Page 2 of Echoes on the Wind (Borrowed Time #2)

The hot shower had fogged up the bathroom mirror, and I ran my hand across it, creating a damp, blurry gap where I could just about make out my reflection. Days of stubble had grown into a scraggly beard, and I reached for the razor, contemplating removing it. There was a time when I wouldn’t leave the house without a fresh shave, but these days, having a beard felt like an extra layer of armour, and it did well to hide the scar that ran from my top lip to my nose, a lasting reminder of the torture I suffered at the hands of Arthur Morgan.

I put the razor back and ran my hands through my hair, brushing it away from my forehead into a neater style. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d got it cut. Nothing about me felt presentable anymore, and I eyed the scissors in the holder on the windowsill.

“I’m making breakfast.”

The sound of Lee calling up the stairs halted me before I could make a disaster of my hair, and I grabbed my towel from the hook on the door, tied it around my waist and stepped out onto the landing .

“I’ll be down in a minute,” I called back, ducking into my bedroom to grab something to wear.

As I headed for my wardrobe, my gaze drifted to the window and I froze. At the foot of the driveway, staring up at the house, was the man in black who’d been watching me yesterday.

Without thinking, I bolted through the door and across the landing. “Lee, he’s back. The man is back,” I yelled as I dashed down the stairs, and by the time I was at the bottom, Lee was already in the hallway, alarmed by my calls.

“Who’s back?” he asked, his voice panicked as he rushed towards me. “Tom?”

I raced straight past him and threw the front door open with such force that it swung back and crashed into the antique table that sat beside it, but as I ran barefoot onto the gravel driveway that curved up in front of the house, the man was nowhere to be seen.

“Tom, get back inside,” Lee called from the doorway, but I ignored his pleas and ran to the gate, searching up and down the street to find him.

“He was here, Lee,” I called back. “I saw him. I definitely saw him.”

For a few more seconds I stood in the rain and stared, fists clenched, waiting for him to jump out at me. There was no sign of him, but the hairs all over my body felt like they were standing on end, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was out there somewhere, watching me.

“Tom.”

Lee put his hand on my back, causing me to jump, and I turned to him, chest heaving and fists ready. He stepped back, startled by my reaction, and held his hands up in defence.

“Don’t bloody do that,” I scolded.

“There’s nobody out here. Come back inside.”

“I’m not imagining it,” I said, annoyed by the pitiful look he was giving me as he tried to usher me towards the house.

“I never said that. But whoever it is, he’s gone now, and you can’t just go running around the street in nothing but a towel. Go and finish getting ready, and then come and eat.”

He kept a guiding hand on my back the whole way up the drive, as though he thought I might turn and bolt again, and left it there until I was at the foot of the staircase, with the door firmly closed.

“If I see him again, I’m calling the police,” I said defiantly, stomping up the stairs. “I mean it.”

By the time I came back down, dressed and ready for the long drive to Brighton, the smell of toast had filled the house, and I could hear Lee singing along to the radio in the kitchen.

“All set?” he asked as I pushed through the door and took a seat at the table.

I nodded, and he put a plate of food down that far outsized my appetite, then watched me until I ate something from it.

“Why don’t you come with me today?”

“I can’t,” he replied, throwing a tea towel over his shoulder and wiping up the mess he’d made on the counter. “I’ve got to go into the office and finish up those contracts. Can you not wait until tomorrow? ”

He didn’t even look up at me as he asked. He knew what my answer would be.

“ years ago, you would have been the one telling me to sack off the boring stuff to go on an adventure.”

“Yeah, well, two years ago I was so drunk every day that I’d have been seeing three of you, and I’d have agreed to anything.” He stopped what he was doing and leaned on the counter, finally bringing his gaze to me. “Besides, it's a three-hour drive, and she might be the wrong Elinor. Or not there anymore. Or dead! You’re putting a lot on faith here, Tom.”

“It’s been eighteen months, and I’ve come up with nothing, Lee. Faith is all I’ve got.” I looked at the clock on the cooker and rammed the last of the toast into my mouth, then downed the lukewarm mug of coffee I’d been ignoring. “I better get going.”

“Will you be back for dinner?”

“That depends,” I said with a grin.

“On what?”

“On if she knows a way to send me back through time for a bowl of Mair’s watery stew.”

He rolled his eyes at me as I brushed the crumbs off my t-shirt and headed for the front door. “Tom,” he called from behind me, and I turned to look at him as he came into the hallway from the kitchen. “If you disappear again without so much as a word, I’ll never forgive you.”

