Page 38 of Devious Truth (Vicious Sinners #3)

I’m shaking. Everything inside of me trembles with the sound of his voice as he ends his call.

This could go wrong. I could be making a complete idiot of myself. But after spending the last four days and nights sinking into my own private hell, I’ll do whatever it takes to pull myself out. To stand in his light again.

To be his good girl once more.

“Vivienne.” His voice rolls over my body, heating my skin.

I swallow, reminding myself to keep calm. Yosef messaged me when they entered the garage, and I’ve been kneeling in position since then. The correct position, as he put it before. On my knees, legs spread, ass pressed against my heels and my hands palm down.

His polished shoes show up in my view and a new sort of pain shoots through me. Panic really. What if this doesn’t work? What if I waited too long to tell him how much I want him. How much I need him.

“Vivienne, what are you doing here?” His command is firm when he adds, “don’t look at the floor, look at me.”

Digging my fingertips into my knee, I tilt my head back until my gaze meets his heated stare. He hasn’t shaved in days. His jawline is covered in an unruly, thick beard. His hair stands on end in places, as though he’s been tugging at the edges.

He looks tired.

I lick at my dry lips. “I thought I knew what I would say when I saw you. I had a whole thing planned, but– I can’t remember any of it.”

He lifts an eyebrow and waits.

“I’m sorry.” I breathe the words. “And not just for the mess with Kieran, for everything. I’m sorry I made you think I didn’t want you. That I didn’t want this.”

“You needed space,” he says, reaching out and brushing his fingertips across my cheek. “I demanded more than you could give?—”

“No.” I stop him. “You didn’t. You pushed me, yes. But if you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have realized how much more to life there really is. I wouldn’t have realized that I could be happy again, that I could find love again.”

He crouches in front of me. The spice of his cologne warms my senses. It’s like walking into your house after school and smelling a batch of cookies pulled fresh from the oven. An aromatic hug.

“I was scared, Ivan. Afraid of what being with you could do to me, because if I lost you…” I drag in a shaky breath. “I was afraid of loving you and afraid of losing you, and in the end, I did both.”

Capturing my face between his hands, he presses his forehead against mine. “So much fear for such a brave girl.”

“I’m not brave.” I laugh softly. “I’m terrified.”

“Being scared and living anyway—that’s bravery.” He wipes the tears rolling down my cheeks away with his thumbs. “I’m sorry I caused you so much pain these last few days.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to go straight to you.

” I grab hold of his wrists, needing a connection linking us to each other.

“I can’t be afraid of what might happen anymore.

Maybe something horrible will happen to us, and maybe it won’t.

But I don’t want to give up on all the love we can have right now. ”

“I love you, Vee.” He brushes his lips across mine softly. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

And then he kisses me.

Slowly. Deeply. Not with hunger or urgency, but with absolution.

His mouth moves against mine like he’s trying to rewrite the last days, trying to rid our memories of the pain we caused each other, to heal the crack we created. There’s no rush, no frenzied movement, just the steadiness of his love.

His fingers tangle in my hair, not to possess me—though he does, so very thoroughly—but to anchor us here in this moment, in this quiet collision of our souls and hearts.

And when I kiss him back, it’s not just because I forgive him the days of silence. It’s because he forgives me, too.

And that’s love.

The ugly of it.

The beauty of it.

The truth of it.

In the early morning, with the sunlight peeking through the drapes, I lie with my cheek resting on his bare chest. His heart beats a steady rhythm beneath my ear.

We’ve barely slept. How could we when we had four nights to make up for? Now, as we lie together, tangled up in the sheets, sated and exhausted, silence fills the room. I’ve never felt such calm. It’s like he’s slayed all the demons that have been barreling down on me over the past four years.

Except maybe one.

“Ivan,” I whisper. “I have to tell you something.”

He stirs, moving to his side so he can face me. He rests his hand on my hip, squeezing me as though to urge me to go on.

“A few days ago, the day you came over, a package arrived in the mail.” I run my hand over my face, pushing my messy hair behind my ear. “It was from my mother-in-law’s estate.”

His brow wrinkles. “What was it?”

“Declan’s ring.” I tuck my bottom lip between my teeth as soon as I get the words out.

His response is immediate. He chuckles, a low rumbling sound from deep in his chest. “The ring?”

“Yeah. Derek’s cousin said they found it in her bedroom with a note that it belonged to Derek. He must have given it to her to hold, I’m not really sure. Why are you laughing? This is bad.”

He lifts a shoulder, as if to dismiss the danger. “It’s fine.”

“How is it fine? If Declan finds out I have it, or he decides to come looking for Kieran and he finds me…I’ve brought the Irish mafia after you.”

He rolls back to his chest, pulling me into him and kisses the top of my head. “Declan’s dead.”

I push up to look him in the eye. “You?”

“No.” He’s firm in his denial. “There was a change in his organization. His cousin, Killian, took over. As far as I know, he took out Declan.”

“Did he send Kieran here?”

“Kieran was loyal to Declan until the bitter end. He ran away before Killian had a chance to deal with him. He was hiding here.”

“But the ring, it would be Killian’s then, if they’re cousins.”

“No one gives a fuck about the ring, Vee. Everything’s in chaos over there. The last thing he’s thinking about is that. You’re not on his radar. He has much bigger problems to deal with.”

“That’s where you’ve been these last few days?”

“I didn’t approach him. I only wanted to be certain you were safe.” He traces my bottom lip with this thumb. “You are.”

“So.” I run my tongue over the tip of his thumb. “What happens now?”

He grins, shoving his thumb past my lips, hooking my cheek with it. “Now, we discuss our future. I want you to move in here. I won’t pressure you to marry me– yet, but I don’t want you in that awful apartment anymore. You need to be here.”

“Because the DeAngelos are still a problem.” I bite down on his thumb.

“They are, but no, that’s not why.” He rolls me onto my back and covers my body with his. “I never want to wake up without you in my bed again.”

“I’m going to get a new job,” I say.

His nostrils flare. “What does that have to do with where you sleep?”

“I’m giving you my terms.”

His jaw stiffens. “Your terms?”

“Yes, I’ll move in here with you if you don’t try to stop me from getting a job. And you let me pay for things.”

“Pay for whatever you want. Work wherever you want—no, I take that back. You won’t work at anymore bars or clubs.” His eyes sparkle. “I remember you said something about not wanting me to go to prison for mass murder when we’re just starting our relationship.”

“It would be very inconvenient, yes,” I say with a laugh.

“I wouldn’t want to do anything that would inconvenience you.” His eyes are intense, full of love as he leans into me, brushing his lips across the shell of my ear. “Now, be a good girl and spread your legs for me.”

He kisses me, and this time the gentleness is gone. His tongue dives into my mouth, and his hand slides down my body, gripping my thigh tightly as I obey his command.

“Fuck, I love you, and I’m going to spend my entire life showing you how much.” He moans as he sinks into me. “Am I understood?”

I tilt my head as his teeth graze my throat. This man will be the death of me, the life of me, and everything in between. A roller coaster of tsunami proportions, and I’m ready to drown in it with him.

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s my good girl.”

Vicious Sinners continues with Book Four, Devious Corruption.