Page 14

Chapter

Twelve

M y near death experience has changed absolutely nothing. One expects a brush with the afterlife to alter something—some mark upon the universe, a cosmic congratulations for surviving. Go forth, multiply your fortunate seed, or at least gain some celestial wisdom. But nothing.

The blessed Hallowed scurry about their diurnal, glancing over at the knights, while I remain invisible.

“You should rest,” Malachi murmurs against my ear, guiding our horse into the stables.

I arch a brow. “I’m not tired. Perhaps you’re the one in need of rest?”

It’s true. I’ve been wired since my float in the healing pools. I’m unsure if it’s due to the water, or what Theo and I did in said water, but I should repeat it with one of the knights. Purely for comparison, of course.

Malachi smiles like he can hear the scandalous thoughts in my mind.

We stable the horses and hurry to the chambers. I burst through the door, arms wide. “I have returned.”

Gwyneth tackles me to the floor, making me grunt as my back slams into the wood. “You need to stop almost dying.”

“Almost is better than actually,” I point out. Nobody wants to finish that race.

She scrambles to her feet and hauls me up. Sir Sweeps-A-Lot brushes against her skirts in greeting, earning him a grin.

“I missed you too, buddy,” Gwyneth says.

Genie poofs into the room and glances around. “No spiders?”

“No, we left them in the village,” I tell him, and he visibly relaxes.

“Spiders?” Gwyneth asks.

Nash shakes his head as he disappears into his chambers.

“We met a village of villains,” I explain. “Misunderstood ones. They needed a confidence boost.”

Gwyneth blinks. “You staged an intervention with a villain group?”

I grin. “I did.”

“It was impressive, even for Calamity,” Hart grumbles.

“Where’s Charming?” I ask as Theo and Malachi slip into their chambers. Theo throws a look over his shoulder that ignites heat in my core.

Holy Idol balls. Everything inside me wants to follow them. But priorities. We have multiple issues to address.

The sword hums happily from the sideboard.

“Charming is… elsewhere,” Gwyneth says cryptically.

“Elsewhere? You lost him?”

“Lost suggests I want to find him, which I do not.”

I snort. Wait... “And my capons?”

She scratches her temple, and I narrow my eyes. “They followed Charming.”

My mouth drops open. “And you let them?” I will kill Charming if he harms a feather on their sweet heads.

“They were pretty insistent. I think they have taken him under their wing.”

I’m affronted that they would pick Prince Poopfloof over me.

“But I have news,” she says as she strides to the room she’s commandeered.

I hope she hasn’t had another bed brought in.

She swings open the door and out hops the White Rabbit.

He narrows his gaze on me and slides it down to my feet and back again.

I feel judged. He should form a judgy group with my sword.

“It’s the rabbit,” the genie whispers in awe.

The rabbit nods at the genie. “Follow me. We are so terribly late.”

“Late for what?” I wonder. We are entering a realm never visited where we know no one. How could we possibly be late? My brain tries to process this alongside the loss of my capons. I guess Charming can borrow them—for now.

Nash’s door swings open, and he lasers his gaze on the rabbit. “You found him.”

Gwyneth folds her arms and huffs. “Of course. Once Malice disappeared, he seemed more than amenable.”

The rabbit shudders. “Do not speak her name.”

“Why? Does speaking it summon her?”

The rabbit shakes his head as he looks around the room and freezes his gaze on the mirror. As if summoned, Eron’s face appears. “Oh, fair Deborah, you are well I see, and—” He squints at me and blushes. “Very well.”

What does that mean? “I am,” I agree.

“The dark hole is ready for your penetration,” he declares.

Hart chuckles as he joins us, along with Theo and Malachi. All of them have changed and freshened up.

Malachi swings a thumb over his shoulder. “There’s a fresh set of clothing for you on the bed.”

The rabbit glances at his pocket watch and frowns. “We must hurry.”

Eron rolls his eyes. “Don’t mind him. He’s got an obsession with time. The dark hole will still be waiting for you to thrust your bodies into after you change.”

I shake my head, a smile lifting my lips. “I’ll be five tempos. Don’t leave without me.”

My back leans against the closed door and I close my eyes for a tempo.

Our adventure into a new realm to find the Grimm brothers weighs on me for reasons I don’t understand. I’ve never been a foreseer. If I were, I would surely have avoided at least half of the chaos I create in the realm.

But there’s a tightening in my chest that tells me we are about to embark on a quest that will alter everything we believe. Whether that’s for the better remains to be seen.

