Page 19

Taylor

As I hang the last of the garland along the bar, Aries’ lips against mine plays on repeat in my head.

Aries freaking Clark kissed me, and it felt all consuming. Like my mind was clear, and I felt as if everything faded away and all that was left was a sense of peace washing over me. Which is something I haven’t felt in years.

How can a kiss make someone feel that way? Your guess is as good as mine.

After walking away, I went straight to my room, flopped on my bed, and stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours.

Ever since he came home, things have been different. It was like the moment I looked into those dark chocolate eyes in that cage, something shifted. He allowed me to see a part of him that no one else does and he has slowly been showing me what true and ultimate trust and vulnerability feels like.

I’m not naive enough to say I didn’t notice his looks and his personality as an enticing feature. I just never allowed myself to see him as more than a friend and leader.

And now I can’t stop thinking of it being something so much more.

Aries and I. Aries and me. Me being with one of the most ruthless, caring, and hard-headed men I’ve ever met.

To say I’m terrified is an understatement. Part of me can see how Ari and I would work and the other part of me knows that if it ended, it would be catastrophic.

Last night as I watched the sun fade from the sky, I started to wonder if the safety and playful bickering was something more throughout the years and I just didn’t allow myself to see it until now.

I can’t even remember the last time I was in a relationship. Casual hooking up from the local bar, yes. A girl has needs, and I’d be senile to hook up with anyone inside Braveheart.

Now here I am fantasizing about the damn president's lips on mine and how his arms wrapped around me every night feel like the best damn hug of my life.

“Tay! Garland looks great! You can go back to whatever hidden corner with your laptop now. Thanks Darlin!”

Zena’s words bring me out of my head and I turn to look at her. She is busy rearranging the tables in preparation for the big Christmas dinner.

In the years that I have been here, Aries has always gone all out. The present pile grows every year and so does the guest list. It's an emotional few days seeing former victims and kiddos that just can’t catch a break within our local community. But seeing the smiles on their faces is worth it.

I want to say my favorite part is watching the victims that were once just as broken as I was, if not more, walk in every year and seeing how far they have come.

But if I’m being honest, it's watching the smile on Ari’s face when he sees someone that we met at their lowest, who was so deep in their pain they couldn’t tell you their name, walk in with their head held high and a smile on their face.

Every member of the rescue team shares the same sentiment, but there’s something about watching a man that is usually composed wear his heart on his sleeve that shines brighter than the rest.

“I would usually take offense to that, but I will spare you today. If you need anything else, let me know?”

Zena waves me off. “Go. You’ve helped enough, Tay. Just make sure you come out in time for dinner.”

I flash her a smile and before I realize what I’m doing; I find myself making my way to the swings in the back of the compound.

The snow crunches under my boots, and I wrap my arms around myself as the cold December air sends a shiver down my spine.

I should grab a jacket, but the beauty of what sits in front of me outweighs the need to be warm.

The sun shines through the bare trees, reflecting off the snow covered ground. It’s silent and utterly peaceful.

A small gust of wind causes the swings to sway, and I want nothing more than to capture the beauty and bottle it up.

Using my sleeve covered hand, I wipe the snow off the swing and take a seat, the cold plastic making me regret my decision for a brief second.

That feeling is quickly forgotten when I tilt my head up the sky, allowing the sun to warm my face as my mind drifts to the moment when I sat on these swings almost two years ago. I have done nothing but work on myself to prove I wasn’t a waste of space or pawn in a scheme that I wanted no part of.

The time I sat next to Ari on these exact swings feels like it was a lifetime ago while simultaneously feeling like it was just yesterday.

I was in a dark place that day on the swings after finally allowing myself to sit down and realize how much my past had shaped me to be the person I was.

I am nowhere near healed, but I know with every fiber of my being that conversation with Ari changed the trajectory of how I let my past affect me. It was hard, but with his constant checking in and encouragement through very unconventional ways of telling me not to give up and revert back to my old ways, I find myself sitting here close to being happy with the woman I’ve become.

