Page 42

I must have drifted off because the next thing I knew, soft gray light was filtering through the curtains. I blinked groggily, momentarily disoriented by the unfamiliar weight of an arm draped across my waist and the steady breathing against my neck.

Oh. Right. That happened.

I shifted slightly, checking the position of the shadows on the wall. Dawn had barely broken—we’d slept for only a few hours. My body ached pleasantly in places I didn’t know could ache, a physical reminder of the night’s activities.

Anderic stirred behind me, his arm tightening around my waist. “Morning,” he mumbled, voice rough with sleep as he pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

“Is it?” I yawned. “Feels more like the middle of the night.”

His chuckle vibrated against my back. “Always so particular about details.”

“Someone has to be,” I replied, but there was no bite to my words.

We melted into each other again, this time with none of last night’s frantic need. Instead, we savored every touch, every whispered breath. When we finally stilled, our limbs intertwined like vines, both of us reluctant to face the day and its looming complications.

“We should get up,” I finally sighed, tracing patterns on his chest. “We have a long ride ahead.”

“Five more minutes,” he murmured, capturing my wandering hand and bringing it to his lips.

“If I give you five minutes, you’ll take twenty,” I said, reluctantly extracting myself from his arms. “And who knows, Lennox might return with the news at any moment.”

The mention of Lennox and the implicit reminder of Callum’s disappearance was like a bucket of cold water. Reality came rushing back—the danger at the mines, Commander Maxwell waiting for us, and my secrets still unshared.

We dressed in comfortable silence, stealing glances at each other across the room. The intimacy of the night lingered between us, a fragile new thing I wasn’t quite ready to examine in the harsh light of day.

Anderic crossed the room to where I stood, his footsteps soft against the wooden floor. He cupped my face between his palms, the gentle pressure of his thumbs against my cheekbones making my heart ache.

“I love you,” he whispered, his blue eyes searching mine with an intensity that made me want to both melt and run. His words hung in the air between us, beautiful and terrible all at once.

He can’t. He doesn’t. This isn’t real.

The doubts that had lurked in the darkest corners of my mind since we first kissed rushed forward, an unstoppable tide. I looked down, unable to bear the sincerity in his gaze, and pushed his hands away.

“Don’t,” I whispered, trying to turn away.

His fingers caught mine, warm and steady. “Lya?” Uncertainty colored his voice for perhaps the first time since I’d known him.

Something broke inside me. Tears spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them, hot and shameful. “No, Anderic. You don’t. You can’t.” The words tumbled out, each one sharper than the last. “How could you possibly love me when you don’t even know who I am?”

“Then tell me.” He didn’t try to wipe away my tears, just held my hand like it was something precious. “I’m right here. I’ll listen.”

“You’ll hate me.” My voice cracked. “You’ll think I’m mad. You’ll leave, and I—” I swallowed hard, the truth rising like a tidal wave. “I can’t bear to live without you.”

Anderic guided me to sit on the edge of the bed, never letting go of my hand. “Try me.”

I took a deep, shuddering breath. “You asked once why I know so many things.” My eyes met his, and for once, I didn’t try to hide the fear in them. “It’s because I’ve lived through this before.”

His brow furrowed, but he remained silent, waiting.

“I died, Anderic. I…I was living in the fringes with my mother and Sebastian aft…after my father’s execution.

I did horrible things, things I’m ashamed of.

I know that now, but I didn’t at the time.

I regret everything, Anderic. We were barely living there.

Every day was a struggle. We never had enough food.

But we were slowly getting used to it. And I thought we would be fine. ” The words just tumbled out of me.

“But Commander Maxwell’s soldiers came for us.

” The memories flashed behind my eyes—blood on snow, my mother’s screams. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath; the images were too vivid in my mind.

I started to pace. “I swear we didn’t do anything, but…

in the end we all died. Me. Sebastian. Mother.

Everyone. And then suddenly, I was back at the altar, about to marry Noah.

I don’t know how it happened, but it did. ”

Anderic’s face remained carefully neutral. “Lya. Look at me.”

I paused in my pacing and looked at him. His voice calmed me enough to think. I was rambling, not making any sense.

“Take a breath and tell me everything.”

And I did. I told him everything. Every detail. Everything I had done. “…that’s why I need to change everything. I need to stop history from repeating itself.”

