Page 18

Aries

“For the last time, I told you I’m fine, Boone.”

Sitting across from me in The Heart, Boone gives me a look like he does not believe a word I’m saying.

Ever since the incident at the Thompson mission, everyone has been walking on eggshells around me and I’m sick of it.

According to Dr. Link, it will be months, if not years, until I truly feel a sense of normalcy again. While I understand I went through a very traumatic experience, part of me wishes I could just forget everything and move on. But that is far from possible when the masked demon haunts my nightmares and has me scared for the only person who clears my mind.

“Aries. Take a few more weeks off. We have everything handled here. You know we have your back, brother.”

Anger rises in me and I know I need to tamper it down because he is just looking out for me, but I’m sick of being babied. I’m sick of closing my eyes and seeing only that dark, disgusting basement.

While the nightmares have become not as frequent and graphic, they are still terrifying nonetheless. And that translates into a lack of sleep and not being in the right headspace to go on missions.

Which pisses me the hell off and is probably the reason I have been snapping at everyone.

But most of all, I want nothing more than to tell the girl I’ve been in love with for what feels like forever, how I feel about her. The day I left on my recon mission, I knew she was pissed. I knew she wanted to go, but I didn’t let her.

I felt the same way about her that day that I do now. Only problem is now, the feelings are blazing inside of me, itching to burst through and dismantle the walls of her ironclad heart, and hoping there is space for me inside.

Every night I sleep with her pressed against me and when she is next to me, waking up from the nightmares isn't so bad. I know just by holding her in my arms, all the tales of what I have lost will fade away.

Scrubbing my hands down my face, my gaze moves to Boone, who is sitting silently across from me, watching…waiting for me to say something.

Taking a deep breath, I rise from my seat and go do the one thing that has helped tremendously since seeing Dr. Link.

Boone’s gaze tracks my movement as I make my way to the door. “I need some air. I appreciate you, Bo. I just need some space.”

I don’t wait for his reply before heading out the door of The Heart, making a beeline for the garage. But of course, I hit the common room at a time where it is crowded with everyone and the second I step in, all eyes are on me.

Well, maybe not, but that’s how it feels.

I try not to make eye contact with anyone, but it fails and I see some of the wives staring at me with pity in their eyes.

Anger consumes me. I hate feeling weak. I hate feeling like everyone sees me as this broken man. Our job is to save individuals that are placed in worse situations than I was in and I hate that they are looking at me like I am one of our victims.

Those people are warriors. I am just the president of an organization that helps them out. A leader who accidentally fell into the trap of an unknown man.

In this business, we will do anything necessary to make sure the demons that turned these innocent people’s lives upside down pay for their crimes. It’s rare, but sometimes revenge for the ones that were exterminated from this world comes back to bite us.

I watched it happen to Hudson, a fellow member of Resilience who runs Team Valiant in Texas. His disappearance sent the entire organization into a frenzy. Luckily, they found him, but it made everyone hyper-aware for years.

I guess I was just a fool to think it would never happen to me. If that even is the reason. We don’t have much to go off, but that is the only plausible idea at the moment.

After what feels like an eternity of weaving through the common room, I finally reach the door that leads to the outside when I hear a voice behind me.

“Prez!”

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I turn around and see Cosmo, one of my most seasoned guys.

“Need something, Mo?”

“Nope. Was gonna ask you the same thing?”

“No thanks. Just going out to the garage.”

He straightens and tries to move around me to the door and I follow his movement. “Perfect. I’ll keep ya company. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I’ll just be near if ya need a hand.”

My teeth grind and my fists clench.

Do not snap at him. He’s just worried about you, Aries.

“I’m good, Mo. Don’t need a babysitter. But I’ll let you know if I do. Thank you, though.” I smile and smack the side of his arm gently. I don’t want to be an ass. Last time I was, Taylor ripped me to shreds. Which she had every right to do. I was a jerk and deserved every single bit of her anger.

Cosmo smiles and moves to the side, allowing a path to the door. “You bet, Prez. Always got your back.”

Cosmo walks away and as soon as I step outside into the cool December air, I instantly feel my body relax.

Christmas is right around the corner and it's about to get chaotic in the Clubhouse. Families, former victims, and those in need of a family will flood the compound in just a few days and chaos will ensue.

I’m sure my disappearance has made its way around the gossip mill, so I desperately need to take the next few days to get my head on straight.

