Page 27

ANDERS

The animal part of my brain is on high alert stepping back onto campus after what happened last time. But it’s the middle of the day, with smiling students hurrying between buildings and as far as I know, Finn hasn’t been drinking, so fingers crossed this is a very different kind of visit.

I shove my hands into my pockets and tilt my head back to take in the full, towering height of the brick building in front of me.

I don’t know how they do it, it’s just bricks and mortar, but somehow it looks intimidating and smart, beckoning me in with the promise of knowledge and sneering at me for being the “wrong kind of person” at the same time.

I huff and glare defiantly. I could be a college student if I wanted to.

“Ands.” Finn’s booming voice drags me out of my one-sided staring contest with the Humanities building.

I spin around to find my brother jogging towards me, his floppy blond hair bouncing with his stride like he’s a golden retriever. I chuckle and pull my hands out of my pockets, opening my arms just seconds before he crashes into me with a laugh.

“You big doofus,” I say, stumbling before he catches me in a crushing hug.

“Who are you calling a doofus?” He scoffs, ruffling my hair. “You’re looking at a soon-to-be college graduate.”

I smile and shove him off of me. “Just wait until you figure out that both can be true.”

He throws an arm around my shoulders and we head in the direction of his favorite coffee shop.

While we walk, Finn talks about his friends and his upcoming finals.

I listen, nodding or laughing in the appropriate spots and doing my best to ignore the knots in my stomach.

Of all the things I resent my shitty, drunk father for, putting this invisible wall between me and Finn is right at the top of the list.

I want to tell him about Luca, about the week I’ve spent staying at his place and how unexpectedly sweet he is.

I want to gush about our late nights watching terrible horror movies and talking until sunrise.

I want to tell Finn that I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and that I think I’m falling for the gorgeous, thoughtful, subby mafioso.

But I can’t. If I tell him any of that, I’ll have to lie about how Luca and I met, and I’m so fucking tired of all the lies.

“You okay?” Finn asks, dropping his arm and pulling the café door open. “You got really quiet all of a sudden.”

I shake my head and force a smile. “I’m good, just a little tired.” More lies. Sigh.

He nods and just keeps grinning, as usual. I nudge my brother towards an empty table and then go up to the counter to order our usual drinks. When I slide into the seat across from him, Finn is sitting on the edge of his chair, bouncing his knee under the table.

“Everything okay with you ?” I ask, scooping a little bit of the whipped cream from his drink onto my finger and shoving it into my mouth.

“Yeah, I’m good. It’s just… I called dad yesterday to remind him about graduation and he seemed…” He bites his lip and shakes his head.

Goose bumps erupt all over my skin and my heart squeezes so tight that I’m almost positive I’m seconds from having a heart attack.

“He has a cold, he probably took some cold medicine.” Lie. Lie. Lie . “Don’t worry about it.”

His eyebrows pull together and he looks at me for a second, clearly skeptical, before he grunts in acknowledgment and takes a sip of his drink.

“Yeah, okay,” he agrees.

“Listen, Finn…” Can he hear the tremble in my voice?

I hope not. I curl my fingers into a fist under the table, flexing them open and closed for something to focus on other than the cold feeling seeping into my bones.

“If Dad ever makes you nervous or shows up acting weird, I want you to call me right away, okay?”

He cocks his head and frowns deeper. “What do you—”

“Just promise?”

“Sure, I promise.”

I let out a shaky breath and then pick up my drink to take a sip.

“So, are you excited about the big move?” It’s possible that I’ve been residing firmly in the ‘denial’ stage of dealing with Finn’s latest news.

As much as I’d love for my brother to stay close, I don’t know how I’ll keep him safe if he’s here, not only from our dad, but from all the things he doesn’t need to know about.

For all he knows, I’ve been a bartender for the last few years. How would he react to the truth? How would he feel knowing I’m living with a Moretti? I imagine Sparrow meeting Finn and I have to hold back a laugh at how adorable the psycho twink would be about my sweet, himbo brother.

“I told you, I’m staying in Wildcliff,” he says. “I already accepted the job and I was able to break my lease at the other place, although they did keep my deposit. I was actually going to ask you if you’d come with me to look at apartments in the city tomorrow after my finals.”

“Are you sure ?” I tap my foot against the linoleum floor. “A whole other city would be a big, fun adventure, don’t you think?”

Finn’s smile falls again. “Sure, but… you’re here. The job pays the same and I never really wanted to move, so it just makes sense to stay.”