All the while, Anderic listened without saying anything. No muscle moved in his face; he was still as a portrait. I was sure he hated me by now. “Everything?”

“My father… he hired the Red Cross Gang. He paid them to sabotage Lord Magnus. But he did it because of me. Because I wanted to marry Noah.” Shame burned in my throat. But I had to admit the truth. “I was horrible, Anderic. A villain in every sense. I destroyed lives for my own ambition.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m trying to stop it all from happening again.

I have to save my father from execution and my family from exile.

” I squeezed his hand desperately. “You have to believe me Anderic. I know what he did was despicable, but someone else was manipulating everything and took advantage of my father. Gareth had a big role to play in this. He even backstabbed my father. My father isn’t fully innocent, but he didn’t deserve death. Please.”

Silence stretched between us. Anderic remained perfectly still, his silence louder than any words could have been.

“You always asked me how I knew so much; it’s because I’ve lived through this once,” I continued, words spilling out faster now.

“So I knew when Prince Callum came what his real goal was, and I know better than anyone about the mines. But I didn’t know—” My voice broke.

“I didn’t know I’d fall in love with you. That wasn’t part of my first life.”

Still, Anderic said nothing, his expression unreadable.

The silence stretched between us like a chasm. Then, to my horror, Anderic’s shoulders began to shake. A low chuckle escaped his lips, growing into incredulous laughter as he ran his hands through his golden curls.

“Time travel? Death and resurrection?” He threw his head back, his laughter taking on a bitter edge. “That’s what you come up with?”

“Anderic—”

He held up a hand, cutting me off. “If you didn’t want to be with me, Ilyana, you could have just said so.” His voice cracked slightly. “You didn’t need to create this… this fantasy.”

My heart plummeted. Of all the reactions I’d imagined—anger, disbelief, even disgust—I never thought he’d doubt my feelings for him.

“No, that’s not—”

“Was it all for your father?” Anderic paced the room, gesturing wildly. “Did you sleep with me just to save him? Because you didn’t need to go that far, Ilyana. I had already fallen for you.” His laugh was hollow. “Congratulations. You won. Whatever your game was, you won.”

“There is no game!” My voice rose with desperation.

“I should have known better.” He spoke more to himself than to me, rubbing his face roughly. “Falling for you wasn’t in the plan, but somehow I did. Everyone calls me ruthless, but even I was outsmarted by the minister’s cunning daughter.”

“You think I’m lying about loving you?” The accusation stung worse than if he’d slapped me.

Of all the things I expected him to say, it wasn’t this .

“I know how it sounds, Anderic. I knew you wouldn’t believe anything I said.

That’s why I hesitated so many times, but how can you doubt what’s between us? ”

“What am I supposed to believe?” His eyes flashed. “That you died and came back in time, or that you’ve been manipulating me all along?”

“Yes! I mean no—not the manipulation part.” I stepped toward him, hands trembling. “I know I hid things from you. I know I’ve been secretive and difficult, and it’s infuriating. But in all of this mess, my love for you is the one true thing.”

“Pretty words from a practiced liar.”

“Damn it, Anderic!” Tears streamed down my face. “Falling for you wasn’t in my plan either. You weren’t even part of my first life! But I fell for you anyway—your insufferable arrogance, your unexpected kindness, even your stupid golden curls!”

His jaw tightened. “Then why tell me this impossible story now? Why not just—”

“Because I can’t bear lying to you anymore!” I shouted. “Because I want you to know all of me, even the parts that make no sense!”

“You expect me to believe—”

“I don’t care if you believe the time travel! Just believe that I love you!”

Anderic stalked toward me, eyes blazing. “How can I trust anything you say when you’ve—”

In a blur of movement, he suddenly lunged forward, grabbing my shoulders and yanking me against his chest. I gasped in surprise as something whistled past my ear, followed by a solid thunk.

We both turned to see an arrow embedded in the wall—exactly where I had been standing.

“What the—” Anderic’s arms tightened around me protectively as we both stared at the quivering shaft.

The argument forgotten, we moved as one toward the window, staying low. Someone had just tried to kill one of us—or both. And judging by the precise placement of that arrow, they weren’t planning to miss twice.

The arrow’s shaft still trembled in the wall where my head had been moments before. Anderic’s hand clamped over my mouth, silencing the scream building in my throat. His eyes darted to the window, then back to me.