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C aitria slept little that night. Anger burned deep in her gut, but so did embarrassment. She could clearly see how His Grace had formed his opinion of her. She’d swum virtually naked and then gone to the beach the next day when he’d asked.

She’d gone because… she couldn’t stay away from him. Why were woman swayed by a handsome face and charming smile? She’d almost made a terrible mistake.

Due to lack of sleep, she was late down to breakfast that morning. Ava-Marie had just finished eating. “Auntie Caitria,” she cried at her entrance. “Can we go to the sea today?”

Caitria wasn’t her auntie, but as she was the girl’s mother’s cousin, it was close enough. “If the weather is good.”

Courtney joined the conversation. “That’s a wonderful idea. We could all go.”

As long as it wasn’t his beach… “I will finish eating quickly and then we can go. We will want to get there before it becomes too hot.”

Ava-Marie hooped with joy. “I’ll go tell Dai—Father,” and she scooted out the door.

Caitria loved that Courtney didn’t scold Ava-Marie for falling into her Irish brogue every now and then.

Even Lucien slipped occasionally. He’d spoken nothing but Gaelic for five years, though now, you’d never guess that Lucien could even speak Gaelic.

His proper English accent fitted him better in his role as viscount.

“You look tired, Caitria. Are you feeling well?”

Trust Courtney to notice. “I’m fine. I couldn’t sleep. Must be the new bed.”

“Is it uncomfortable? I’m sure we could find another mattress.”

She smiled at Courtney. “It’s fine, thank you. Thank you for all your kindness.”

“Tosh. You’re family. In fact, we’ve been invited to His Grace’s house for dinner tonight. You might wish to rest this afternoon before we go.”

Her head snapped up. “Oh, I couldn’t possibly go. I mean…”

Courtney frowned and put her teacup down. “Why couldn’t you go? You’re part of this family.”

She could feel her face heating. How could she sit and dine with a man who offered to make her his mistress? “I wouldn’t know how to act or what to say…”

“You’ll never get over this fear if you never attend any functions.

This is a small gathering, and it will help Lucien, knowing you’re there.

He never seems to feel out of his depth when you are present.

You helped him face the upheaval Ava’s betrayal caused and bridged his two worlds.

You love his daughter as if she were your own. He doesn’t forget what he owes you.”

That was a low blow. Courtney knew she’d do anything for Lucien because he allowed her to accompany them to England and stay with the little girl she’d come to think of as her own. “How will you explain my presence?”

Courtney sat back, looking confused. “That you are Lucien’s first wife’s family. He is not ashamed of his time in Ireland. He loved Ava and mourned her death. Nor is he ashamed of you or Ava-Marie.”

He’d be ashamed if he learned that she’d been swimming virtually naked with His Grace. She stood. “I’ll attend because of Lucien, but don’t blame me if it’s a disaster. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll organize the things we need for Ava-Marie’s trip to the sea.”

“Nonsense. Sit back down and eat. I’ll organize it all with Ava-Marie’s nanny, and we shall meet you outside in about an hour.”

She waited for Courtney to leave before letting out a sigh. She was becoming lost in no-man’s-land once again. Ava-Marie had a nanny now, so where did that leave her? A charity case for Lucien?

Lady Tiffany, one of Courtney’s friends, was helping her invest some of the pin money Lucien gave her.

A group of Tiffany’s society women friends had their own investment club called The Sisterhood, and Caitria was hoping to save enough money to buy the cottage Lucien and Ava owned in Malahide, near Dublin.

Then she wouldn’t have to worry about money ever again.

But if she were truthful, she didn’t want to go back to that life, especially without the protection of a man. She was going soft. She liked being waited on. She liked having a warm comfortable bed, clean clothes, and delicious food made for her.

She really should think about leaving before she couldn’t bring herself to do so.

Lady Lauren, Lucien’s sister, said she could help Caitria get a job as a nanny.

But Lucien wouldn’t hear of it. Yet, she’d fit in better as a nanny than trying to be a lady.

While her accent had improved to where most shopkeepers thought her of a higher social standing, in moments of stress the brogue popped out.

She felt a headache coming on, but she didn’t want to disappoint Ava-Marie. Perhaps she should spend the summer here with her “family” before making any decisions. Take her time and think about what she wanted out of her life moving forward.

Later, as she held Ava-Marie’s hand as they walked down to the beach—a beach which wasn’t their beach—a worrisome thought entered her head.

Her heart told her she wanted Alexander.

That thought alone should make her flee, but when Ava-Marie smiled up at her, she realized she didn’t want to leave this little girl, either. She’d virtually raised her, and the idea of living in Ireland while Ava-Marie lived in England was unbearable. They would never see each other.

And that would truly break her heart.