Page 45 of Duke of Eccess (Seven Dukes of Sin #4)
Temperance looked speechless for a moment, and her eyes glittered with excitement.
Octavius’s back straightened with pride for her. Of course she would be accepted by the intelligent wives of his best friends. She was brilliant, she was kind, she was beautiful. She was his temptress, and he couldn’t get enough of her. He just couldn’t.
For a brief moment, Octavius imagined a life in which she said yes to his marriage proposal, where it was possible for him to marry the governess.
More dinners like this, more friendly banter and discussions, Temperance fully and completely accepted by the wives of his best friends, her forming her own circle of power…
and how incredibly proud he would be of every achievement, how gladly he would participate in a thousand more electrical experiments, or do anything that she needed.
Except he didn’t know what she needed. She said she didn’t need a husband, nor want one. All she needed was his body to give her pleasure. What she needed was this position, her wages, and he was already giving all of that to her. How could he convince her to say yes to his proposal?
“Miss Fields, you should suspend me!” exclaimed James.
Everybody laughed as the Duke of Luhst asked, “Whatever do you mean, James? Suspend you?”
The boy giggled. “Yes, there was this demonstration at the Marvels of Electricity when a boy was suspended with ropes and they ran electric fluid through him, and then all kinds of fluff and papers and feathers just flew up to him. I want to be that boy, Miss Fields. I would like you to suspend me.”
Another round of laughter ran through the guests.
“Perhaps in the summer,” said Margaret. “We will go back to the Eccess country estate for the summer, won’t we, Your Grace?”
Octavius hadn’t thought that far into his future, but of course he wanted to go to the Eccess estate in summer.
The children could run around the meadows and the woods in safety in his huge estate that stood empty right now.
Temperance and the children would cast light into the darkest memories of his life there and chase them away.
The shadows of his past always shrank wherever Temperance went. She was the light. She was that electrical shock to his system, energizing and electrifying and absolutely essential.
“Yes, of course, we will go.”
But Temperance’s gaze looked empty, her eyes sad. Octavius had a strange feeling that somehow, despite her promise not to leave him, she couldn’t see herself going to his country estate.
There were more mysteries to unfold, and he needed the answers from her.
Octavius cleared his throat. “Of course, we will go, we will all go. And then, if Miss Fields would like to suspend James, she will have my approval.”
The governess smiled sweetly—but at the boy, not him. “We can suspend you, James, if you like.”
“And how about joining the Misses with Microscopes, Miss Fields?” asked the Duchess of Pryde warmly.
“Please do. We meet regularly every week for tea and sometimes something stronger. Perhaps you would like to join our next meeting? I’m the hostess,” added the Duchess of Luhst. “If Eccess can spare you for a few hours.” She looked pointedly at Octavius.
He inclined his head. “Of course, I’ll be glad to spare you, Miss Fields, if you like.”
Temperance blushed again and smiled. “I would very much like that. Ever since my Papa died, I don’t have anyone with whom to discuss my interests in electric fluid.”
“You discuss it with us!” exclaimed James.
“Of course I do, and I very much enjoy our discussions,” the governess said quickly. “I am also fascinated to hear about the ladies’ achievements in the fields of biology and chemistry and archaeology. If I can contribute in any way, I would be honored.”
The Duchess of Rath clapped her hands, and a grin filled Dorian’s stern face.
“That’s settled, then. We will wait for you after Christmas.”
The rest of the dinner passed without much else to interest Octavius, beyond the cheese course, naturally, which featured some impressive blue Stilton.
As his guests wrapped themselves up in the hallway against the wintery winds and chattered happily about an evening well spent, Octavius could not help but wonder if Temperance would come once again to his side for her pleasure.
He did not have to wait long upon entering his bedchamber. A gentle knock on the door, and she was in his arms, lifting up her lips to be kissed.
“It was such a wonderful evening,” Temperance said as she laid her hands on his chest.
After she kissed him sweetly, he wrapped his arms around her, his heart singing. “If the evening was so wonderful, why are you so sad?” Octavius asked.
She blinked quickly and forced a smile. “Am I?”
Deflection, then. “I can clearly see something is bothering you. What is it?”
She swallowed hard and was silent for a few moments. Then, “It’s nothing.”
It was difficult not to feel piqued that she would not open herself to him. Why share their bodies if he could not also worship her mind? “Why do I always have the feeling you are not telling me something?” Octavius asked slowly. “Please tell me whatever it is. I can help. I assure you.”
Tears welled in her eyes.
The words “I love you” were on his tongue, but how could he say that to her, only to be rejected? Because then he would definitely feel like the glutton he’d been his whole life, the uncontrolled monster he was hiding from the world.
“I want to know,” he repeated softly.
She cupped his face and looked deep into his eyes. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
She didn’t reply, instead looking at her hands. There it was, the abyss spreading between them—bottomless, endless—and he couldn’t find the words to convince her to stay, to trust him.
Octavius’s jaw tightened. He’d always be the careless rake who’d partied wildly and had no limits, no consequences, no regard for others.
Just as long as there was pleasure. Only a couple of months ago, he’d accidentally betrayed the Duke of Pryde by slipping information about Augustus’s christening to the Regent during a night of debauchery. “I’m not worthy of your trust, am I?”
“No,” she chuckled. “No, you are the worthiest man I’ve ever met, Octavius. You are the kindest, the most adventurous, the bravest man. You have shown me sides of myself I’ve never thought existed. You’ve made me a better woman, a fuller woman, and I—I’ve been so happy in your house.”
He blinked, his heart constricting. “Why do you sound like you are saying goodbye?”
Temperance shook her head. “I’m not. I just—I don’t want to think about the past or the future. Please give me this once again, this night with just you and me.”
She kissed him. And with her kiss, as always, Octavius forgot everything.