A rabbit races across the field, and my chest tightens.

Ari sat here and told me the story of someone he lost who turned out to be his daughter. A loss so great that I can’t even begin to fathom how heartbreaking it would be.

He sat with his never ending grief and led a team to save so many individuals that are still here with us today.

His strength is indescribable and incredibly admirable.

I allow myself to think back on every mission, every time he was there to talk about nothing and everything, every time he woke up from a nightmare and didn’t shy away from pulling me to his chest.

Ari is the definition of understanding his emotions and dealing with them in a mature way that isn’t seen often.

And for the first time, I allow myself to admit that is a quality I want in someone standing by my side, going through this crazy life with me.

But can I admit that now? All he did was kiss me.

All he did was kiss me and I’m here rethinking everything from the past two years.

He didn’t just kiss you. He wore his heart on his sleeve and showed you the deepest parts of his soul, knowing he was taking a risk that you wouldn’t feel the same.

My head falls forward, my eyes falling closed as every wheel turns in my head at maximum speed.

Dammit Ari. Why did you have to go and turn my brain into mush?

A gust of wind whips through the yard and a shiver rackets my entire body, but I don’t care. I will stay out here all damn day if it means that I can get a tiny ounce of clarity or sign of what to do with the inner war going on inside my head.

Something heavy hits my shoulder, dragging me out of mind, and my head snaps up.

Another gust of wind sends my hair flying in my face and I quickly swipe it away, my head whipping around to see who snuck up on me.

My chest deflates as I see Ari standing behind me, placing a jacket over my shoulders.

“You looked cold,” he says as he situates the oversized jacket before taking a seat at the swing next to mine.

“Thanks.” My voice is low and full of a rare hint of nervousness.

Dammit Ari.

We sit in silence and for the first time; I allow myself to look at him. Really look at him.

Sitting in the swing that barely fits his muscular body, Ari’s long hair peeks out from a black beanie resting atop his head. Sticking to Christmas tradition, Ari abandoned his normal tee and jeans for a cream sweater and jeans.

The man is a creature of habit with what he wears, but when he’s in this sweater, his rich, dark eyes and dark hair contrast in an almost haunting, but beautiful way.

“I can feel you looking at me, Hellhound. If you have something to say, just say it,” Ari says, turning his attention to me with a devious smile on his face.

My brows furrow and because I never can back down when it comes to him, I say, “I have nothing to say, I was just taking in the yearly Christmas sweater. It's the only time we get to see you dressed nice.”

Shaking his head, his eyes roll and he tugs on the chain of my swing, bringing me face to face with him. A breath catches in my throat as our noses brush.

“Don’t forget, Hellhound, just because I am giving you time to think about last night, doesn’t mean I won’t use every opportunity you give me to convince you to be mine. Your compliment disguised as sass does nothing but prove to me you are meant to be standing at my side.”

“Ari.” His name on my mouth comes out almost breathless and his dark eyes turn almost black.

“Hellhound.”

Our lips are inches from each other.

All I have to do is move my head slightly and I will feel that exhilarating sensation again.

I mentally kick myself at my inability to tug on that bravery that Ari senses in me daily.

If I kiss him, that will lead him on. If I don’t kiss him, I remain in this confused state of uncertainty.

Ari must sense the mental gymnastics and pulls back, not entirely, but enough that I can still lean forward and touch my lips to his.

“I can hear the wheels turning in that beautiful mind of yours. Talk to me.”

My head falls forward again and I’m about to tell him no when his hand lifts my head back up, his gaze locking with mine.

“Hey. Remember, you’re the one in control. I don’t expect you to know right away. Like I said, I’ve had a long time to come to terms with this. Do I wish you would have jumped in my arms and said you felt the same all this time? Hell yeah. But life doesn't always align that way.”

“I know, but what if…” My words trail off, not wanting to show the raw, honest truth blaring flashing red sirens in my mind.

