Page 24 of Distorted Obsession (The Distorted Trilogy #1)

eva

My nerves are on edge as I rinse the shampoo from my hair and contemplate my visit to see Cooper and Colter.

How do I begin to apologize for what I’ve cost them?

Will they even forgive me?

“You can’t,” I mutter to myself, washing the last of the suds out. “No amount of sorrys can replace the blow you caused.”

Heaven knows I can’t forgive myself.

Shutting off the faucet, I push my intrusive thoughts to the back of my mind, locking them in an ironclad box. Then, I wrap a towel around my hair and another around my body before hopping out of the shower.

The boisterous ramblings of my teammates greet me as I enter the locker room.

“We’re so going to kick ass at this week’s game,” Mindy exclaims, her joy momentarily making me forget my worries and smile.

Today’s practice was one of our best to date. Everyone served, passed, blocked, and spiked the ball like well-oiled machines. There were more than a few times when we volleyed the ball until a side earned a point.

“The Bobcats won’t know what hit them,” Ayana declares.

“Pun intended?” I quip as I dry off and lotion my skin.

Laughter fills the room. “She wishes she was that clever,” Paisley teases.

Shaking my head, I continue to listen to their banter. Then, I get dressed, towel dry my hair, and put it into a bun.

Little by little, the noise in the locker room dies down as girls gather their belongings and leave.

I’m slipping on my Biscay Bay-colored Birkenstocks when Camiel asks, “Are you coming with us to grab dinner?”

Standing, I pack my bag before I reply, “No, I’m going to meet Colt and Coop.”

“Who are they anyway?” Ayana asks, throwing her bag strap over her shoulder.

I’m not touching this with a million-foot pole tonight. Today has been the first day in a while where I woke up not in a cold sweat, plagued by memories of my dead best friend.

“I’ll fill you all in another time,” I respond.

Ayana, Paisley, and Camiel wave bye before heading toward the exit.

I’m picking up my gym bag when a throat clears, and I shift my attention toward the sound.

“I don’t think you should go over there, Eva,” Jade confesses.

My nose wrinkles in confusion. “Why not?”

“Don’t you think it’s odd that we’ve been in school for a few weeks, and they’re just making their presence known?” Jade inquires.

I’d easily agree with her if it were anybody else, but it’s Colt and Coop. I’ve known them since I was a kid, and they’ve done nothing to hurt me. If anything, I’m the one who has caused them pain.

Noticing my reticence she plows on, “They show up the same day that bitch Portia dies. That seems too coincidental to me.”

“Jade, it’s not what you think. I promise,” I state, trying to assuage her worry.

“Then what is it like, Eva? Because where I stand, school has been in session for a couple of weeks, and we’ve never seen or heard of these guys,” she rebuts, and I realize I have to tell her. Jade won’t let this go otherwise.

Before I answer, I flick my gaze around the room to ensure there’s no one else but us. “No,” I sigh. “Their family has been through a lot with the loss of their sister.”

Surprise fills Jade’s features before it registers, and her lips part into an “O.”

“They’re them?”

I’m unsure if it’s meant to be a statement or a question, but I nod. “They are them.”

“Fuck.”

Huffing, I mumble, “ Fuck is right.”

“Oh, Eva. I’m sorry. I thought—” her words trail off. “—I thought they were… shit. I don’t know who I thought they were.”

Jade envelops me, squeezing tight until the tension in my body melts away. I let her hold me a moment longer before I pull back.

“It’s okay,” I begin, but pause, fighting off my budding tears. “Actually, it’s not okay. It hasn’t been okay in over two years.”

I quickly wipe my eyes before they can fall and confess, “It’ll be good to see them. I need this.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” she offers.

“No. It’s best if I go alone. There are things… things I want to discuss with them that I’d rather do without others around.”

Nodding her head in understanding, Jade offers me a sympathetic smile. “I understand completely.” She looks lost in thought before she says, “Believe me when I say this, Eva, I know exactly what you’re going through—more than you know.”

I’m tempted to ask her what she means, but I can see she’s not ready for that conversation. Something I also relate to. “Whenever you’re ready,” I assure her.

Jade’s lips quirk up as she dips her chin. “See you back at the dorms.” Then she exits the locker room, leaving me to finish collecting my things.

Her words swirl around in my head. “Will your brothers forgive me, Fah?”

My earlier muses escape the box I shoved them in. Doubt creeps up my spine, spreading through my veins like a virus.

“Why the fuck would they forgive you?”

The intrusion jars me from my thoughts. I whip my head around in the direction of the voice and see Candace standing by the lockers closest to the door.

Massaging the bridge of my nose, I mentally prepare for whatever onslaught she’s preparing to levy.

“Can we not do this right now?” I plead, knowing it’ll be in vain.

Tilting her head, Candace steps into the locker room and blocks my path. “When does one discuss how you murdered someone? Should we wait for an audience?” she quips, curling her lips into a sardonic smile. “That didn’t work out so well for you the last few times, if I remember correctly.”

“You really need to find something better to do with your time,” I hiss with false bravado.

I’m tired of people trying to use my moments of weakness against me, like there’s something inherently wrong with grieving… like the notion that I feel remorse is deemed a flaw.

Candace crosses her arms under her chest. “This is a perfect use of my time. I’m calling out a traitor-ass bitch that refuses to own up to what your brother did,” she snarls.

Recognizing this isn’t going to end well. I turn to walk to the other exit when I hear the same recording that Portia played that day in the food court.

I freeze mid-step, listening to my anguished cries. But whereas last time I was crippled by grief, today I’m fueled by anger.

Whirling around, I snap, “I don’t have time for your shit, Candace.”

“Well, I do,” she retorts, and the control on my patience is at its end.

Inhaling, I try to leash my rage. “You should leave,” I command. “Before I forget to spare your feelings.”

“Ohhh, I’m sooo scared of the big bad Eva,” she taunts. “What are you going to do—cry me into compliance?”

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere mourning your friend?” I snap, shocking myself.

The surprise I see on her face when I peer at her also confirms that we both weren’t expecting my outburst.

Candace’s face blooms redder than a tomato, and an apology is on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow it down. She doesn’t deserve one. Who the fuck uses someone’s grief to hurt them?

A monster .

“You fucking bitch,” she shrieks, charging me, and I drop my bag where I stand, preparing to swing, but she trips over her own feet. Her face hits the bench before her body smacks onto the floor.

I burst into laughter as I approach her, placing my foot on her head when she tries to stand. Bending, I notice her blood splattered across the tile.

“Looks like that’s two for karma and none for you bitches,” I snark, pushing her back down when she tries to stand. Then, I step over her with a Cheshire Cat grin and exit the locker room.