I shake off the ominous thought and grasp the new plum-colored dress and matching lacy underwear. Now that I may find myself naked or semi naked with the knights, it’s important to look my best under my clothing.

After a quick shower, one without any of Malice’s theatrics, I dress and return to the gang and the increasingly anxious rabbit.

Malachi sweeps his gaze down my body like he’s imagining how I look wearing only what I have on underneath this dress.

“Are we ready?” Gwyneth checks as she pulls a satchel over her head. What has she deemed important enough to be in that small pack?

Everyone nods and murmurs their agreement and then we are dashing through the palace hallways. Unsuspecting folks plaster themselves against the walls to avoid being trampled on. That’s right. Be scared. Be very, very scared. I trip, and Hart catches my arm, saving my face from the harsh floor.

I grin at him as Sir Sweeps-A-Lot brushes against my legs to check I’m okay. “Thank you.”

“Less outer monologue about everyone fearing you. You aren’t built to multitask, Calamity.”

I huff, but can’t find it in me to disagree.

The rabbit leads us to the dark underbelly of the palace. Genie mutters about spiders, but manages to stay present.

The rabbit pauses at a junction. He lifts his watch and tilts his head. “Yes, this way. We can catch it if we are quick.” He doesn’t give us a moment to question his words. I glance over my shoulder. Are those footsteps following us?

The rabbit bursts into a small room. A small black hole opens in the floor, wide enough for a person to fall down. We crowd around the edges of the room and stare at the opening. The rabbit waves his hand. “Come now.”

I bite my lip and catch the gaze of everyone in our group. Nash folds his arms and glares at it.

“What’s down there?” he demands.

The rabbit huffs. “No time to explain. If you don’t jump now, it will move.” He leaps into the hole and disappears.

If it’s good enough for him, it can’t be that bad, right?

“Surely the heaviest should jump first,” Theo says as he takes a step forward. “They would fall faster, yes?”

He glances around, and Gwyneth frowns as she folds her arms. My magic broom hovers over the opening before shrinking away. “No, the lightest will provide less resistance.”

“We could test it with a feather and a stone,” Hart says.

I roll my eyes. “In the absence of feathers, I say we grab the diurnal by the big hairy?—”

“Oh my Idols, I will pay you not to finish that sentence,” Gwyneth grumbles.

I shrug as I step forward, and Malachi reaches out to stop me. I wink and leap after the rabbit.

“I can’t believe she did that,” Nash mutters. “You are building up your punishment, Daphne.”

I chuckle as I drop faster. “Promises, promises,” I call out.

There’s movement above me, and the light blocks out. Who jumped after me? And how long is this damn hole? Roots and dirt brush against my arms. The genie pops up next to me, holding Sir Sweeps-A-Lot. There’s some kind of light attached to his forehead, illuminating the otherwise gloomy fall.

He shudders. “There are definitely spiders down here.”

“You’ve got this. Face your fears, Genie. I won’t leave your side.”

He chuckles. “You’re falling, Daphne.”

“With style.”

“I knew I should have gone first,” Theo grumbles. “Stop grabbing my arm.”

“I can’t help it,” Malachi snaps. “Your colossal body is falling faster than mine.”

“We are going to squash Daphne,” Hart calls out. Oops. We did not think that through.

“I’ll drop and roll,” I call out.

“Which direction?” Nash demands.

“Umm, to the side?” What an odd question.

“She doesn’t know her left from right,” Gwyneth says. That’s true.

Genie floats calmly beside me as the hole widens. A teacup appears in his free hand. “What are you doing?”

“Distracting myself from the creepy crawlies. Also, following you is thirsty work.”

“When will this end?” Malachi grumbles.

“At least we’re all going down together,” I point out. Wait... that sounded wrong.

“Don’t forget to roll,” Nash reminds me.

Right—drop and roll. I’ve got this.

“Almost there,” the genie says as he moves his head. “I can see the light.”

“Don’t go into it,” Theo calls out.

Genie tilts his head like he’s trying to understand. My back hits the floor, and my breath bursts from my lungs.

“Roll,” Nash shouts.

I blink, and Malachi lands on top of me. His arms wrap around my waist and he rolls us to the side, narrowly avoiding the rest of the gang. Gwyneth is last, and she almost floats onto the ground. Nash grabs her hips and sets her to the side.

Everyone is back on their feet in a tempo. I swipe the hair off my face as a holler comes from the gaping hole in the ceiling. My gaze scans the room. One, two, three, four, and a sister. No rabbit, but I have a genie and a broom. So who...