“Talk to me, Hellhound. You have never been afraid to stick me with the hard truth. Don’t shy away now.”

He’s right. I’m Taylor freaking Morgan. I don’t shy away from anything. Certainly not a man. And most definitely not the man who has never made me feel anything but safe, no matter what I say.

“What if we do this and it all goes up in flames? What if we do this and it turns out we are just meant to be friends? There is a reason many of us don’t hook up with team members.”

Ari furrows his eyebrows. “The answer is simple. I don’t want to hear about you hooking up with anyone because, as far as I’m concerned, I will be the last person you ever hook up with. If you find an ounce of feelings for me within that beautiful heart of yours, I can promise I will spend every day showing you that it wasn’t a mistake.”

This freaking man is making it impossible to do anything but want to kiss him right now. Calm Taylor. Be rational.

Adjusting the jacket to pull tighter around me, I let out a sigh. “I know, Ace. But you know as well as I do that life is unpredictable. It’s constantly changing. Braveheart is my home. My safe-haven. I’m not going to lie and say that since you got back that I haven't felt a shift or felt things I was terrified of feeling. But that doesn’t change the fact that if life plays games with us and dismantles the foundation we have strongly built around this team and us, things will never go back to the way they were and I can’t lose this community. Without it, I’d be dead.”

Ari stands abruptly as the words leave my mouth. Steadying the chain of my swing still locked in his hand, he holds the other out to me. I take his outstretched hand and allow him to pull me to stand.

He doesn’t release my hand as he stands toe to toe with me, his gaze locked on mine. “Taylor Sloane Morgan. I can confidently promise with my entire broken soul, if you give me a chance to be the keeper of your iron clad heart, I will obliterate anyone that threatens a love that can survive a thousand lifetimes.

“Call it crazy. Call it fast. Call it jumping the gun. I don’t care. If life has taught me anything, it's that it’s too short to play scared of the future. Because, truth is, life will always be unpredictable. It’s what you do with the challenges that show strength and the ability to prevail despite the difficulties.”

He’s right. Every word that comes out of his mouth is nothing but the truth.

Squeezing his hand, I smile. “You’re right. Every word.” I pause and point a finger at him as a devilish grin spreads across his face. “Don’t or I’ll take it back.”

Ari nods and raises his brows at me, a smirk on his handsome face.

“I just need time to see if this is something that I want. Like you said, you’ve had years to get to the point you are today. Our friendship means the world to me and I want to be one hundred percent sure before I take the leap into something that will redefine us. Is that okay?”

As the words leave my mouth, Ari brings me to his chest and wraps his arms around my back. I mimic his gesture and stare out at the snowy landscape sitting before us.

“It's more than okay. But just remember, if you think I’m a pain in the ass now. Just wait, it’s only going to get worse, regardless of the outcome, Hellhound. You’re stuck with me either way.” Laughter laces his tone and as he moves to pull away, I glance up at him.

Damn, he is handsome when he smiles.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I know that it’s Zena letting me know dinner is ready.

“We should probably go,” I say, feeling a little lighter than when I came out here.

Ari nods, but doesn’t budge. Instead, he just stares for a moment before leaning down.

Shit. Ari is going to kiss me again. Do I want him to kiss me again?

Dammit. I really need to get out of my damn head.

His lips are inches from mine and my eyes flutter closed. I wait for the feeling of his lips against mine, but it doesn’t happen. Instead, I feel him press a kiss to the corner of my mouth.

Disappointment smacks me in my stubborn face and when my eyes open, I see a very proud Ari standing before me.

He smirks, a devilish grin spreading across his face as he walks backward in the direction of the Clubhouse.

“See ya later, Hellhound.”

I don’t bother responding. Instead, I stand there, my arms crossed over my chest, Ari’s jacket still hanging on my shoulders, a look of fake annoyance written on my face.

This man wasn’t lying. And I fear this is just the beginning of his mission to prove he is the man worthy of protecting my heart.

Ari: 2

Taylor: Completely. Freaking. Screwed.