“Right,” I choke, gulping down more of my hot, overly sweet drink and ignoring the way it scalds my tongue.

“Are you sure everything is okay? You’re acting weird today, Ands.”

“I’m fine.” I look across the table at my brother and the need to protect him turns to steel inside of me.

I don’t know how I’m going to keep him from all the crazy underworld shit in my life, but I’ll have to find a way.

“Of course I’ll look at apartments with you tomorrow.

Just text me the time and address and I’ll be there. ”

His smile returns, like the sun shining through the clouds. “Cool. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

I let out a weak laugh and reach across the table to pat his hand.

“That’s what big brothers are for, Finny.”

LUCA

I still daydream about the way Anders greeted me at the door last week, all rough kisses and desperation, but the soft sound of his fingers tapping over the laptop keyboard as I step inside and bend down to untie my shoes makes my heart race in a completely different way.

Bringing him here was an impulsive decision, but having him here when I come home every night, waking up next to him every morning, getting the chance to soak up all of his snark and justifiable rage…

it’s become an addiction I have no interest in kicking.

I loosen my tie as I come around the corner into the living room.

Anders doesn’t notice my entrance for a few seconds, his forehead wrinkled with concentration and his lips pursed as he stares intently at the computer screen, his fingers flying over the keyboard expertly.

His eyes flicker in my direction and he startles.

“Jesus,” he shouts, flipping the laptop off his lap and then clutching his chest with breathless laughter. “You scared the fuck out of me.”

I chuckle and cross the room in a few strides, stooping down to pick up the computer. Whatever he’s writing is still open on the screen. I try to glance at it, but he snatches the laptop from me and slams it closed quickly.

“Writing your memoirs?” I guess teasingly, straightening back up to my full height before bending over and bracing my hands on the back of the couch to bring my face close to Anders’s.

He wraps his hand around my slack tie and yanks on it, bringing his lips to mine.

“No, but that shit would be a bestseller if I did. Tragic backstory, forced prostitution, the Mafia … it’s got Lifetime Movie written all over it.”

I smile and sink onto the couch next to him.

“What do you think about ordering a pizza for dinner?” I pull my phone out of my pocket.

“Only if you get pineapple on my half without giving me any attitude about it.”

I grin a little wider and lean over to nuzzle his ear. “What happens if I do give you attitude? Will you punish me?”

“Yes, but it won’t be the fun kind,” he says in a low voice that sends heat racing down my spine.

“None of the rough play you love so much. Instead, I’ll be so gentle with you you’ll cry.

” I scoff and he cackles, turning his head to nip at my bottom lip.

“Just order the pizza. I’m sure you can find a more fun way to annoy me tonight. ”

I chuckle and place our order while Anders pulls up a show we’ve been binge watching.

“It’s stupid,” he says once I put my phone away again.

“What is?” I frown.

“What I was writing. It’s an admissions essay for the university. I’m probably not even going to send it, it was just in my head so I thought I’d write it down.” His tone is tight, and so is the way he shrugs his shoulders like it’s no big deal.

“You never mentioned wanting to go to college. Do you have a major in mind?” I drag my fingers absently along the back of his neck.

“No,” he says in a clipped tone, his shoulders stiff for a few seconds before he lets out a breath and relaxes a fraction. “I don’t know. Maybe psychology. But you can’t even do anything with it unless you get at least a masters.”

“So, get a masters.”

He snorts. “Oh sure, easy peasy.”

I squeeze the back of his neck and he leans into my touch. “I didn’t say it was easy. You’ve done plenty of hard things, my little viper, I have no doubt you can do this too.”

He shivers and looks over at me again, his eyes full of unreadable emotions that make my chest feel like it's cracking wide open. “I don’t know. Everything still feels like it’s kind of a mess. I’m not sure it’s the right time to think about school.”

I grunt. If he needs a little more time to adjust to the idea that he’s not under his father’s thumb anymore, that’s fine, I won’t push him.

“Do you have any updates yet?” he asks.

“Not yet. I’m meeting with Sparrow tomorrow to find out what he managed to get, if anything.”

Anders nods and looks away, focusing on the TV without really looking like he’s watching it. I brush a strand of hair off of his forehead and lean over to press a kiss to the corner of his lips. They twitch into a half smile before falling again.

“Whatever’s going to happen with him, we need to deal with it… soon.” He shifts in his seat and bites his bottom lip.

“We will,” I promise. “If your father comes anywhere near you again, it’ll be the last thing he ever does.”