Page 29

I flex my fingers around the handle and set my jaw.

“There’s a lot you don’t understand, Finny.

I need to get you out of here before he shows up.

We can email your professors that you had a family emergency.

Maybe we can even get them to let you write papers or something instead of sitting for the finals.

We’ll put you on a bus out of town.” I tuck the gun into my waistband, a plan starting to form in my mind about how to keep my brother safe for a little while longer.

The ever-present sweetness in Finn’s eyes slips, replaced with something hard and determined.

“No,” he says firmly.

“No?”

“I’m not going anywhere. Tell me what’s going on and we’ll deal with it together.” His voice is just as firm as his expression, and I feel like I’m seeing the exact moment my baby brother turns from a little kid into a grown man. Pride and affection surge in my chest and I pull him into a hug.

“I just wanted to protect you,” I murmur against his shoulder.

“I know. But you can’t protect me forever.”

I nod. “A lot of it is really fucked up. I don’t even…

” I bite my lip and turn away from him so he won’t see the tears welling up in my eyes.

“He’s had a drinking problem for a while now.

Drugs too, fuck knows what else. Gambling maybe.

It doesn’t really matter.” Finn puts a hand on my shoulder and my muscles all tighten, my heart beating faster as I weigh my confession on my tongue.

“He made me do some really gross shit to pay for his addictions.”

His fingers tighten and he draws in a sharp breath. “Like… what?”

“Sex for money,” I bite out bluntly. I can feel Finn’s wince, his whole body flinching behind me. “And I did it because I couldn’t see any other choice. If I hadn’t, he was going to come after you.”

“What?” he hisses and recoils. “Anders, you didn’t… You shouldn’t…”

I spin back around and take my brother’s face between my hands with a hard look that I hope he understands.

“I’ll never regret protecting you.”

A resounding thud, thud, thud against the door startles Finn, but not me. My nerves are pure steel right now. Everything inside of me is made of solid, immovable stone. There’s no time to get him out of here. There’s no way to shield him from this completely anymore.

“Go to the bedroom and lock the door,” I say firmly.

He shakes his head. “No,” he says again. “I’m with you.”

I want to argue, but he’s an adult now, and he has the most important facts. If he wants to face this with me, I can’t stop him.

“Fine. Go to the living room at least. Please?” He drops his gaze to the handle of the pistol sticking out of my jeans, and after a half second of hesitation, he goes down the hallway and disappears into the living room.

“Open up, you ungrateful little shit. I know you’re in there. Your precious little cunt of a brother sold you out.”

I grind my teeth and stride forward, whipping the door open.

My dad stumbles at the unexpected move. His eyes are glassy, and it takes a minute for recognition to dawn.

When he realizes he’s standing face to face with me, a cruel smile curls on his lips.

His hair is greasy and disheveled, just like his clothes, and he smells like he fell ass first into a barrel of whiskey, which probably isn’t too far from the truth.

“I told him to give you my address, you fucking loser. Now, come inside before one of the neighbors calls the cops on you.” I jerk my head and step out of the way.

My heart thuds out a surprisingly even beat as he steps over the threshold and I swing the door closed behind him.

Is this how a spider feels when a fly buzzes into its web?

No. It’s more like a mama bear standing between her cubs and a hunter, ice cold with justifiable rage, ready to do whatever is necessary to remove the threat.

“Drink?” I offer with mock cheer. “Oh wait, you’ve probably already had a few, am I right?”

He growls and narrows his eyes at me. “That smart mouth of yours is back. Thought you’d finally figured out how to keep it shut.”

I bark out a laugh. “It wasn’t shut, Pop, it was just too full of dick you practically forced down my throat to manage any snarky comments in the last few years.”

Even in his drunken state, with all of his morals presumably dead and buried, he at least has the decency for his face to turn a violent shade of crimson. I’m betting it’s more out of anger than embarrassment for how he treated me, but any acknowledgment of how fucked up it was feels like a win.

I strut down the hallway, trusting that he’ll be right behind me. I don’t want to lead him right to Finn, but this isn’t a conversation I want to have in the hallway either. As soon as I step into the living room, my brother launches himself off of the couch. I put up a hand to stop him though.

“I’ve got this,” I assure him. “You know, Dad, you should congratulate me, actually.”

He scoffs. “For what?”

I grin. “I got a new boyfriend. It’s serious too. We’re living together and everything.” I gesture to the apartment around us. His brow furrows and he sways as he looks around, seemingly surprised to see where he’s even standing right now. “His name is Luca. Luca Moretti.”

The terror that flashes through his eyes is satisfying all the way down to my bones. He tries to scoff again, but the sound comes out choked and he sputters over a cough.

“Yeah, right,” he mumbles, wiping the spit off of the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“That’s fine, you don’t have to believe me.

” I shrug, wrapping my fingers around the handle of the gun and pulling it out of my waistband.

I don’t point it at him, but even hanging by my side, I think he understands the threat I’m making.

“But the little arrangement you and I had? It’s done now.

I don’t care how you get your money anymore.

You can sell your own ass, donate your organs—although I’m sure they’re too pickled to be worth much—or panhandle downtown.

You can die penniless on the street with a needle in your arm for all I care.

You’re not going to ask me for another dime though.

” His eyes dart past me in search of Finn, but I take a slight step to the left to block his view.

“And if you so much as look at Finn, I promise I’ll make you suffer. ”

The crystalline calm inside of me doesn’t waver. I flex my fingers around the handle of the gun and watch his throat bob as he swallows hard, considering his options.

He meets my eyes with nothing but disdain.

I wonder again if he was ever a good father or if our mom was just as skilled at protecting us as I’ve become.

Did he hurt her? Did he put her through any of the things he’s put me through?

The thought sours in my stomach and my breathing kicks up a notch.

He pulls his lips back in a snarl, baring his yellowed teeth at me as if he’s in any position to be making threats.

“You spoiled, disgusting, fa—”

“Wrong answer,” I hiss, raising the gun and pulling the trigger without even a second of hesitation.

Time seems to slow down. I don’t actually hear the pop of the gun going off, but my ears ring all the same.

A dark spot appears in the middle of his forehead and his eyes go wide like he can’t believe I shot him.

His body crumples like a building toppling, his knees giving out first before he keels forward.

The back of his head is a mangled mess compared to the hole between his eyes, and just like that, everything feels real.

Sound returns to the world, time finds the correct pace, and it hits me that I just shot my father.

“Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck,” Finn pants behind me.

I drop the gun and whirl around, opening my arms for him.

He falls into me instantly, burying his face against my shoulder and trembling from head to toe as he drags in gasping breaths.

I make soothing noises, stroking his back in slow circles as I wait for guilt or fear or anything to descend on me. But the only thing I feel is relief.

Finn is safe. I’m safe. That’s all that matters.

I don’t flinch at the sound of the door opening a few minutes later, but my brother tenses in my arms.

“In here,” I say calmly.

Steady footsteps approach, and seconds later, a high, almost manic laugh that definitely doesn’t belong to Luca breaks through the tension in the air.

“Well, shit, it looks like I missed the fun.”