in the chair on the other side of me.

She looked well, healthier than when I’d left, though still thinner than she used to be. Her breathing still seemed laboured, though, a lingering effect of the diphtheria that had swept through the house a few years previously.

“I was actually thinking of paying Nellie a visit,” I announced. “I hear she’s moved away, and it will be nice to catch up with her and Gethin. And Gwyn. I’ve given Mair five pounds to arrange a carriage to take me tomorrow.”

“ pounds?” Mrs Hopkin cried out. “Is it made of gold?”

I shrugged, unsure what the going rate would even be, and she poured extra tea into her cup to get over the shock.

“Bryncoed is a long way by carriage,” Betty added. “It will take a few days.”

I hadn’t bargained for that. I’d forgotten how slowly everything moved in these times. “Can’t I go by train?”

“There’s not a direct route,” Teddy said, leaning over his sister and picking up a cup of tea from the table. “You’d have to head north, then cross into England and switch trains to go back down south. By the time you get to Cardiff and then get a carriage to Nellie, you’d be just as well doing one straight journey by horse.”

“Mrs Hopkin, is it ok if I stay the night?” I asked, hoping she wouldn’t mind me imposing.

“You stay for as long as you need, my love. You’re always welcome here. You know that.”

“Even if you did murder Arthur Morgan,” Teddy joked. “No, especially if you murdered Arthur Morgan.”

His mother shot him another disapproving stare, which only increased his laughter, and he gave me a playful jab to the arm, which hurt more than I’d expected it to.

“I didn’t, by the way,” I said, glancing around at everyone. “Kill him, I mean.”

“We know. And we never thought you did,” Mrs Hopkin said, giving her son another roll of her eyes.

For the next hour, I told them all how I’d run off after my altercation with Arthur, afraid of being framed and bringing trouble to the farm, and that I’d only recently heard that my name had been cleared or I would have come back sooner. It was a flimsy excuse, but they either accepted it or didn’t care, and they didn’t press me for any more details, which I was glad of.

“Right, you lot,” Mrs Hopkin said when I’d finished recounting my tale. “None of you are eating at my table until you’ve cleaned yourselves up. Out with you. ”

We filed through the kitchen towards the stairs, and I turned in the doorway for a moment to watch as she busied herself around the stove. “I’m really glad to be back,” I said when she looked up to find me staring.

“We’re glad to have you,” she replied with a smile, then with a wave of her hand, she shooed me away to get ready for dinner.

The following morning, I was awoken by a commotion in the kitchen below. Unlike my days of working the farm, where I’d rise before the sun had even come up, I’d been left to sleep until well into the morning. My concern for Lee’s whereabouts, however, had led to a restless night, so by the time the noise from downstairs had woken me, it felt like I’d only just managed to drop off.

Teddy, always a light sleeper, had distracted me for much of the night, asking questions about my time away and filling me in on what I’d missed, including that he was now courting an Irish girl called Annie, whose family had moved to the village and taken over the farm down past the church. He was taking things slowly, he assured me, but his dreamy, faraway gaze whenever he spoke of her made it obvious that he’d fallen head over heels.

Mrs Hopkin, he said, had become so worried that the girl might end up in the family way that she was already trying to convince her son to propose. He insisted that she was being premature in her concerns but that if things stayed on course, then he would propose marriage once lambing season was over. A notion so romantic that she would surely feel swept off her feet.

The shouting from downstairs continued as I got ready, and by the time I reached the kitchen, it was clear that it was Betty and Mrs Hopkin who were arguing. What I hadn’t expected, however, was being pulled into the middle of it as soon as I walked through the door.

“Will you tell that girl that she is being a fool?” Mrs Hopkin said as she sat in my usual spot at the table.

Betty was standing opposite her, leaning on the back of a chair, and I took the seat usually reserved for Mrs Hopkin at the bottom of the table, sitting like an umpire between them. I was unsure why she was being a fool or why I should agree, so instead, I reached for some bread and began buttering it, hoping I would get some more information and time to eat before I’d have to speak up.

