Page 14 of Destined to the Lycan (The Shadow Realms #3)

A wave of heat rushed to my cheeks, which felt on the verge of bursting into flames. I squirmed on my seat, and scratched my nape, feeling mortified.

“That idiot speaks out of turn,” I grumbled. “He needs to learn to mind his own business.”

“Are you saying that he lied?” she pressed, clearly unwilling to let it go.

I wanted to drop the topic, especially since her face was impossible to read. What if I gave the wrong answer? What if I confessed and it turned her off?

“I’m just saying that it’s not important,” I replied evasively.

“It is important to me ,” Amara said, her voice hardening slightly.

I inwardly cursed Ulric to the darkest pit of the Nine Hells as my mind raced to find a suitable answer.

“Amara, I will do everything in my power to get you to the cure and to protect you from any harm, including from myself,” I said, choosing my words carefully.

My stomach dropped at the way her face closed off, her air of disappointment cutting me deeper than the sharpest knife. I heaved a sigh, and my shoulders slouched in defeat. This was not how I wanted to broach the topic of the bond that united us.

“My physiological reactions in your presence say that you are indeed my Twin Flame,” I mumbled, my eyes lowered in shame.

I braced for an outraged outburst that never came. My whole life, I’d been told that it would be blasphemy and even criminal for one such as I to take a mate, and worse still, to reproduce.

“See? It wasn’t that hard,” Amara said in a soft voice.

Stunned, I flicked my gaze up to lock eyes with her. My jaw dropped at finding her smiling almost timidly at me.

“Is that why you agreed to help me?” she prodded further, tilting her head to the side.

Still flabbergasted by her reaction, I nodded absent-mindedly. “Mostly, yes. Although I would have likely tried to convince you to go a different route had you not been set on this mission by the Weaver.”

“So without those two factors, you would have turned me down like the others?” she insisted.

In that instant, I realized this line of questioning went beyond merely confirming a rumor she heard.

My mate was assessing the type of male I was.

I quelled my instinctive reaction to try and guess what answer she wanted from me.

If Fate meant for us to be together, we would fall in love with who we were, and not who we pretended to be.

“Your being my Twin Flame means I would do anything in my power for you. But had you not been, I would have still tried to help you. I probably wouldn’t go to the same extremes that I’m willing to go to for you.

But I honestly cannot say for certain what I would have done.

What I can say without a doubt is that, without the Weaver’s involvement, I don’t think I would have agreed to go all the way.

Even now it feels like an insane undertaking,” I admitted.

Amara pursed her lips and slowly nodded as she weighed my words. “I understand. Truth be told, I came here believing no one would agree. So I’m glad you did.”

I gave her a timid smile, and a somewhat awkward silence settled between us. By the way she was looking at me, my mate seemed to expect me to say something more. I cleared my throat and went for it.

“Does it bother you that we are… fated?” I asked carefully, bracing for her response.

To my shock, Amara smiled, that same air of adorable shyness creeping back onto her beautiful face. She shook her head.

“Not at all. In truth, I find it very flattering,” she said sheepishly. “You’re a very handsome male. And by all accounts, wolf flames are extremely loyal and very protective of their mates. What woman wouldn’t want that for herself?”

“I am sick,” I challenged.

She shrugged. “So am I.”

“But you won’t be once we heal you,” I argued.

“ If we heal me,” she countered.

“ When we heal you,” I said sternly while giving her a disapproving stare.

She chuckled and bowed her head in concession. “ When we’ve healed me, we’ll figure out a way to heal you .”

I gave her a sad smile. “Unfortunately, there doesn’t appear to be a cure for me. The Weaver wouldn’t even see me.”

Amara waved a dismissive hand. “Because it wasn’t the right time. After all, she sent me to you. It cannot be a coincidence.”

As much as I didn’t want to allow myself false hope, I couldn’t help it taking root deep in my heart.

“Ultimately, Fate will decide,” I replied in a non-committal fashion.

She nodded, her gaze going out of focus as she reflected on something before returning her attention to me with a speculative glimmer in her dark eyes.

“Assuming that our mission succeeds, and that we do like each other, would we be able to lead a normal life together?”

My heart leapt, and a powerful emotion nearly choked me that she seemed so open to a possible future with me.

