Page 17 of Die for You

Why am I suddenly nostalgic, thinking of all the things I never had? Realizing all the things I was made to do because Gianna didn’t want us to be human. To be human, we were to feel, and to feel, she couldn’t…control us.

An epiphany hits, and I see Lenny in the corner of the kitchen, casually lighting a cigarette.“I told you so.”

So my father is now replaced with Lenny. Iamgoing fucking crazy.

The imaginary Lenny is still able to evoke butterflies and make me feel things I shouldn’t.

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with this revelation. I don’t even know if it’s how I feel.

Everything is so muddled.

My head is a mess.

“This is the first time you’re away from her, away from her poison. You know the truth,tesoro mio.”

Imaginary Lenny is still a pain in my ass, I see.

Nico sits across from me, watching me closely. I feel incredibly rude, so I smile. Well, I try my best not to scowl as I reach for the spoon.

The soup is delicious.

With my hunger returning, I guzzle down the soup and wipe away any remaining liquid with pieces of crunchy bread. I don’t stop eating until my bowl is clean. And it’s then that I realize I still have company.

Sheepishly peering up at Nico, I feel my cheeks redden. This just confirms that I’m not accustomed to eating in the company of others. I expect him to excuse himself and run out the door, never to return.

Instead, he pushes the plate of meats and cheese to me. “Mangiare.”

He just told me to eat. Not that I need the encouragement.

But I watch as he wraps a piece of prosciutto around a slice of melon and places it into his mouth. He licks away a droplet of juice from his bottom lip. The way he savors it, I assume it’s good. But I’ve never tasted such a strange combination before.

He does the same again, but this time, he offers it to me.

I accept without hesitation, and when I taste the sweet and salty combination, I understand what the fuss is about.

“Is good?” he asks.

“It’s very good,” I reply around a mouthful of food.

He laughs, appearing happy I have enjoyed his cooking.

My first meal with another wasn’t a complete disaster after all.

It’s after midnight by the time Nico leaves.

Once we clean the dishes, we sit in silence, listening to old Italian music on the back porch. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was…nice.

However, now that he’s gone, reality sets in, and I sit in my bed, staring at the envelope on my lap.This is why I’m here, I remind myself. This was never a “get out of jail free” card. I’m here to pay back my dues.

“You owe her nothing.”

“Shut up, Lenny,” I mumble, annoyed that even hundreds of miles apart, he’s still annoying me.

It’s the push I need as I slide my finger under the seal and open the envelope. I unfold the piece of paper and take a deep breath.

It’s an address with a date, a time, and a name.

Madam Gazella.