Page 36 of Devious Truth (Vicious Sinners #3)

‘ I t’s been two days, and I still can’t step one foot out of my door without the goons across the hall flying out of the apartment to bother me.” I take the cup of coffee Max was kind enough to bring me from the cafe down the street.

“Carter at the coffee shop says hi, by the way.” She gives a faint smile as she sinks onto the couch.

“This has gone on long enough, you know?” I take a sip of my latte then pace the living room again. “I mean if he hates me, then just tell me that. Take all the security guards away and tell me I’m on my own.”

“I would say the fact that he hasn’t done that tells you he doesn’t hate you. He’s probably just a little mad still.”

“A little mad?” I pause in my step and spin around toward her. “He fired me. Locked me in my apartment and hasn’t called or answered a single text I sent.”

“From what you told me, there was a lot for him to deal with, maybe he’s still, you know, dealing with it?”

“You’re right.” I drag my hand through my hair as I sink onto the couch beside her. “It’s just?—”

“You sabotaged.”

“Yes! I sabotaged myself.” I lean my head back against the back of the couch. “I was so scared that I’d lose him like I lost Derek, I kept pushing him away, and when that didn’t work, I just completely fucked myself.”

“So, tell him that.” She nudges my knee. “Tell him you were scared. Tell him you’re still scared.”

Silence falls between us, each of us sipping our coffee.

“I am still scared,” I say finally, the words heavy with truth. “He’s a dangerous man who has a dangerous life. I could be that girl who gets a knock on her door telling me he’s dead. That some rival family has killed him.”

She frowns as she turns to face me, draping one arm over the back of the couch.

“All of that is true. So, I guess you have a choice. Do you risk the monumental pain of losing him someday by letting yourself love him now? Or do you protect yourself from a maybe—and risk never having real love again?”

Rolling my head to the side, I sigh. “Do you have any other choices in that bag of yours?”

She laughs, then her eyes go wide. “Shit, that reminds me.”

Max puts her coffee cup down and grabs the bag she left on the floor by her feet. “I got something of yours in my mail yesterday.”

From the messenger bag, she pulls out a large, padded envelope. There’re three rows of stamps for postage, and it’s taped closed with a thick layer of packing tape.

“What is it?” She follows me to the kitchen as I dig out a pair of scissors.

“Remember I told you Derek’s mother passed a few weeks ago?

His cousin said she left something for me; it’s probably just his baby pictures.

He’d tried to get them from her a few times, but she kept putting him off.

” There are so many layers of tape, I have to basically saw through them to get the envelope open.

“It didn’t feel like pictures. It’s really light, too.” She leans against the counter watching me as I struggle to get the last bit of the envelope open and reach in.

My fingers touch metal. Round metal and my stomach drops.

“It’s a ring,” I say softly, turning the envelope upside down and sliding it out into my palm.

The cabochon-cut emerald, dark and luminous, sits in a clawed silver setting surrounded by delicate threads of silver twisted and soldered into a lace-like patterned band. It’s old—much older than anything I’ve ever seen. There are worn symbols etched into the band on either side of the emerald.

Declan’s ring.

“Is there a note?” She takes the envelope from me, sticking her hand inside and retrieving a card. “Found this in Aunt Marie’s jewelry box with a Post-It note saying it was Derek’s. Thought you might want it.”

“Derek gave this to his mom?” I turn it around my fingers.

“What is it? A family heirloom or something?”

“Yeah.” I take the envelope back and drop the ring inside. “Something like that.”

“Max!” Loud banging in the hallway saves me from any more questions about the ring.

“My brothers. I better go.” She rolls her eyes. “Nicolette is coming over later; if you’re still on house arrest, we’ll come here and watch movies?”

I walk with her to the door.

“Yeah, I’d like that, but I don’t want to ruin your night out.”

She bats the air with her hand. “Don’t worry about that. Her brother has kept his promise to keep two men with her at all times after we went to the club. So, we’re just staying in.”

“Lev’s as overprotective as the rest of them.”

“He’s a pain in the ass is what he is.” She frowns as her brothers bellow for her again.

“I’m here! Stop all the yelling, my neighbors are going to complain again.” She hurries to her apartment with her key.

Her brothers glance my way just as they step inside. An uneasy sensation rushes through me. Max doesn’t talk much about them, but when she does, I get the feeling there’s trouble there.

The apartment door across the hall opens, and Vivek stands in the doorway. His dark expression falls on Max’s door before sweeping back to me.

“I wasn’t trying to leave.” I feel like sticking my tongue out at him but think better of it.

I’m sure everything I do or say to them gets reported to Ivan, and acting like a moping child isn’t going to help my case.

“There was yelling.”

“Just Max’s brothers.”

He glances toward her door again before giving me a firm nod and retreating back into his apartment.

I go inside my apartment and shut the door, taking a look around at my apartment. It’s the cleanest it’s ever been. Having nothing but time on my hands, I have organized and scrubbed every inch of this place. Short of repainting it, it’s practically new.

I’m not sure how much longer I can take this silence. What happened at Obsidian was my fault, I take the blame for it. But how long does he get to punish me for it? Forever?

The longer I think on it, the hotter the embers of anger burn. Why do I have to stay locked away like some misbehaving child? I’m an adult, and he’s acting like a spoiled brat by ghosting me. If he can’t be a grown ass man and face me then I don’t need to follow his stupid instructions.