His face was solemn as we stared at each other across the hallway, an empty dish in his hand to stop his fingers fidgeting, and I walked back towards him and rested a hand on his shoulder .

We’d talked almost daily about my intention to return to the past and to Gwyn, but we always stopped short of admitting that my departure would mean we’d be separated again. We’d spent our lives being inseparable, even when those lives had led us down different paths, and being away from him was the hardest part about being stranded in Wales. Since my return, he’d never once asked me to remain behind for him, but in that moment, his eyes were saying everything.

I pursed my lips into a flat smile and brought my hand up to cup the back of his neck. “I would never. I promise. Not intentionally.”

He offered me a tentative smile and I pushed my forehead against his, then he pulled away and ducked back into the kitchen without a word.

I stared at the closed door for a moment, a feeling of guilt beginning to creep over me, but I pushed it down again, grabbed my bag and headed for the car, hoping that I would be able to keep my promise to him.

I hadn’t even put the key into the ignition before I heard footsteps coming along the gravel, and as I looked into the rearview mirror, I caught sight of him banging his hand on the boot before coming around to the passenger door.

“Work can wait,” he said, climbing in beside me and pulling on his seatbelt. He pushed his foot up onto the dashboard, keeping his eyes forward, but I could see enough of his face to know he was unsure if he was doing the right thing. “Come on,” he added, tapping the steering wheel, “before I change my mind. ”

Traffic wasn’t on our side, and what was supposed to be a three-hour journey took us nearly five. Lee had tried along the way to initiate conversation, but I offered little in return. My mind was too busy working overtime. He’d told me over and over not to get my hopes up, that there were too many ways that this could end in disappointment, but I could feel myself pinning everything on this trip, and I silently prayed that I would find Elinor still alive, and that she could give me some answers.

When we finally arrived at our destination, I pulled the letter we’d found from my pocket and checked the address again, just to be sure. I’d already read it a dozen times and memorised every detail, so I knew as soon as I saw the street sign that we were in the right place, but where I’d expected to see houses, stood a large residential building overlooking the sea, and a sign that said ‘ Sunnydale Care Home’ .

Sensing my anxiety, Lee put his hand on my knee, forcing my unconscious bobbing of it to stop. “Are you ready for this?” he asked, turning in his seat to face me.

I stared at my reflection in the rearview mirror and let out a long, loud breath before turning to face him. My heart thumped against my chest as I contemplated the disappointment I might face. Months of research had gotten me nowhere, and I was terrified that this might be another dead end.

“It’s scary to feel so close to something that could ultimately come to nothing,” I admitted. “All this time, I’ve thought of nothing but finding a way back to Cwm Newydd. Now, if Elinor is in there, it feels like I might be as close as I’ll ever be, but I could still end up with no answers. It’s a lot, you know? Does that make sense?”

He gave my knee a squeeze as he pursed his lips into a sort of downward grin. “You might not find what you’re looking for today, but you won’t be any worse off than you were yesterday. Just remember that. Now go, get it done before you make yourself sick. I’ll be here if you need anything.”

“You’re not coming in? But you came all this way.”

“I came all this way for you , and I’m here for you, but you need to do this bit on your own.”

With a nod of my head, I grabbed my bag from the back seat and got out of the car. The salty sea air was filled with the smell of chips, and while the sun was giving respite from the weeks of rain we’d been having, the strong winds blowing in off the ocean were threatening to topple over anyone not steady on their feet.

I brought a hand to my eyes to block out the glare of the sun and stared up at the building. Its whitewashed walls stood in stark contrast to the blue-grey water of the sea that it stood in front of, and it looked more like a boutique hotel than a care home, with its deco design and curved windows giving it an air of vintage glamour.

I clutched the bag tightly at my shoulder and gave a cursory glance up and down the street, then with a final look back at my brother, I walked up the steps to the big double doors that led inside.

I pushed my way into a well-lit reception area, silently praying that the woman I was looking for was still living there, and wandered slowly towards a desk that sat in front of a huge window overlooking the ocean. I offered a warm smile to the woman who sat there typing on the computer, hoping a friendly demeanour would aid my quest to get further inside, and she stopped what she was doing to watch my approach.

“Hi, I’m here to see my aunt Elinor. Elinor Roberts.” I hoped that pretending to be family would add some legitimacy to my visit, so I lied right off the bat about my connection to her, hoping they wouldn’t find it strange that I’d never visited before. “I haven't seen her in a long time,” I added. “I’ve been living out of the country.”