Snapping at anyone is not in the cards. Neither is pissing off my butterfly covered beauty.

The walk to the garage is short and I knock my boots against the metal paneling so I don't track in snow.

I make a beeline for the bike I have been working on for weeks since gaining my strength back and my wrists didn't feel as if they were being cut with razor blades every time I so much as cranked a wrench.

My hands glide over the metal frame before I walk over to the toolbox on the wall and, just like that, the rest of the world fades away into a comfortable silence.

Which is quickly interrupted when I hear footsteps behind me.

An agitated breath escapes me. “Cosmo, I said that I would call if I needed you.” My voice is full of malice and irritation, but I don’t care. I just want some damn peace and quiet.

“Aries. We talked about this. Just because you are hurting doesn’t mean you get to be a dickhead.”

Taylor’s voice has me frozen in place.

Shit.

Dropping the wrench onto the small stool next to me, I spin around.

Just a few feet away, Taylor stands with her sweater covered arms crossed over her chest. Her hair is down in long tendrils and the ripped jeans that show peaks of her tattoos have me pausing for just a moment, but not long enough for her to notice.

I go to respond, but she doesn’t allow me. Instead, she takes a step forward, allowing me to catch a hint of her warm vanilla scent.

“The people here love you. I don’t expect you to be perfect, but you need to do better. If the situation was reversed, you’d be saying the same thing to me.”

I risk taking a step closer. “I would never let you be in the situation I was in the first place, so that conversation would never happen.”

Her head tilts back and I watch as those gorgeous green eyes roll. Something that irritates the hell out of me while turning me on at the same damn time.

How can your favorite thing about someone be the thing that drives you the most mad?

“We are not talking about your obsessive need to protect me, Ace. We are talking about the fact that these people love you and want to protect you just as much as you protect them. You don’t have to tell them every detail, but for fuck’s sake, let them take care of you a little.”

She’s right. I’ve been working on it. But progress doesn’t happen overnight, even if I wish like hell it did.

“I know. You’re right.”

Taylor is looking out into the garage, but as the words leave my mouth, her head snaps to me, her eyes wide in surprise.

“Don’t act surprised. You know I’m not one to sugarcoat or hide my feelings.”

A smirk spreads across her face. “You’re not, but I didn’t expect you to just give in right away.”

I shrug and take a step closer, the toes of my boots touching the tips of her black combat boots. “I’m trying, Hellhound. Just some days are harder than others and today was a rough one.”

I shock myself with the vulnerability escaping me. Clearly, Taylor is slightly surprised too, judging by the raise of her eyebrows.

A wave of heaviness fills the room and before her eyes can morph into pity or show any hint of sadness, I say, “Did you need something?”

I watch as her face morphs into confusion at the sudden change in topic. “What?”

“You came in here for a reason. Did you need something?”

My eyes search her face, and the change in the air is palpable.

Taylor straightens. “Do you want the genuine answer, or one I know won’t trigger your attitude?”

This girl and her damn sass will be the death of me.

Who are you kidding? It's why you practically want to fall at her damn feet.

Ignoring my very true inner thoughts, I cock my head and stare straight into her piercing green eyes. “When have you ever been one to filter that damn mouth of yours?”

A chuckle escapes her. Her hips jut out and she doesn’t revert her gaze. “You’re right. I came to check on you. I’ve grown quite accustomed to caring about your wellbeing since you have taken up a residence in my bed. But judging by your quick reaction when I came in here, it’s clear you need a moment or two alone to collect yourself.”

Her voice is full of sarcasm and sass. And I fucking love it.

Taylor Sloane Morgan. The only person I will ever let speak to me in the manner she does. Her defiance, stubbornness, and caring persona drives me mad, while at the same time is the fuel that dismantles every wall in a heart that I never thought I would allow anyone to enter after Raynie disappeared.

The problem is she doesn’t even know because I have been too scared to lose her by showing what lies beyond the mask I have firmly in place.

Ever since I got back, the straps on the mask have been slipping. Every look. Every night I spend in her bed. Every subtle touch. Everything about Taylor since I came back to the compound has slowly but surely loosened the strings, and now it's hanging on by a thread.

And judging by the tension that is not filled with anger lingering in the air and the look of mild uneasiness on Taylor’s face, I know she can sense a change.

My hand raises to cup her cheek, but she spins around and begins to walk away. “See you later, Ace. Come find me if you need me.”

