Page 23 of Devil on Skates

IRINA

I GO THROUGH MY MORNING routine without even thinking. As I stare out the window at a view I never picked, I wait for the coffee machine to finish. Yet another day of pretending and keeping my real feelings locked away.

Costello had this place set up within hours after our agreement . It’s in the building just across from Keith. Definitely close enough for visits, but still far enough away to try to pretend that I’m independent. The guards try to be discreet, making sure I stick to the rules of the arrangement.

My phone buzzes with Keith’s morning text. He’s punctual as always and careful to sound sweet but ends up totally emotionless.

Good morning. We’ll have dinner together. Wear something nice.

At least he’s busy today, so I have until dinner. Maybe I can study a little, even though I don’t feel like it, especially because my education is on hold right now. I type him a quick reply.

Looking forward to it.

Contact made, expectations set, and roles locked in place. If it weren’t all so hollow, it’d almost be impressive. I think back to the time I spent with Xavier, and everything seems empty in comparison.

Xavier. The mention of his name is enough to make my chest constrict. That ache never fully goes away, no matter how much I try to shove it down. Every day without any contact feels like a betrayal. But it’s what I have to do to protect his future, even if it hurts.

I keep tabs on his career from afar. His suspension got lifted way earlier than expected, and he’s back on the ice.

Costello’s influence is doing its job, turning what could’ve been a career-ending mess into a second chance.

The contract’s probably waiting, as long as Xavier shows he’s back under control and not a risk.

But honestly, it’s all just too much. My silence is probably hurting Xavier, and I’m losing parts of who I am just to keep up the act.

Still, the alternative is far worse. Letting Xavier lose the dream he’s chased since he was a kid... How could I pick my own happiness over that?

Besides, my dad’s probably right, and I let everyone down eventually.

I didn’t live up to what he wanted from me with the Costellos, or what Keith expected from a proper girlfriend, and I’m only doing it now because I was forced into it.

I probably would’ve failed Xavier too, once reality got in the way of our crazy connection.

At least this way, my failure has a purpose. My misery buys him a real chance at going pro, and my sacrifice keeps his dream alive.

That’s how I survive every day as I post staged photos to show that I’m okay with Keith. We’re going to the right places and I flash fake smiles when I have to. I’ve gotten good at pretending to be happy while staying distant inside.

Keith seems fine with it too, and I have no idea if he realizes or even cares that I’m faking it. He accepts my act without digging deeper, content with the surface. Relationships like these are more about appearances than real feelings anyway.

I PICK OUT THE DRESS Keith said he liked and simple jewelry that says classy but isn’t too much. After making sure my makeup’s done just right, I look the part. The coach’s daughter and the perfect girlfriend for some future business big shot.

Underneath all that, the real me is locked away, confused, hurting, and furious about being pushed into a fake life. But the real me doesn’t get to speak here.

Keith shows up exactly on time. When I open the door, he looks me up and down like he’s checking off a list, then gives me the usual kiss on the cheek, which is expected and meaningless.

“You look perfect,” he says. “We should head out now to beat the traffic.”

In the car, we run through the usual chatter about his studies, his dad’s business, and the social events we should consider. I say just enough to seem interested.

Once we get to the restaurant, the host spots Keith right away and leads us to the best table with views of the whole place and the street outside.

I pretend to care about the menu and nod along as Keith orders wine. It’s exhausting, but I can’t imagine dropping the act, because Xavier’s career depends on it.

“Everything okay?” Keith asks after ordering for both of us.

I used to find that annoying, but now I barely react. “I’m tired.”

“Your sleep schedule is a disaster. Fix it. Rest’s important for your brain and, well, your looks.”

His concern is really about me looking the part, and not about me feeling okay. He wants to disguise control as care.

“I’ll try,” I say, forcing a smile.

“Good. My dad said you seemed withdrawn last weekend. We need to look like a team, especially with those upcoming networking events.”

Ah, of course. His dad has a bunch of people watching my every move, as if the Costellos are a royal family. They probably believe they are, though.

“I’m sorry if I let your dad down,” I say, keeping my tone pleasant, even though I want to clench my jaw.

“You didn’t. It’s just an observation,” Keith says, giving me what is supposed to be a charming smile. “He’s just invested in our success.”

Invested. Success. The Costellos really look at everything as if it was a business deal.

When the appetizers come, my mind flies to the time when Xavier and I were eating takeout in his dorm, laughing without any scripts and just being ourselves. With Xavier, I was real. With Keith, I’m like a puppet on a string.

“There’s a hockey game this weekend,” Keith says casually, but there’s something else in his voice.

“Oh?”

“It should be a good game.” He watches me carefully. “We should go and support your dad.”

My heart skips a beat as I stare at him. Watching Xavier play is going to hurt like hell. And doing it while pretending to be with Keith will be pure torture for both of us.

“Why should we go?” I ask, trying to sound as normal as possible, even though I’m freaking out. “I mean, won’t it be weird—?”

I had to profusely apologize to Keith to get him to take me back, and I promised him I wouldn’t go anywhere near Xavier again. He’s not supposed to know about my deal with his dad, but maybe he does, because this is weird.

“And why not?” A sly smile curves his lips. “Come on, your dad’s the coach. Supporting your family feels great, doesn’t it?”

It sounds reasonable, but something’s off.

“I’m not really sure,” I say, testing how far I can push back.

His face goes deadly serious, the nice guy act slipping away. “Well, we’re going. Your dad was already told and he expects it, and my dad has arranged great seats for us.”

It’s not a question anymore. It’s an order.

“Let him watch,” Keith says. “Let him see what he lost... and what he’ll never get back.”

My lips part. This isn’t about family support or love for hockey. It’s about owning me and hurting Xavier in a new way.

“That’s a little petty, don’t you think?” I say, curling my fingers into fists under the table.

“Petty?” He laughs. “Maybe, but he messed with us, embarrassed me, and fought over you like some caveman. He deserves to suffer some consequences.”

I grit my teeth, but I can’t let Keith see just how mad I am. Is this a test for me or something else? Did Costello buy us tickets for this particular game for a reason? What if it’s supposed to be the game that changes everything for Xavier?

If he messes things up again, he’ll lose the contract. Since he’ll do it all on his own, it won’t be Costello’s fault. Costello will still expect me to honor our deal, but all the sacrifice will be for nothing.

The cage I’m in just became a lot smaller. I’m definitely not Keith’s partner. I’m a pawn.

“Okay,” I say, because it’s all I can do.

Keith’s winning smile makes me want to punch him. “Good, but don’t wear the team’s colors.”

Of course even what I’ll wear is already decided for me.

Going to that game is a nightmare waiting to happen.

If Xavier sees me with Keith, who knows how he’ll react?

It could trigger him and he could do something really bad.

And if that happens, we’re both screwed.

I’ll have given up real love and my freedom for nothing.

No, I have to keep up with my pretense and hope like hell that Xavier won’t see me or react.