The receptionist eyed me curiously but continued to smile as she began to look at some papers on the desk in front of her. She periodically stared up at me as she flicked from page to page, the curve of her lips wavering as she continued to try and hold her smile, and then she swivelled in her seat, typing something into the computer, before tapping a finger against her chin and giving me a disappointed glance.

“I don’t see anything booked in, I’m afraid.” My heart sank a little, but she wasn’t telling me that Elinor didn’t live there, so I took that as a good sign.

On the long journey from home, I’d spent so much time thinking about all the questions that I would ask Elinor that it didn’t occur to me to think up lies to tell the staff, so I was left with no option but to think on my feet and hope that I was convincing.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that I had to book. I’m flying back out of London this evening, and I’d love to see her before I go. I don’t know when I will be back in the country to get another chance. ”

She curled her lips as she gave me a sympathetic smile, then she leaned in and whispered, “I’ll see what I can do.”

I tried my best to act as naturally as I could while she typed on her keyboard, but I struggled to hide the anxiety and excitement that was going to war inside me, and I’m sure my smile turned into more of a grimace as I waited. A moment later, she picked up the phone at her desk and called through to another department, turning the chair away as she spoke, leaving me struggling to hear what she was saying. I feared that she might be calling security, and for a second, I contemplated running from the building and driving away, but when she hung up the phone, she smiled and told me to follow her, and I knew I couldn’t back out now that I’d come this far.

“She’s just along here in the common room,” she said, guiding me down a corridor away from the main foyer. The place was brightly lit and airy, and I could see right out across the ocean through the huge windows as we walked. “I’m afraid your aunt doesn’t talk much these days. She gets confused a lot.”

My heart sank as I realised she might not have enough memory to give me any of the information that I needed. “How old is she now?” I asked.

“Ninety-four.”

I came to an immediate halt in the corridor, leaving the receptionist to carry on a few steps ahead. “I’m sorry, what? That’s not possible.” She turned and looked at me with confusion as I tried to hold it together and digest what she’d just told me. “Sorry,” I said, trying to cover for myself, “I, erm, just forgot how much can change when you don’t see someone for so long. You don’t really think about them getting older, do you?”

She raised an eyebrow, and I wasn’t sure she was quite buying it, but she continued to walk on without questioning my comments. My pace, however, slowed down as I started following her again, trying to do the maths in my head.

While I was in Wales, Mrs Hopkin had told me that Elinor was twenty-one and my father was twenty-three. But if my dad were still alive, he’d only just have turned sixty-six. There was no way that the Elinor I was looking for could be so old. My heart sank as I began to realise that I’d built my hopes up over the wrong person, and I dragged my heels, wondering if I should just turn around and leave.

“She’ll be glad of the company,” the receptionist said, as though she could sense my sudden hesitancy. “She doesn’t get many visitors these days.”

She pushed open the door at the end of the corridor and leaned her back against it, leaving just enough room for me to squeeze past her through the frame. “There you go,” she said. “If there’s anything you need, Max is right there.”

She indicated to an orderly sitting behind a glass screen to the side of the room, who looked up at the mention of his name and gave us a wave, and then, without another word, she ducked back into the corridor we’d come from, leaving the door to swing closed behind her.

The room I found myself in was a large common room, and though there were chairs and tables that could sit at least 40 people, a big TV surrounded by comfy looking armchairs, and even a table-tennis table, the room was silent and empty except for one other person, giving it an eerie, abandoned feeling.

In the furthest corner of the room, looking out over the ocean through a large window that curved around a corner from one wall to the other, were two high-backed armchairs decorated in a flowery pattern that wouldn’t have looked out of place in any old lady’s sitting room. The chair to the right was empty, but just poking up from the top of the left one, I could see a thick head of curly, white hair.

My stomach was in knots as I slowly made my way over, and I grabbed the straps of my backpack to stop my hands from shaking.

In the reflection of the window, I could see an old woman smiling out at the sea, her hands in her lap, just watching the day go by. Not wanting to startle her, I dragged my feet a little and let out a cough to let her know I was approaching, but she didn’t move a muscle.

“Hello,” I said, coming up beside the empty chair and smiling down at her. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

She remained still, her eyes not even moving to acknowledge my presence, and if it weren’t for the rise and fall of her chest, I’d have seriously considered whether she was even still alive. I sat beside her and took her in for a few seconds, leaving a silence hanging between us.