My control snaps. I reach her in a few steps and grasp her arm, spinning her around to face me.

Her long black hair sweeps across my face and the second our eyes meet, I abandon every sense of control and press my lips against hers.

My hands thread into her hair and Taylor freezes. I don’t pull back and I’m happy I don’t because seconds later, her lips are moving against mine.

Taylor rises on her toes, wrapping her arms around my neck, her body sinking against my chest as her lips move in sync with mine.

Fucking hell. She’s perfect.

Everything in my mind fades into the distance, my entire body being completely and utterly consumed by the girl I wished for years would notice me.

Now she is standing here wrapped in my arms, her lips on mine, and I feel as if the damn sun has shined for the first time in months. Hell, more like years.

Not wanting to scare her, I begrudgingly part from her, but keep my hold on her.

Taylor’s eyes are closed, her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace.

I wait in silence, allowing her to gather her bearings, but the second her eyes flutter open and meet mine, I search for any sign of regret.

I wait for her arms to drop from my neck and for her to run away, but she doesn’t.

I know her mind is running a mile a minute, but she doesn’t show it.

Her cheeks flush as she says, “What was that for?”

A chuckle escapes me. My hands move from her hair to her waist, pressing her body further into mine. “You said to come find you if I needed you. And I did. I’ve needed you like I need oxygen for years. I’ve just been too scared to tell you, but if the last few months have proven anything, it's that life is too short to be scared. I want to live, Hellhound. And I want to live with you by my side.”

Silence falls between us as I watch every emotion fall across her face. The wheels turn in her head so loud that I feel as if I can hear them.

Everything in me wants to bring her in close and tell her everything that has been on my mind for years, but I don’t. This may not be new to me, but it is very new to her and if I want a chance with this woman, who is the true definition of a warrior, I need to ease her into it.

“I–umm–”

I can’t help but smile at Taylor’s stuttering. The woman who has a comeback or response to everything, with the snap of a finger, is left standing speechless in my arms.

Squeezing her hip, I grab her attention, which has averted to anywhere but me. “Hey. You don’t have to say anything. I know it's new. But I need you to listen to what I’m about to say. Alright?”

Taylor nods and I brush my thumb over her exposed skin at her hip.

Goosebumps pebble her skin along the path my thumb takes, but her gaze stays locked on mine.

My voice is soft and low as I say, “Just because I feel this way doesn’t mean you have to. I will never force you into something that you don’t want to be part of. You are in control here, Hellhound. We go at your pace. I won’t apologize for kissing you because that was the best kiss of my goddamn life. But I will apologize for catching you off guard. Now I can’t promise I won’t go to the ends of the earth to convince you to be mine, but I will promise that if you say no. It means no and we will go back to being friends. You will always have a home here. There is no Braveheart without Taylor Morgan, whether you are by my side as mine, or by my side as one of the leaders of the team. Okay?”

Taylor stares up at me in complete shock and disbelief.

Once again, I want to say more, but I don’t. I just stand there with her in my arms as she processes everything.

After what feels like seconds, because no time with Taylor in my arms will ever be enough, she steps back, untangling her arms from around my neck, and shoves her hands into her back pockets of her jeans.

Yes. I know I have it bad. You try staring at a beautiful woman covered in butterflies who can slit a man’s throat with the flick of a wrist in the eyes and tell me that you wouldn’t want to hold her forever.

“I need some time to process. This is—a lot.” Her gaze is downcast at the ground, her boot kicking a stone on the concrete floor.

“I know.”

Taking a step back, her gaze returns to mine. “I have no idea what to say, which is a first for me. And I don’t know how I feel about that.” A nervous chuckle escapes her and she continues. “If you need me tonight, I may make you sleep on the bean bag because my mind is going a million miles an hour.”

I can’t contain my laughter and nod. “Of course, Butterfly. Like I said, this is on your terms. You have the handlebars. I’m just simply along for whatever ride you choose to take us on.”

A small smile spreads across her face and she nods, her gaze briefly returning to the ground, then back to me.

Taylor takes a few steps back and raises her sweater covered hand to wave. “I’ll see you later?”

“Always.”

Taylor pauses for a moment, her eyes tracking up and down my body before she turns and I watch her walk out the door of the garage.

My head tilts back and I scrub my hands down my face as I hope like hell I didn’t just ruin a relationship with someone who has been my calm in this world of chaos.