“I’m normal in most ways,” I replied a little too eagerly. “If we built a life together, I would only be away on the night of the full moon, and we also couldn’t have pups.”

My mate pensively chewed her bottom lip and slowly nodded again. “I remember you mentioning something about your seed, as did Ulric.”

My anger flared at the wretched male’s interference in my personal affairs. But I silenced it. Now wasn’t the time to let him ruin what could potentially be the beginning of the rest of my life.

“Correct. Exposure to my seed and my blood would be dangerous. But everything else is safe,” I confirmed.

“Then we’ll just be a normal couple who uses protection,” Amara said matter-of-factly.

I stared at her in awe, too many emotions clashing within me.

She looked so reserved and demure that I never expected she would so openly discuss such matters with me.

But once again, it was the ease with which she seemed to accept that we were indeed meant for each other that took my breath away.

Obviously, she was no more in love with me than I was with her as we’d just met.

And yet, she was acknowledging our bond like any other Lycan would, even though she couldn’t feel the same physiological responses I did.

Whatever the reason, I welcomed it.

“Yes, we will be,” I said, embarrassed by the emotion audible in my voice.

She smiled again, but it quickly faded as a frown creased her forehead. “I’m curious though as to why Ulric hates you so much.”

I flinched, the sorrow I had pushed back down years ago rearing its head again.

“It’s a long story,” I said dismissively.

She raised an eyebrow, giving me that look I was starting to recognize, which meant she wouldn’t let me dodge the question.

“We’ve got time,” she deadpanned.

I snorted and nodded in defeat.

She tore another piece of bread with some cheese and began to chew as I gathered my thoughts.

“This whole mess dates back too many years. It started before my birth. Ulric is actually my cousin. You met his father, Rolf, who is the current leader of our pack. Only the Apex Alpha can occupy that role. My mother was Rolf’s sister. He blames my father for killing her, and me as well.”

“You?! But it was the poison that killed her, not the pregnancy!” Amara exclaimed.

“Yes, but that poison was transferred to her through my father’s seed.

And as I grew, the fluid exchange between a mother and her child poisoned her further.

So he’s not entirely wrong, although I was as much a victim in all of this as she and my father were.

For all that, he’s never been mean to me.

But he cannot silence the resentment he felt about it. ”

“I can see that.”

“But he also disliked my father. You see, it isn’t uncommon for the leadership of the pack to pass from father to son.

A competition is held whenever it is time for leadership to change, or if one of the members wants to challenge the Alpha for the position.

My father won against Uncle Rolf. He was our pack leader until his untimely death, which allowed my uncle to ascend. ”

“Which means you would have been the Alpha had your father lived!” Amara said with sudden understanding.

“I would have been first in line for the role and been raised accordingly,” I gently corrected. “I still would have needed to defeat challengers for it, and I actually did. Except, I didn’t want to be the Alpha because of my sickness. So I forfeited that honor.”

“If not for your illness, would you want to lead the pack?” my mate asked with genuine curiosity.

I shook my head without hesitation. “Back then, I would have said yes. But not anymore. Too many people would resent following me. And truth be told, I have grown fond of my freedom and of being a lone wolf.”

“So does Ulric resent that you are shunning the role that will likely be his? It must be embarrassing for him to know that a better wolf exists out there?”

I gave her a sad smile. “No. It’s not uncommon for some powerful alphas not to wish to take on that mantle.

Not everyone is made to lead people. The problem occurred when we were young pups.

After Misty brought me back to the pack, my cousin was my only friend.

In fact, he treated me like a blood brother.

Unfortunately, pups tend to play rough. People warned him not to play with me, and especially not to bite me. But he did… All pups do.”

“Oh no!” Amara whispered, pressing a palm to her chest. “He got sick?”

I nodded, my chest constricting as the memory of those dark days came flooding back.

“He’d done it countless times before, but he’d broken skin for the first time that day.

It was only a couple of drops of my blood, but it was enough that it almost killed him.

For years, Ulrich was lame. His lungs were too weak for him to be able to run or perform any type of exertion.

He had no balance, suffered from impaired vision, and had a faulty nose.

He went from being a promising hunter to a complete burden…

or at least so he perceived himself. And he was only eight years old. ”