Even though she showed every sign of advancing age, you could tell she had been a beautiful woman. When I’d realised that Sunnydale was a nursing home, I’d imagined that she would be laid up in bed in a nightgown, but she looked immaculate from head to toe, with her hair perfectly styled and her clothes fresh and pressed, fitting her still great figure as though they’d been tailored specifically for her. I looked for signs of a wedding ring, but she wore no jewellery except for a string of pearls around her neck that rested atop her blouse.

I was desperate to get straight to the questions I’d been rehearsing in my head, but I decided to start with something easy. “My name is Tom,” I said, easing my way into the conversation. “Are you Elinor Lewis?”

Neither my name nor hers garnered any reaction, and I bit on my top lip as my brain raced for something else to say. I leaned in on the arm of the chair, closing the distance between us slightly and sucked in a large breath before trying again.

“I believe you were a friend of my father, John Jacob? Or perhaps you knew him as Jack Hopkin?”

Any hope that my father’s name would bring about some stirring in her was dashed when she remained as frozen as before, and I rubbed at my forehead, willing myself to remain patient.

“You see, I think you might be from the same place as him. In Wales. Is that right?”

Still nothing.

“I just wanted to ask you some questions. Are you able to talk?”

I was starting to feel frustrated, and I dragged my hands down my forehead as all the hope I’d been clinging onto began to fade. There I was, closer than I had ever been to anything tangible from my time in Wales, and she was mute. Where would that leave me?

I looked over my shoulder towards Max in his booth, and when I could see that his attention was elsewhere, I turned back to the woman before me, pulled myself to the edge of the seat, and leaned in even closer, pushing my hand out towards her face.

“Have you ever seen this before, Elinor?” I bent my knuckles, showing off the ring with the big red stone that I’d worn every day since my return, and for a second, there was something different about her, just the slightest movement of her eyes as she cast them sideward towards my hand. “You recognise it, don’t you?”

Her head slowly turned towards me, and her smile widened as she took in my features, seemingly more interested in me than the ring, as though she’d only just realised I was even there.

“You came back,” she said, and her eyes glistened as she smiled at me, before she cast them down to the ring. “What are you doing with that old thing?” Her voice was soft but strong, but, like my father, she showed no sign of a Welsh accent.

“It was my dad’s. Do you remember him? His name was Jack Hopkin.”

She smiled again as she thought about my words, then turned her attention back to the ocean. “My Jack,” she said, then she let out a long sigh as her lips edged downwards. “It was never to be.”

A look of regret washed over her, and she slowly brought her hand up to her chest, taking hold of her pearls and twisting them between her fingers. “You were so young when I last saw you.”

“We’ve met before?” I asked.

She gave a slight nod, but as I was about to ask her to elaborate, Max let out an exaggerated cough from his booth, and when I turned to look at him, he tapped on his watch, indicating that my time was nearly up.

I looked back to Elinor and shifted in my seat. She seemed to have all the time in the world to sit with her memories, but I was beginning to panic that I’d be asked to leave before I could get a chance to learn anything. “Elinor, I need to know, please. How does the ring work?”

“Is Jack coming to see me?” she asked, her face filled with hope. “It’s been such a long time.”

I put my hand on her knee and brought my voice as soft and low as I could, hoping the news wouldn’t upset her too much. “I’m afraid he passed away. It was a little over two years ago.” She continued to gaze out of the window, not acknowledging the news, and I quickly turned my attention back to the matter at hand. “Elinor, the ring. Do you know how it works?”

“Your father used to ask me the same thing. Always trying to go backwards, that man. Oh, it made him grouchy, but he never could work it out.”

Suddenly, it felt like we might be getting somewhere, and I shuffled the chair across the carpet a bit, trying to get into her eyeline. “Didn’t you want to go back?”

“Back where, darling?”

“Home. To Wales.”

She turned to me again and put her hand on mine, which was still resting on her knee. “Is Jack coming to see me?”

My heart hurt for her in her confusion, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her of his death again. “Not today, Elinor. He’s working.”

“That man works too much. ”

“Please, Elinor,” I begged, burying my head into my hands and leaning on the arm of the chair. I was trying hard to keep my tone even, but I could hear the frustration in my voice as I spoke. “Is there anything you can tell me about the ring?”

“Darling boy,” she said, bringing her hand to my shoulder as I stared down at the carpet. “What have I told you about your temper? You won’t solve anything by getting angry, Jack.”

