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13

DOT

The bathtub was empty, the cold porcelain seeping through my clothes. Yes, I was fully clothed, sitting in the empty bath. It was my escape. I had lost count of the number of breakdowns I had over the last couple days. Kat and Dante took turns being with me, helping me through this detox, and I was starting to feel embarrassed. Like a fucking burden. But I also knew there was no way I could have survived this without them. I needed them, and that idea of relying so heavily on them weighed even more on me than the distant craving to snort an entire line of coke. And I hated myself more for it.

Kat and Dante left every now and then, usually only one at a time, so that there was always someone here with me. But they had business to take care of. Deals that needed to be made, and it worried me. I would sit and wait, anxiously picking at my nails until they would return. When they did leave, Patty would come over and stay with me. She doted on me with such love and care, like a mother, ensuring I had everything I needed and never felt alone. She noticed my new behaviors and would try to give me little manicures to help, but the thoughts of worry remained until I saw my devils walk through that door.

Our evenings had become very domestic between the three of us. I was getting used to being with my devils on the couch at night, watching shitty tv and eating frozen dinners or take out. Even if it was only temporary, it was nice. The couch in the evenings had become our sweet sanctuary, breaking from the sad reality. Over time, I had slowly improved, and while I still didn’t feel like Bubbles, I was happy to be with them in those moments. Even if they were fleeting.

The latest episode of Dallas played on the small television when a knock sounded on the front door. The three of us stiffened, unsure of who was at the door. “I got it,” Dante announced. He had to lift my legs off of his lap so that he could get off the couch. I snuggled in closer to Kat as we continued watching our favorite show, on edge as we listened to Dante answer the door. Two sets of footsteps sounded from the front of the apartment as Dante returned, shadowed by someone else. “Patty brought us a sweet surprise!” Kat and I immediately eased as she stepped around him.

“Just a little something, nothing big.” Patty physically couldn’t come over without bringing something hearty to snack on. She was always so prepared and so sweet.

“Patty, that is an entire pineapple upside down cake,” I said, smirking. “Like an entire fucking cake.”

“Yeah, well, consider it a pre-birthday treat, Dottie.” She winked.

Kat sat up straight, knocking me out of my comfortable snuggle. “Wait just a goddamn minute!” She gripped my chin, turning my face as I looked directly into her gorgeous dark eyes. “ When is your birthday?”

I blinked. “Please, it’s not a big deal—” Normally I would have loved to celebrate my birthday, but this year, I just wasn’t in the mood. Not now.

“It’s in a couple of weeks,” Patty answered, while she opened the cake box and began cutting us pieces with Dante’s help. “Eddie marked it on the calendar and everything!”

“I–I really don’t want to talk about it right now,” I whispered to Kat. Patty and Dante walked back into the room, both of their hands filled with perfectly sliced pieces of cake. I took my piece from Patty with a smile, immediately taking a generous bite. “Mmm. This is delicious!”

“Mhm. And this conversation isn’t over,” Kat snapped, planting a kiss on my cheek.

I accepted that for now. But I still wasn’t ready for everything yet. The thought of being happy and surrounded by so much joy was still overwhelming and seemed unattainable. Hell, it felt wrong. Like I didn’t deserve to celebrate after all that happened. And a subject change was very necessary. “How are things at Eden’s Inferno, Patty? How’s Jade? Ugh, I miss her.”

“Jade is great! She misses you too… keeps asking when you’ll be back.” She took a bite , her eyes low, knowing the comment might hit a nerve. “Everything else is pretty standard really, nothing crazy. Oh!” The three of us jumped at her overly excited voice. “I’ve been meaning to tell you three!” Dramatically, she dropped her fork on her plate with a loud clatter, moving her hands as we listened intently. “Eddie demoted Lana!”

Dante was the first to speak up. “You’re shitting me.” He grinned, shaking his head.

Patty raised her right hand to the sky. “I swear to god! Now, you know I’m not a religious lady, so I’m not sure how much that means… but he sure did. Just the other night, when you two weren’t there, these two guys came in wanting a table and The Devil’s Corner was empty, because, well—obviously, you two were here and not there. And she sat them down right at your table!” She dropped her jaw for dramatic effect. Kat and Dante exchanged a brief look as I watched Patty. Hearing her tell a story was like watching a movie and I lived for it. “Yeah. So, anyway, Eddie must’ve seen from upstairs, and before Lana could even put those guys drink orders in, he screamed at her in front of the entire club—patrons and all—and just like that” —she snapped her fingers— “Lana got demoted to a busser! Can you believe that shit? Frankly, I’m thrilled. That little twat always annoyed the piss out of me. Especially after how she treated Dottie here.”

“Patty!” I chuckled, hoping the two didn’t press the topic.

Kat took a bite out of her cake. “She needed a good kick in the ass.” Her eyebrow flicked as she took another bite. “Good for Eddie.”

“Yeah,” Dante chimed in. “We might not be as present at the moment, but that club is still our turf. And no one is taking it from us. Oh, just wait till we get back in there—” Kat shot him a look as she swiftly changed the topic. “Fuck, you sure can bake, Patty!” Kat shook her head, sighing.

We all finished our cake, giggling and chatting about the club. Patty filled us in on gossip we had missed, dramatically recalling everything with over the top expressions and hand movements. I felt myself slowly coming back to life. I was comfortable with them, the four of us sitting around in the living room, watching tv and eating cake like some weird family. It felt so right. Honestly, it was the most fun I had in a long time. And deep down, I think I was actually starting to feel happy again.