Page 11 of Devil on Skates
IRINA
I GET TO THE COFFEE shop where I’m supposed to meet with my mom about fifteen minutes early and grab a corner table, away from the crowd.
I check my phone, mindlessly scrolling through social media but avoiding Xavier’s message, which I still haven’t deleted.
You can run, but I’ll always find you.
I should be freaking out because that sounds like a threat, but I keep reading it over and over again and feeling this weird rush that’s all kinds of wrong.
“Irina! Honey!” My mom’s voice cuts through the noise, making heads turn.
She never really blends in. Her designer sunglasses sit on top of her perfectly highlighted hair, and her stylish coat and high heels are out of place in here.
I stand to hug her, catching a whiff of that familiar mix of expensive perfume and cigarette smoke that she thinks nobody notices. “Hey, Mom. You look great.”
“And you look tired,” she says, eyeing me like she always does. “Are you eating okay? Sleeping enough?”
“I’m fine. It’s just the exam time,” I say on autopilot as we sit down. “How’s Owen? And the house renovations?”
She launches into stories about her life with her new family. Ever since she got remarried a few years ago, we’ve been seeing each other less and less, but she always tries to pay me a visit whenever she can.
She gives me all the details about the kitchen remodeling, Owen’s golf tournaments, and the social scene in their gated community. I nod along, asking the right questions, while my mind keeps drifting back to Xavier’s message, Keith’s coldness, and all the messy complications I’m tangled in.
“Enough about me,” she says, reaching across the table to take my hand. “Your dad mentioned you’re seeing someone. Keith? Noel Costello’s son?”
Of course she knows. Dad must have presented it like it’s a done deal, not the awkward getting-to-know-each-other stage it actually is.
“We’re just... figuring each other out,” I say.
“And? How is he? Your dad says he’s pretty mature for his age.”
“He’s... polite, smart, and focused on his future.”
My mom’s perfectly shaped eyebrows furrow, and I can tell she’s picked up on my hesitation. “That sounds more like someone you’re planning to hire for a job rather than a boyfriend.”
“We’re not really at the boyfriend stage, I guess.” I stare into my cooling coffee. “Just seeing if we click.”
“ Seeing if we click ,” she repeats, narrowing her dark eyes at me. “Sounds just like something your dad would say. Is this your relationship, or is he pulling the strings again?”
My lips part in surprise. My parents have never criticized each other openly around me after the divorce, but I’m familiar enough with their fights to sense the strain between them. Dad’s rigid control versus Mom’s craving for spontaneity.
“It’s not like that,” I say, although even I don’t really believe it. “Dad just introduced us. He thinks Keith’s good for me.”
“And what do you think?” She leans in, her eyes intense. “Does this guy make your heart race? Do you think about him when he’s not around? Or is this just another one of the things your dad is trying to force?”
My heart rate speeds up. I don’t want to stir up the old family drama, since I still remember the raised voices and the heavy silences all too well.
“Mom, it’s not like that. Keith’s nice. We’re just figuring things out.”
“ Nice .” She curls her mouth. “I married nice once. You deserve passion, honey. Real connection. Is your dad forcing you into this?”
“No!” I say too fast. “He’s excited about it, but he’s not forcing anything.”
Her face softens a little. “Oh, honey. You’re trying to keep the peace, just like when you were a kid.”
I sigh. Countless times, I’ve adjusted who I am just to keep the peace. How much of who I am is me? And how much is just a mask to avoid fights?
“I don’t want any drama,” I say quietly. “Dad thinks Keith’s a good choice for my future, and maybe he’s right. The Costellos have connections that could help my career.”
“Your career as a physical therapist?” She raises an eyebrow. “Somehow I doubt it. They’re more interested in investments and things like that.”
I look down, avoiding her gaze. “It’s complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be.” She covers my hand with hers. “Honey, look at me.”
I force myself to meet her eyes.
“You don’t have to live your life for your dad’s plans. Trust me, I did that for way too long, and let me tell you something. It doesn’t work.”
“It’s different for me,” I say. “Dad’s been supportive of my education, even after the accident—”
“Those aren’t gifts if they come with strings attached,” she interrupts. “If he’s using money to control your life, that’s manipulation and not generosity.”
“It’s not that simple, Mom.”
“It never is.” She sighs and squeezes my hand before letting go. “Just... try to enjoy this time. College should be about exploring who you are, not just ticking boxes for your dad. Date someone who makes you happy and excited, not someone who looks good on paper.”
Little does she know, she’s pinpointed the very thing I’m struggling with—the pull and the excitement that I feel for someone my dad would hate.
“I’ll try,” I say, meaning something very different from what she thinks.
She studies me, her gaze piercing. “Is there someone else? Someone who’s not Mr. Perfect Resume?”
My cheeks burn before I can stop it. “No,” I say way too quickly. “There’s no one else.”
“Are you sure?” Her lips curve slightly. “Because that blush says otherwise.”
“I’m sure,” I insist, but the image of Xavier and the way he pinned me against the wall and kissed me flashes through my mind. “I just wish I had more freedom to figure things out without all these expectations.”
“That’s all I want for you. The freedom I never had.” She glances at her phone. “I should go. Owen’s expecting me for lunch with some business people.”
As we get up, she hugs me tightly. “Remember, honey, your life belongs to you, and not to your dad. Don’t waste your youth trying to be someone you’re not.”
As I watch her leave, I let out a sigh. Easy for her to say when she’s with her new family. She doesn’t have to deal with Dad’s quiet pressure and his way of making me feel both loved and not quite enough at the same time.
My phone buzzes with a message from someone I don’t recognize.
Party at my place Tuesday night. Hope you can make it.
There’s also an image of a map with the location. Is this Xavier’s doing? I check the sender’s profile. A hockey player. One of Xavier’s teammates.
Another message pops up on my screen.
Andrei invited you to his party yet? Bring Keith. It’s a good chance to socialize with your peers and have some fun.
Wow, so it wasn’t Xavier who made Andrei invite me to the party.
It was my dad. This is beyond embarrassing.
I can’t believe he actually told his player to invite his daughter to a party, because I doubt Andrei asked him if he could do it.
My cheeks burn just thinking about the awkwardness of that situation and Andrei not being able to refuse.
A small party that’s supposed to feel like freedom is now just another thing my dad is making me do.
For a wild second, I think about texting Mom and asking if I can transfer to a college near her, crash in her guest room, and escape my dad’s control. But the idea evaporates almost instantly from my mind.
Owen tolerates me during holidays but isn’t exactly welcoming, and Dad would see that move as the ultimate betrayal, like me walking away from the path he’s backed all along. Besides, Owen’s two young kids would probably feel like I was disrupting their lives.
My mom told me my life was mine, and not my dad’s.
If only it were that easy, because my life’s never really been mine.
Being the only kid of divorced parents who want completely different things means I’ve learned to switch versions of myself depending on who I need approval from.
With Dad, I’m ambitious and focused. With Mom, more creative and emotional.
Neither feels a hundred percent real, but neither feels totally fake either. I live in the gray area between their expectations.
And now there’s Xavier, the guy who apparently sees through all that. And he wants me for me and isn’t afraid to chase me, despite me being his coach’s daughter.
But he scares me and thrills me at the same time. If I let myself explore what’s happening between us, I risk everything. My dad’s approval, my funding, and maybe even my future career could be at risk.
I need to get Xavier out of my head, even though I don’t know how.
Will he be at the party? Probably. But I’ll be with Keith, unless I get really lucky and he refuses my invitation because he’s still upset about the book, so I can just stay at home.
Too bad I don’t believe in luck anymore.