Page 15 of Destined to the Lycan (The Shadow Realms #3)

“By the gods… it must have been horrible, especially at such a young age,” Amara said, her voice filled with compassion. “But that wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deliberately set out to harm him.”

“I didn’t. But as a pup, Ulric believed that no harm would ever come to him from me because we were brothers. And brothers didn’t hurt each other.”

“But you had no power over your blood sickness!” Amara exclaimed in a self-evident tone.

“I know. But he was just a child. He felt betrayed. And as the adults banned me from seeing him, I never got a chance to explain to him how sorry I was, that I had no control over it, and that I loved him. Instead, he believed that I had poisoned and then abandoned him.”

“No one explained the truth to him!” Amara said, her outrage audible.

I clenched my teeth and shook my head as the old resentment resurfaced.

“Not only did they not explain to him, but they also fueled his anger. They never approved of our friendship. This was their opportunity to put an end to it once and for all. The fact that the other pups bullied him over the following years for being weak and useless to the pack only fanned his rage against me. Seeing me thrive and excel in all things physical while he wasted away made him hate me more.”

“But he looks totally fine now and strong,” Amara argued.

I nodded. “He is indeed fine now, the gods be praised. His mother took him to every witch, healer, and shaman she could find. They eventually fixed him, but it was a long and painful journey. He only survived because he had been healthy and just swallowed a couple of drops. Had he received more, he would have perished.”

Amara frowned, seeming to struggle with something.

“I can understand why he might have resented you as a child. But I’m confused as to why he still hates you so much today. Are you sure he doesn’t resent you for being stronger still?”

I pursed my lips and carefully gave the matter a second thought.

“Honestly, I don’t know. People have taunted him about the fact that the ‘cursed wolf’ is better than him, and how they will have to settle for the lesser Alpha.

But this type of mockery isn’t uncommon.

Lycans can be total jerks in the way we jest with each other.

He did get mad about it once and challenged me to a duel, which I won. ”

“Thus proving the rumors right,” my mate said softly.

I sighed heavily, feeling defeated. “Maybe I should have let him win.”

“No,” Amara said forcefully, taking me aback.

“Had you done that, and anyone had noticed, it would have been even more humiliating for him. It’s better that Ulric faces the truth.

In the end, he remains stronger than everyone else, including the idiots who try to rile him up.

Any way you cut it, there’s always someone better than we are out there.

I just find his resentment of you to be petty. ”

“Do not think too ill of him,” I said softly, then smiled at her stunned expression.

“As aggravated as I am at times by his behavior towards me, I do not hate him. Ulric is a good man in spite of it all. He’s just deeply hurt and feels betrayed because of the poison everyone fed him during the hardest time of his life.

He was my friend when I had none. In my heart, he will always be my brother. I still miss him.”

“You have a good heart,” Amara said pensively with an odd glimmer in her eyes. “Do you think your relationship can ever be mended?”

I shrugged while putting away the remaining food. “No clue. But the door remains open as far as I’m concerned. That said, we should probably turn in for the night. I want us to head out at first light.”

My mate nodded. She rose to her feet and headed for one of her bags, which sat on the left platform used as a makeshift bed.

She rummaged through it and retrieved an off-white, thick candle with dark specks.

To my surprise, she placed it on the stone table.

I eyed her with curiosity, confused by her actions.

As we were preparing to sleep, it struck me as strange to add more lighting sources when I’d been about to snuff the torches.

Amara traced the runic pattern carved on the candle with her index finger while whispering an incantation. She then waved her hand above it, the wick instantly catching fire. She uttered another incantation before turning back to me with a satisfied smile.

“You’re a witch?” I asked, surprised.

She gave me a stunned look, then shook her head with an amused expression. “Not at all. I’m just a chandler and perfumer.”

“Okay, that was also my understanding. Seeing you casting a spell threw me,” I said, still confused.

“That’s because, over the years, the demand for witch candles has grown exponentially.

So I learned candle magic and some basic spells to imbue my candles with unique properties.

My mother disapproves,” she added, scrunching her face.

“She’s very reluctant about anything to do with the arcane. But that’s a story for another time.”

“What does this candle do?” I asked, my curiosity piqued.

“It’s a Wayfarer’s Candle made of beeswax and a centaur’s hoof dust,” she explained. “It helps with walking, running, healing leg injuries, and restoring weary travelers. We’ll feel a bit more refreshed in the morning.”

“That’s excellent,” I said approvingly.

“We’ll need it,” she added while casting a less-than-impressed look at the rock slabs that served as beds.

I mentally berated myself again for not bringing the mat regardless. We could have left it at the inn. But we were already overly burdened.