Charming hits the ground, with Hamish and Eugene landing on his chest. He grins at Gwyneth. “I followed you.”

He’s speaking normally at least, even if he’s cradling my capons as he stands. They cluck happily. I have not lost my capons to this prince. I won’t hear of it. He can borrow them.

Gwyneth pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. “Why?”

“In case you are in need of a prince to rescue you,” he declares as he pushes out his chest.

My sister glares at him. “Can we send him back?”

The genie glances at me. Nope, I’m not risking a wish to get rid of an idiot prince.

“He’ll have to come with us,” I grumble.

Charming grins like it’s the best news he’s ever heard.

I spin in the small room. Framed pictures of unusual creatures decorate the walls. They shimmer with magic, and their eyes follow us as we scan the room. A frown deepens on my face.

“There’s no door,” I realize, as the hole above our heads closes, sealing us inside.

Gwyneth strides around, touching the walls before falling to her knees.

“No, there is a door,” she whispers. “It’s just very, very small.”

“At least they provided refreshments,” Charming adds as he swipes a bottle off a table in the corner. He cocks a brow as he turns the label around. “Drink me? Don’t mind if I do.”

He downs the suspicious liquid, and nobody moves to stop him. If anyone is going to succumb to a fate, it should be him. He’s uninvited.

He clutches his chest and a tempo later, his face ripples like there are bugs under his skin.

Genie gasps. “That’s horrid.”

Charming’s eyes bulge, and he morphs before our eyes.

“Is he getting smaller?” Gwyneth whispers.

I glance at the tiny door. Figures.

Charming gets smaller, his clothes shrinking with him. Good, because l do not need to see his mini Charming.

He looks up. “Why are you all so big?” he squeaks.

“Aww, look at him. He’s almost cute,” I muse. “I think I prefer him this way. Of course, it means his mini Charming is even smaller.” I wiggle my little finger, which is bigger than his entire body.

“Please do not speak of his mini Charming,” Gwyneth grumbles.

“That’s not what you said during our night of passion,” Charming says.

All eyes swing to Gwyneth. Their what of what?

She scowls at him. “He’s talking about the night I faked it.”

My shoulders relax. For a hot tempo, I thought he’d actually seduced my sister.

“You faked it?” He gasps. “I specifically remember you shouting how big I was.”

“That part is true,” she agrees. “Had to make the kingdom believe it.”

I grimace. I also remember it. Why does it seem so long ago?

Hamish squawks and scurries over to Charming. Please eat him. Hamish drops onto her butt and stares at Charming in disbelief.

“So the drink makes us smaller,” Hart mutters as he stares at the table. “What do you think the cake does?”

“There’s cake?” I ask, turning to check out the snacks. Ooh, nice. Little pretty fancies of various pastel colors cover a plate. The label on these says ‘eat me.’

I pluck one up. Don’t mind if I do.

Theo knocks it out of my hand, and I stare in horror at the discarded treat. There’s a half a tempo rule, right? Pick it up within that time, and we are good to go. “Think, Daphne,” Theo says.

I huff. “I’m hungry. It’s hard to think.”

“If the drink makes people shrink, then the cake makes people...”

“Heat?” Hot cakes. Yum.

“Grow,” Gwyneth says.

“That does not rhyme.”

Hart shakes his head as he snatches another of the bottles and downs the contents. We wait for a tempo, and then he too is a tiny pocket version of himself.

He waves his hand. “Come on. We don’t have all annus.”

I grab a bottle and give a little to Hamish and Eugene. They too shrink, although not as much as Charming. They are like capon horses. Next, I swipe some on Sir Sweeps-A-Lot.

The rest of us follow. Theo hiccups as he gets smaller and emits a puff of smoke.

I stomp over to the door and twist the key some helpful soul left for us. I push it open and step through into another world.

Bright, beautiful colors streak across the sky. Giant flowers of every color and shape outline a path into a woodland.

“Wow,” I breathe as I spin in a circle.

The genie makes a show of squeezing himself through the door with a huff. He’s being dramatic for a being that lives in a lamp.

Theo sneezes, and a little fire erupts from his nose.

I stare wide eyed. “Is that normal?”

He blinks. “No.”

So we are in a strange new world, on a dangerous, destiny-altering quest, and my dragon is having performance issues. What can possibly go wrong?

Here lies Daphne Stone. She believed in miracles and was the master of wishful thinking, which was ultimately her downfall.