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A s tired as I am, I can’t sleep. All I can think about is Claire sharing with me that she wishes I were her first.

I wish I had been too.

And I wish that she’d been mine.

True, I wasn’t skilled like I am now. But despite what I told her, I know I would have made it better for her than the stupid douche who took her virginity. I’m sure of that because I cared about Claire back then.

“You still care about her now,” I whisper out loud.

Yeah, yeah, I do.

But I don’t want to fuck this up.

What we have is just so good. I can’t lose her as my friend.

I lost her once.

I can’t lose her again.

So things must remain as they are, no matter where my heart is pulling me.

This is my last thought before I doze off.

That weekend we have a home game on Friday, then a rare day off on Saturday. No practice, no drills, nothing. Because of the downtime, Lennox calls me to let me know he’s decided to host a small gathering at his house this evening. There will be some appetizers and drinks and a chance to chill out before we go on the road for some games next week.

I tell him, “I’m in.”

“What about Claire?” he asks.

“I’m sure she’ll want to come too.”

But after we disconnect, I figure I better make sure of that.

I seek her out, finding her in the laundry room.

After filling her in on the party details, I lean on the door frame and ask, “So, what do you think? Do you want to go?”

“I do, but…” she says, sighing as she takes out a bunch of towels from the dryer and plops them on the top. She then turns to face me. “Unfortunately, I already made plans with Madison to go see a movie with her tonight.”

Ugh.

I am beyond disappointed.

But then I have an idea. “How about if you ask Madison if she’d like to come to the party with us instead?”

Claire laughs. “Oh, I’m sure she would. But I thought the idea was to keep her and Lennox far, far apart?”

“It was,” I concede, chuckling. “And it still is. But how much can go wrong in one night? I mean, Lennox is hosting the party. It’s not like he can sneak off with her and do God knows what.”

“Ha,” Claire barks out. “Clearly, you haven’t seen Madison in action.”

I sigh resignedly that Claire’s sticking with her movie plans with her friend.

But then she holds up a hand and says, “With all that in mind, what’s to say I can’t keep her occupied? I’ll just make sure we stick together at all times.”

I raise a hopeful brow. “Does that mean you’ll go?”

“Yeah, I will. And if she’s up for joining us, which I’m sure she will be, I’ll have Madison come over to the house. That way we can drive her over to Lennox’s, meaning she’ll have to leave when we do.”

I nod approvingly. “Smart plan,” I say. “I like it.”

I start to walk away, but then Claire says, “Oh, crap. There is one more thing I forgot to tell you about.”

Stepping back into the laundry room, I ask, “Yeah? What’s that?”

She leans back on the dryer. “I have a check for the children’s hospital from the foundation we created, and I’m dropping it off on Monday afternoon. Anyway, they asked if you could come with me. They said it would be nice if we could stop in some of the rooms and visit the kids.”

We’re not leaving for our road trip until Tuesday, so I say, “Sure. I’d love that. I’ll bring along some Bears merchandise too. I’ll sign whatever we give out.”

Excited, Claire replies, “That would be awesome.”

“Then consider it done.”

We high-five, and she says, “We make such a good team.”

“We do,” I agree. “We really fucking do.”

Lennox’s gathering is a blast. More players than he anticipated show up, and it becomes more of a bona fide full-on party.

That’s okay; it’s a good time.

And, so far, Claire and I have done a great job of keeping Lennox and Madison apart.

It hasn’t been easy, though. Madison has on a slinky shimmery gold dress that is shockingly short, and I’ve caught Lennox checking her out a number of times.

That’s no surprise. The girl looks good. But she’s nowhere near as amazingly hot as Claire is.

Okay, maybe I’m biased. But fuck, my pretend wife is wearing a formfitting sparkly red dress and shiny black heels. Though her outfit isn’t quite as short as Madison’s, it still shows off her long, lean legs and hot-as-hell body to perfection.

Honestly, it’s been hard for me to keep my eyes off of her.

And I’m not the only one.

Some of my teammates have taken notice of Claire too. But as soon as they catch me glaring at them, they quickly avert their eyes.

Yeah, smart move.

I know Claire’s not really my wife in all aspects of the word, but damn, there are times like these when I wish she was.

Oh, who am I kidding?

It’s not just times like these.

It’s all the damn time these days.

I love her, of course, and have for years. But this is more. I think I’ve fallen in love with her.

No, I know I have.

I love Claire.

Man, I am so fucked.