Shifting uneasily on my feet, I scratched my nape.

“The rocks are indeed quite hard and uncomfortable for humans to sleep on,” I said carefully. “I could offer you an alternative, but I don’t want you to think me too bold.”

“Oh?” she said, perking up. “What alternative would that be?”

I cleared my throat, feeling ridiculously self-conscious. “Normally, when Lycans sleep in the wild, we do so in our wolf form. We’re quite massive and furry. It would be a lot more comfortable and warmer for you than that stone slab,” I said, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Amara’s eyes widened. “Are you offering for me to use you as a mattress?”

“Only if you wish,” I said quickly. “I’m not trying to be weird or anything.”

Seeing her chuckle immediately quelled the panic that wanted to rear its head.

“It’s okay. I don’t think you’re being weird. But now I’m curious as I have indeed heard that your wolves are huge. Can I see?”

The eagerness in her voice sent a warm feeling spreading through my chest.

“Gladly. But I must strip out of my clothes first so as not to ruin them,” I added sheepishly.

“Right, that makes sense. I’ll just turn around while you do,” she said enthusiastically before spinning around.

A part of me regretted that she did. Lycans had no problem with nudity.

We regularly stripped in front of each other before shifting and strutted about naked after reverting to our human form following a hunt.

Another part was just grateful that she seemed so comfortable around me when people usually feared us because of all the rumors about us being feral.

I swiftly stripped out of my clothes. Before I even finished, my blood stirred again, my skin heating as my woman’s scent shifted ever so slightly. It wasn’t full on arousal, but the thought of me naked behind her excited my female.

This was a good sign for the future.

“Just so you know,” I added quickly before initiating the shift, “once in my wolf form, I can’t speak. I’ll understand everything you say, and I remain fully sentient. I just won’t be able to form human words.”

“Understood,” Amara said, stopping herself in extremis from glancing at me over her shoulder.

I almost said that wolves could communicate telepathically with each other, and that the day we bonded, she would gain the ability to hear me as a wolf. But this would be a conversation for a later time.

The familiar pain of the shift washed over me.

A soft gasp escaped my woman when the sound of my bones cracking and rearranging themselves reached her ears.

I’d grown so used to it that I no longer paid attention to it.

But now, I realized how scary and ominous it likely sounded to a human, especially isolated as we were, and with her not seeing the transformation that was causing it.

She shuddered, and hugged her waist, but remained still, looking away from me.

The transformation only took a few seconds, but I didn’t doubt it felt like an eternity to her. I emitted a soft growl followed by a whine to let her know I was ready. Amara started turning around, her slow movement clearly designed to give me a chance to balk if I needed more time.

Her jaw dropped, and her mesmerized look as she took in my wolf form turned me upside down.

“By the gods!” she whispered. “You’re magnificent!”

Pride swelled within me, and I puffed out my chest as I carefully approached her. She met me halfway without hesitation. No words could describe how it felt for her to fully accept me in both forms.

My throat constricted when she instinctively raised her right hand to caress this side of my neck. She no sooner started touching me than she yanked her hand back, a mix of shock and guilt on her face.

I emitted a growling purr and stretched my neck in a way that made it clear she could go right ahead and pet me.

There was something magical about our wolf form.

People either feared us or immediately melted with the need to hug and pet us like they would with a dog.

Even though their minds understood that we were still a person, the natural restraint one showed another individual just vanished.

Amara giggled and reached out for my neck again. Nine Hells, I could have died right there and then when the softness of her hand stroked my dark fur with a reverence that wrecked me. I wanted to feel her hands all over me, to be claimed as her mate.

My purring growl grew louder, making her bolder in the way she petted me. To my dismay, she pulled away too soon.

“Now I see why you offered for me to ride you. You’re as big as a pony, but prettier and definitely fluffier,” she said in an amused tone.

I made a chuffing sound in lieu of laughter.

I rubbed the side of my snout against the back of her hand then jumped on top of one of the slabs used as beds.

I settled down sideways. Amara smiled, then walked around the room, waving her hand in front of the runes below each sconce to snuff the magic fire.

The room fell into nearly complete darkness, aside from the flickering flame of the Wayfarer’s Candle in the middle of the table.

Heart pounding, I watched my female come to me.

Without hesitation, she climbed onto the slab and snuggled deeply against me.

My chest constricted as a wave of affection and almost rabid possessiveness crashed over me.

I wrapped my paws around her, drawing her more tightly against me, my fluffy tail settling over her like a blanket.

A loud purr vibrated in my mate’s throat.

“Oh yeah, you’re far more comfortable than that slab of rock. I can get used to this,” she whispered.

Fate willing, she would.