Page 11 of Donut Disaster
“Like I said”—Everett blinks a smile—“winner’s choice.”
Mom unlocks the door and we all sweep in together in one great big mob, pressing through the door in a comical manner you might see in an old black and white movie.
“Oh my goodness!” I cry out as I take it all in. “No wonder Lainey wanted to keep this place a secret—in fear I might move in. And she’d be right.”
The living room is spacious as it flows right into a great room that connects the dining room and the kitchen as well. The floors are dark, which will drive my OCD sister perfectly batty, but the walls are painted the faintest shade of blue, and it looks like a slice of paradise just this side of heaven. All of her old furniture is already in place, but the house is so large she’ll have to add several new pieces. The grand room already houses Forest’s green felt pool table.
My feet magnetize to the kitchen, my favorite room in any house, and I soak in the beauty of it all. The cabinets are bone white and heavily framed, the counters are white granite with gray veining, and the appliances are all stainless steel and top-of-the line. I set my platter of sweet treats down and peel the lid off. “Help yourselves!” I’m quick to announce. “I’ve got plenty to feed the entire neighborhood.”
“Not so fast!” Mom holds up a green fistful of what looks to be weeds.
Figures. Leave her to her own devices for less than ten seconds and she’s re-landscaping the front yard.
She lifts the dehydrated shrubbery with pride. “We’re going from room to room and saying a blessing over every nook and cranny. All of us together. The universe will be forced to yield to our will. Isn’t that right?” She bats her lashes up at Pastor Gaines, and true to himself, that grin has never left his face.
“That’s right, Mandy Candy.” He lands a wet one right to her lips, and my stomach churns.
Mandy Candy?
Dear Lord. It looks as though we’ve got a rogue yet randy preacher on our hands. My sweet mother, Miranda Mandy Candy Lemon, seems to attract all sorts of interesting characters, and I get the feeling the more I learn about the candy man, the more interesting I’ll find him—and not in any good way.
“Knock, knock!” a female voice sings from the door and in waltzes Carlotta, looking every bit like me, accompanied by not one but two tired looking dogs.
Cookie bounds over, and I’m quick to give that sweet spot under his chin a quick scratch despite the present non-supersensual company. I give my leg a good scratch right after before rising in an effort to not look like a loon.
“Let’s hope Lainey’s new house doesn’t have weeds.” It comes out chipper as I smile at the curious faces turned my way.
Cookie Monster barks up at me. “Any news on who could have done this?” His voice is deep and solid, and if I had to guess I’d say there was a touch of a British accent in there, too, and it makes me want to have tea and crumpets with him all the more.
I shake my head at the furry little creature just as Mom perks up and welcomes Carlotta. A deep voice rumbles from behind where Mayor Nash holds up the rear with an awkwardly large houseplant nestled in his arms—the second tired dog in question.
“I’ll just put this down before my back goes out.” He dumps the prehistoric looking fern next to the front door with a thud.
I can’t help but give a disparaging look to my biological father. Of course, Joseph Lemon is all the father I would ever need, but he’s gone now and Harry Nash is here in Lainey’s brand new living room bearing soil-covered gifts. He’s asked to have a heart-to-heart with me, but we’ve been hit-and-miss. I suppose it’s inevitable, sort of like death and taxes.
“Lottie!” He comes over and offers me an awkward embrace. We have the same caramel-colored hair and similar bone structure. When he smiles just so, I can see a part of me hiding there in his face. “I wanted to see if you were interested in baking some treats for the closing of the Honey Festival later this month?”
“Really?” I glance to Noah and Everett beaming with delight. “I would love to. Just tell me what you’d like and I’ll make sure there’s an ample supply.”
“I’ll let you do the choosing. Heaven, if it was left up to me, we’d be eating nothing but those rocky road brownies of yours.” His eyes zero right in on the platter behind me where they wave to him with pride and he groans. “Mind if I help myself?”
“Be my guest.”
Mom claps us all to attention as she takes a match to the shock of greenery in her hand, and sure enough a tiny fire ensues as she does her best to blow it out.
“Mother, what are you doing?” I’m more than mildly alarmed that my mother is setting fire to things inside of Lainey’s new home. My sister wouldn’t hesitate to kick her out on her pretty blonde ear if she got wind of the flames.
“This issage, Lottie.” She waves me off as if I hadn’t a clue about life. “People burn it for good luck. It keeps the evil spirits away.” She gives a cheeky wink to Pastor Gaines as if he were one of them.
I’d remind her that I’m pretty sure she’s flirting with witchcraft and that it goes against the religion we share with Pastor Gaines, but I’d hate to speak poorly of her in front of not one but two of her quasi-beaus. Not that Mom and Mayor Nash lasted all that long, but hey, he qualifies.
But now Mayor Nash is with Carlotta. I’ll admit, it’s so weird that my bio parents are dating each other. Mostly I find it weird, because when Mayor Nash had his way with Carlotta, he was a married man with children and she was a sixteen-year-old girl with her virginity still intact—I’m opting to think the best of Carlotta for this one. Had it happened today, I’m sure he’d be rotting in a prison somewhere. But, judging by the way Carlotta is holding his hand, I doubt she’d want him anywhere but here in my sister’s house while we all flirt with a little breaking and entering.
Cookie Monster hops and skips all around the great room as if he hadn’t seen a space on earth this big in years—and considering his alarming non-corporal state, it’s a safe bet that’s true.
I watch as he sniffs his way around the room before stopping at Pastor Gaines. Cookie looks up at the smiling preacher and gives a harsh bark. I take up Everett’s hand so he won’t miss the show and Noah tips his head my way once he spots the conjoined effort and points to the vicinity as if asking if a ghost were in the room.
I nod quickly, affirming the fact. Noah is more than apprised of the fact that anyone can hear the dead if they hold my hand. But for a very long time it was only Everett that was privy to my secret.