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Ambrose

A hh, life is just perfect, I thought as I drove my sleek little silver BMW down the shady tree-lined street of Applewood Subdivision.

Life stretched in front of me in glorious rolling hills of pure intellectual and romantic bliss.

But as I pulled up in front of the home I shared with Astrid, I heard the sound of a lawnmower and grimly remembered the one tiny problem in my existence.

The fact that my ex-wife Indigo still lived right next door.

Unfortunately, we were still neighbors.

When I very generously offered to Indi in the divorce proceedings that she could keep the house in return for not touching my retirement and savings accounts, I expected she would sell it.

Who would want to live next to their ex-husband? And Astrid was such a hippie free spirit. What did she even want with stuffy Applewood Subdivision? She had told me many times how ridiculous our HOA was.

I even told Indi myself about Astrid’s pregnancy, very early on, to give her plenty of time to get the house on the market before Astrid began to show.

After all, Indi had struggled with infertility for a few years when we were married, so I assumed it would be extremely painful for my ex-wife to live next to Astrid as my fiancée’s belly grew.

Surely it would only remind Indi of what she didn’t have.

However, she didn't seem to appreciate my gentle suggestions.

Damn that woman! She had always been positively impossible sometimes.

This was why I did my best to not interact. Maybe that was a mistake. After all, I needed to consider how distressing the whole situation would be for her.

If she would only sell the house!

I pulled in the driveway just as I saw Astrid's car turn down the street.

“Good afternoon,” I called out politely to Indi, who totally ignored me as she continued to mow the lawn in a big baggy T-shirt and bicycle shorts.

I turned to greet my fiancée with a kiss. Like myself, Astrid was quite tall, with sleek blond hair pulled back into a tiny bun. She had just come from the gym, so her 25 week bump was particularly noticeable in her tight tank top.

“Darling, you look divine,” I said, giving her a kiss.

“Thank you, baby,” she replied, running a hand down my expensive silk tie. “How did your faculty meeting go?”

Before I had a chance to answer, she noticed Indi mowing the lawn.

“Surely that’s a HOA violation,” she hissed to me. “ Look at her out here. Can’t she hire someone like everybody else?”

“It’s not a violation to mow your own lawn,” I laughed affectionately, putting an arm around Astrid.

“Remember, darling,” I added. “She’s probably really struggling living next to us and seeing how blissfully happy we are every day. Your adorable little belly is going to be a constant reminder for her. So we really need to be thoughtful of her feelings.”

Astrid kissed me again, then stroked her round bump lovingly. “You’re so right,” she murmured. “I have to remember her empty, barren womb and my good fortune.”

We turned to go in just as Indi finished and headed over to her front porch to grab a drink.

It was a warm day in late September, and she had her long deep auburn hair pulled into a ponytail.

There was a slick sheen of sweat on her face and she wiped it off with the hem of her T-shirt, then pulled the whole thing over her head and draped it over the garden fence.

Astrid’s fingers suddenly bit deeply into my arm and I heard her sharp intake of breath.

The briefcase dropped from my numb fingers, hitting me painfully in the shins.

Indi was wearing only a sports bra and shorts and her excessively ample cleavage was spilling out of the tight black fabric.

And underneath her bouncing breasts was a round, perky. . .

. . . baby bump .