Page 77 of Die for You

Valentina is beyond exhausted.

This could take a while, so I say, “Go to sleep. I’ll take care of it.”

“I can’t sleep,” she confesses, drawing her knees toward her chest. “I keep hearing that nursery rhyme. What if…what if he’s not dead?”

Crouching before her, I place my hands on her knees. “Father Merry is dead because you killed him.”

“Then who is it?”

“I wish I knew, but we’re going to find them.”

She works her bottom lip, deep in thought. “I’m fearful for our daughter.”

To hear her refer to Lettie as ours tugs at my heartstrings.

She taps her phone and scrolls through it. When her eyes soften, I know she’s looking at our child.

“This is Lettie, the day she was born.” She offers me her cell.

I cradle the phone, unable to take my eyes off the screen.

I’m hit with so many emotions. It almost feels surreal to look at the baby on the screen and be told she’s mine.

She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Her hair is dark, and her eyes are blue.

“You can scroll across. There are thousands of pictures of her.”

I take a seat beside Valentina and get lost in a life I never experienced, but now, I can live it through these photos.

Each one takes my breath away.

Seeing my daughter grow before my eyes is poignant, and a warmth I’ve never felt before fills me. I don’t know what this feeling is.

It’s beyond love.

“She’s perfect,” I whisper, running my finger over the screen, caressing her face.

I’ll never tire of looking at her.

Through Valentina’s happy snaps, I’m able to see my daughter grow. From birth until her fifth birthday. I’m an outsider, looking in on a life I wished I had lived.

And now, I get it.

I understand why Valentina did what she did.

Do I agree with it?

No.

But I understand why she wanted to keep Lettie hidden.

It’s a parent’s job to protect their child, and Valentina did what she had to do to keep our child safe.I assume she used her childhood as a blueprint on hownotto raise a child. We both were dealt a shitty hand when it came to our parents. Valentina was doing what was best for Lettie.

I don’t realize the time, but over an hour has passed.

Valentina sat silently as I caught up, so to speak.