“I’m eighteen years old. You can’t stop me,” Betty argued, though her whining made her sound much younger.

“I don’t want to stop you, you silly girl. I just want you to take some time to think. You need to look after your health. It’s a long trip.”

“Trip?” I asked, finally bringing myself into the conversation.

“She wants to go with you to Bryncoed to stay with Nellie for a few weeks, but she hasn’t even asked if there’s room. And even if there is, travelling in a carriage for days, in this cold air, will be no good for her. ”

“I’ll be fine, I’ve already told you. And if I become unwell, I’ll have Nellie to look after me. You don’t mind, do you, Tom?”

They both turned to me, and I froze with half a slice of loaf in my mouth, too afraid to chew or answer. In theory, I didn’t mind having Betty come along. A travel companion would alleviate the boredom, and Betty and I had always gotten along well, but I was also aware of how ill she’d been and how strenuous simple things could be for her. If she took ill along the way, I’d have no idea how to help.

“And what about your father?” Mrs Hopkin spoke up, saving me from having to pick a side. “He won’t be back for days. What do you suppose I tell him when he returns and finds you gone?”

“I’d be surprised if he even notices,” Betty snarked before changing tack again. “Please, Mama. I need this. I’m no use here. You know that. Let me go and see something new while I still can.”

She may have been old enough to make her own decisions, but I knew she wouldn’t go against her mother’s wishes, and she let the room fall silent while Mrs Hopkin considered her request.

Mrs Hopkin looked at me, then back to her daughter, before finally relaxing her shoulders and letting out a sigh. “Well, there’s no changing your mind, is there?” she said, and Betty began to smile. “If it’s ok with Tom, then I suppose it’s ok with me.”

Betty moved around the table and threw her arms around her mother, kissing her cheek. “Thank you, thank you.”

“I’m warning you, Elizabeth, if I hear you’ve so much as sneezed on this trip, I’ll march myself right down to that valley and drag you back here myself. Do you hear?”

Betty didn’t respond, just rushed from the room to get her things ready, leaving me and her mother alone.

“You’ll look after her, won’t you? I’ll be worried sick the whole time.”

“She’ll be fine,” I said, smiling in an attempt to reassure her. “We’ll be with Nellie in no time, and she will get plenty of rest and fresh air.”

“Fresh air? Have you seen what comes out of those mines? It’ll be a wonder if you can see, let alone breathe. I don’t want to hold her back, Tom. She’s old enough to choose for herself, I just don’t want to lose her.”

I reached over the table and put my hand on hers. “You won’t. She will be fine. A few weeks in a big town and she’ll be itching to come home for some peace, I’m sure.”

Our carriage arrived outside the pub thirty minutes late, leaving us shivering in the snow. Mair had come down to see us off, leaving Zack at home with the baby, and Teddy had brought his sister's bags, accompanied by their mother, who looked like she might change her mind at any moment and forbid Betty from leaving.

“You better write as soon as you get there,” Mrs Hopkin said, already beginning to cry. “I want to know you’re safe. I’ll not sleep until I hear from you.”

“I will,” Betty said, giving her mother a final kiss before climbing into the carriage. “And I’ll be home again before you know it. ”

I loaded my small bag into the back, and Teddy extended his hand for me to shake. When I grabbed it, he pulled me in for a hug and tapped me on the shoulder. “Don’t you stay away so long this time,” he said. “We’ve always got work for you on the farm.”

“Give this to Gwyn for me,” Mair said, handing me a letter. “It’ll save me a penny.” I took it from her and brought her in for a hug, sad to be leaving again so soon after returning, but anxious to find my brother and see Gwyn again after so long.

With a final hug for Mrs Hopkin, I climbed aboard the carriage and pulled the door shut. It was nicer inside than I’d expected, with red velvety seats and curtains over the windows, which Betty immediately opened to stick her head out of.

Teddy put an arm around his mother as the carriage began to move forward, and with a final wave to the crowd, we were on our way to South Wales.