I quickly shower and throw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. My fridge is almost empty. I’ll walk down to the grocery store and get a few things.

Having worked myself into a proper frenzy, I snatch up my purse and throw my phone inside. Maybe I’ll even walk over to the bookstore a few blocks down and pick up a new book. I have the money now.

Ivan, in his true do-whatever-the-hell-he-wants way, paid off all my debts before he deposited the fifty thousand into my account. So, I have plenty of money to spare.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll even start looking for a new apartment, in a new part of town. I’m going to need a new job, and it’s probably best to start over fresh.

Resolved in my decision, I yank open my door.

“Vee.” Ivan’s brows shoot up.

I scream, surprised to find him standing there. Pressing my hand to my heart to keep it inside my chest, I jump back a step.

“You scared the hell out of me.” I blow out a breath.

He casually steps into my apartment, shutting the door behind himself. The soft click of the lock fires like a gunshot. Leaning back against the door, he crosses his arms. Tilting his head, just slightly, he watches me with the kind of calm that’s anything but. Chaos erupts in my mind.

“Going somewhere?” He nudges his chin in my direction, at the purse strapped over my shoulder, my jacket fisted in my hand.

“I—” My mind blanks.

Where was I going?

“You haven’t responded to me, or called, and I needed things.” I hang my jacket back on the coat hook and drop my purse on the small table by the door with my keys. “I needed groceries.”

There! My brain started again.

“It took a few days to deal with things,” he says, quietly, dangerously.

“Caroline? I was able to get the guy across the hall to at least tell me she was alive, but he hasn’t had anything else to tell me since.”

“She’s doing better, but she was badly hurt.” His brow wrinkles. “She’s decided to move back home with her older sister.”

“When?”

“This morning. I just came from the airport.”

“You didn’t come get me so I could talk to her?” Anger rises up again. “You can’t keep punishing me like this! You can’t keep people from me.”

“I wasn’t.” He pushes off the door. “It was her decision, Vee. She just wanted to go home, and she said she’d call you once she’s settled.”

Caroline left the small suburban town her family lives in because she’d been tired of the simplicity of it. The city was more exciting, had more opportunities. Right now, that simplicity will help her heal, I suppose.

“I’m not punishing you,” he adds.

There’s something in his tone, a heavy sadness that wrenches me. It hurts, looking at him. Hearing him hurts.

“Ivan—”

“I have a meeting out of town,” he cuts me off. “I’ll be gone for a few days. Vivek and his men will stay across the hall until I’m back.”

“What happens then? When you’re back?” I can feel him pulling away, and all I want to do is reach out and grab him. To hold him here before he slips any further away.

“They’ll leave the apartment, and you’ll be free.” He pauses, clears his throat. “Free to do what you want. If you need something, he’s your contact.”

Panic grips my heart, squeezing until it can barely beat. He’s giving up on me— on us.

“Ivan, I know what I did?—”

“You didn’t do anything, Vee. You’ve been clear all along, and I wasn’t listening.” His shoulders roll back.

“No, Ivan. You were?—”

“I’ll have groceries sent over this afternoon.” He cuts me off, not interested in my reasons, my true intentions.

I don’t want groceries! I want you!

There’s distance between us now. A wall. A thick, stone wall that I built with my secrets and my constant pushing him away.

“That would be good. Thank you.” Every word makes my soul scream, but I shut it off. “Kieran not returning might make Declan curious.”

“It won’t.” He slips his hands into the front pockets of his trousers. “We did some digging. Declan’s been ousted, he’s not the head of anything anymore. I’m not positive he’s even alive. Kieran’s been hiding out here. Him running into you was completely a coincidence.”

“So, there’s no danger then. From the O’Brien family, at least.” A small weight lifts from my chest, but not enough to make breathing any easier. That won’t happen until Ivan touches me, or smiles at me, or does anything that suggests I haven’t completely lost him.

“I doubt it.” He glances around the space. “It’s being looked at, but nothing points at trouble with the Irish.”

It feels different than the first time he was here. He’s not judging or inspecting. This time he seems as though he’s committing the place to memory. Like it’s the last time he’ll see it and wants to remember it.

He turns on his heel, like he’s getting ready to walk out. To leave me.

“I’m really sorry, Ivan.” Tears build, and my words pour out.

“I should have gone straight to you when Kieran texted me. I have a lot of excuses for why I did what I did, but in the end, it was fear. I was afraid for Caroline and me and you, and I just…I was afraid of trusting you, of losing you if something went wrong.”

He stops. His body goes rigid. “It’s all right, Vee.”

“No. It’s not, and I’m sorry.”

He drops his chin to his chest, casting me with a side-glance. His decision’s been made.

“Vivek will let you know when he’s done across the hall. Two days, tops.” He grabs the handle on the door. “The groceries will be here within the hour.”

My throat dries. Air refuses to enter my lungs.

Ivan steps out of my apartment, shutting the door quietly behind him, taking my soul with him. Pain, raw and all-consuming, bursts through me.

I sink onto the couch, my chest heaving as I try to suck in air. It’s too hard. It’s too much. I blink away the tears, but more come, and then a tsunami of them.

I’ve ruined everything. I’ve been so afraid of losing him, I pushed him away.

How am I supposed to live now, when he left with my heart in his pocket?