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I looked down, my finger trapped in the baby’s grip, adjusting his little hat so his ears wouldn’t be cold.

“Yes, I am. It’s not his fault.”

I glanced up, but she flicked her eyes quickly away so I couldn’t see the expression in them.

“What are you going to name him?” Indi asked after a moment.

“Well,” I said. “I know I—we—really liked the name Julian, but I don't want to take that one if you’re planning to save it for another baby. In the future.”

There was a big lump in my throat at the idea of Indi and Finn having another baby together.

Would they get married? I knew Finn wanted to, of course he’d want to.

Anyone would be lucky to have Indi. It took a special kind of asshole to have her and then throw away the relationship with a stupid mistake.

“No,” she said lightly. “I think Julian suits him. I think you chose well.”

Julian . It did suit him. I could already tell he was a regal child.

As we neared home, Indi asked a question I had never expected.

“Why did I hear you doing fucking breeding dirty talk with Astrid? If I could ever forgive you, I couldn’t forgive that. When we were in the middle of dealing with infertility and trying to get pregnant.”

“The truth is so goddamn embarrassing!” I said. “It would ruin your view of me as a supremely virile man,” I added, feeling like as banter went it wasn’t my best.

“Ambrose, I have Finn for anytime I’m craving someone overflowing with virility. I want the truth from you.”

Sighing, I closed my eyes and remembered the day.

“It doesn’t usually do that,” I said, my cheeks flaming as I looked down at my flaccid cock with a mixture of fury and bafflement.

“How long do we have?” Astrid asked, pulling down her shirt and twiddling her nipples.

They weren’t quite as exciting as I had imagined. Just breasts really. Maybe it had been more about the idea of something forbidden, because now that I was actually doing something forbidden, I felt a bit ill.

“Maybe an hour until Indi gets home,” I said.

“Let’s make this quick then,” Astrid said, ripping her skirt up and showing me her lacy thong.

But my penis did not seem inclined to be quick.

Astrid dropped to her knees between my thighs and applied her wet mouth to my cock, leaving exciting red lipstick marks all over it.

But my cock did not seem to want to go .

This was really embarrassing. Indi and I had had voracious sex ever since the day we met, and I had never once had a problem getting it up for her.

In fact, until the last several months when trying to conceive had become so stressful, I’d never had a problem going multiple times a day.

And just the thought of our honeymoon in Bali was enough to get my cock twitching.

In fact, it was twitching now.

I looked down in surprise to see it beginning to stand up like a soldier in Astrid’s mouth.

“Yes, Daddy,” she breathed, scrambling up and onto my lap, wrinkling my nice tweed jacket but I couldn’t think about that now.

I was not into Daddy kink whatsoever. What was I supposed to say to that?

Luckily Astrid did not seem to expect an answer as she ripped out a condom and sunk down on my mostly-hard cock.

I gripped her hips and tried to enjoy the thrill of a dangerous liaison.

But she didn’t make the same sounds as Indi or move the same way as Indi. She didn’t feel like my wife, and the way she kept licking directly inside my ear was very distracting.

What kind of loser was I to be thinking of my wife while I was supposed to be having a hot dirty fuck with my coworker in the backyard?

This was a mistake

After this, I was going to tell Astrid it was a one-time thing, go take a shower, and spend the rest of the decade making it up to my wife.

Oh, shit, my cock was drooping now.

If I closed my eyes, it would come back up. If I thought about how Indi looked, how she smelled.

The carpal tunnel was really getting to me as Astrid finally came, bouncing up and down on my dick.

I didn't think I was going to come so I was going to have to fake it.

I screwed my eyes shut and thought of the hottest thing I had ever said to my wife so I could at least stay hard to get this over with.

“Ready for me to fill you with my cum?” I growled. “You want a baby in this belly?

And that’s when I heard her scream. . .

When I had finished telling Indi, I sat with my head bowed, thinking I had totally ruined any potential second chance with her.

“Christ, you’re a dumbass, Ambrose,” she said disapprovingly.

“I know,” I said. “Not only is it the single stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but now you know it wasn’t even hot and I had to think of you the entire time just to keep my dick up. And it was only pride that kept me from crawling back to you before.”

“I can’t think about this right now,” was all she said. “I’ll come in and help you make sure Julian gets settled in your place.”

But when we arrived in Applewood and drove down our pretty lane with the leaves all bright with red, yellow, and orange fall colors, my house was on fire.