I looked up into her kind eyes, and I felt like I could cry. I wanted so badly to be able to leave with more information than I arrived with, but I’d gotten there too late. Her mind just wasn’t where either of us needed it to be.

Not wanting to push her any further, I relaxed back into the seat and stared out over the sea with her, watching the tide crash against the rocks as I contemplated where I would go from here. I was no worse off than I had been before I’d found her, but I’d allowed my feelings to run away with themselves and convinced myself that she would hold the answers that I needed.

When I heard the orderly approaching, I quickly turned my head away and wiped away the tear that had begun to creep its way down my cheek.

“I’m afraid that’s enough for today,” he said as he came to a stop between our chairs. “It’s time for Elinor’s lunch.”

I stood up, feeling defeated, and stared down at Elinor as she gazed off into the distance. “Thank you for chatting with me. I hope I can see you again soon. ”

The orderly put his hand on my shoulder and began to guide me away, but before we’d taken more than a few steps, Elinor called out from behind us.

“Wait a moment.”

I spun on the spot, getting my hopes up once more that she may tell me something to make the trip worth it, and she was staring back at me over the side of her seat.

I inched closer as she reached up behind her neck, seemingly trying to unclasp her necklace, but when her hands came forward again, it wasn’t her pearls that came loose, but a small silver chain that had been hidden beneath her blouse.

I took another tentative step, not daring to hope that what I thought I’d seen was real. She clasped her hand tight, hiding the contents of her palm from my view, but held her arm out towards me over the side of the chair, beckoning me closer.

I instinctively reached out, putting my palm under hers.

“Please, give this to your father for me,” she said, and as soon as the contents passed from her hand to mine, she clasped my fingers closed around it and held onto me tightly. “They’re meant to be together. And tell him…” she paused for a moment, and her eyes glazed over. “Tell him that I’m sorry, and that I wish he would come and see me just one more time.”

We stared at each other, our hands connected, for just the briefest of moments before she turned her gaze back to the window as though she had never moved at all. The orderly coughed again, but I was frozen to the spot. I looked down at my hand and slowly released my fingers, bringing her gift to me into view for the first time.

The long silver chain looked thin and delicate as it snaked around my trembling palm, and at the end of it, set into the same dull metal as my ring, sat an oddly shaped red stone.

“Oh my god,” I whispered as the orderly took a firmer grip on my arm and began pulling me away. “Thank you, Elinor,” I called out, but she didn’t acknowledge me again.

I tried to act inconspicuously as I passed through the foyer again, casting a smile towards the receptionist who had been so helpful, but as soon as I was through the front door, I bolted down the steps and jumped into the car, locking the doors as soon as I was inside.

Lee was sitting with his feet up on the dashboard and an arm hanging out the window clutching a cigarette, but he sprang upright upon my hasty return to the car. “What’s wrong? What’s the rush?”

I didn’t say a word. I was too stunned. I just turned the key in the ignition and sped off down the road, terrified that at any moment someone might come rushing out of the building to demand I hand the necklace back.

“Tom, talk to me,” he said, twisting in his seat as I drove. “Was it her? Was it the right woman? What did she say?”

When I felt like I was far enough away, I pulled over to the side of the road and slammed the brakes on. My mind was racing, and my heart was working overtime, and when I finally unclutched my hand from the wheel, I reached into my breast pocket and pulled out the necklace, gripping it at the clasp and letting it swing in the air between my brother and me.

“She still had it,” I whispered, and though my eyes stayed trained on the red stone that hung at the bottom of the chain, I could see the expression of disbelief on Lee’s face.

“So it was her. What did she say?”

“Hardly anything. She said she’d met me before, then got confused about Dad being dead. I think for a moment that she thought I was Dad, and then… she gave me this to give to him.”

I took off the ring and held both pieces of jewellery in my palm, nudging at them with my index finger. There was no flaw in the stone on the necklace, as there was in the ring, but the colouring seemed slightly off. Where mine was pure red throughout, hers seemed to have a slightly orange tint near the bottom.

“She said they should be together.”

Lee took the necklace from me and held it up close to his face, examining it. “So how does it work? Did she tell you what you need to do?”

My smile faded a bit at the question. “We didn’t get that far. I had to leave. I’m not sure she even knows, though. She said that Dad always used to ask the same question. That he was always looking back, or something.”

“So what do you do now?”

I slipped the ring back onto my finger and leaned back in my seat. I had no idea, but having the necklace meant I had double the chance of getting back to Gwyn, and that’s what I needed to focus on.