Page 24

ERO

“ F ive years.”

“The Diamantes…disappeared six or seven years ago…”

“Seven years… seven years…”

The stranger’s words echo through my skull, over and over.

She leaves Circe standing in the middle of the park, frozen in a stupor for several minutes. I don’t stick around to watch. I need distance. Space to think.

Stirring when she left, I followed shortly after. Trailed her to the park.

I knew she must have sensed me. But someone else was shadowing her too. A protective instinct demanded that I see it through.

After those revelations though…

The streets of Lisbon remain deathly silent in the early hours of morning. That silence huddles around me, embracing me against the turmoil of Circe’s admission of guilt.

Not that I can remember exactly what happened last night. Other than the life-altering sex.

Deep in my gut, however, I know she attacked my mind. She did betray me.

And that lack of trust drives me on through the night. Up the hill, into the highest building I can find. No one makes a sound as I find my way to the roof. There, staring off over the Tagus River and the Atlantic beyond, I let myself crumble.

My spirit cries out, begging me to scream, to release the agony inside. Instead, I hang my feet over the ledge, sitting for hours.

Ciro leaves me be. The ghosts of my past lay dormant.

Probably because of Circe.

Experience tells me I’m better than I was before at holding on. Practice has made my “resets” less comprehensive. Allowing me to hang on to more of myself.

But what drives the nail in the coffin is the simple fact that she did it. That she, knowing full well how it feels to be controlled, used that weapon against me. To shut me up.

And then stood there and held me while I fell apart. Comforted me.

A sliver of pink and blue tints the horizon, telling me how long I’ve spent here. I rise on stiff legs, my toes suspended over nothing.

Gazing out across a beautiful city, a beautiful world, I look for meaning. For any reason to exist. But this world has nothing to offer me. No answers. No hope.

I am a shell. A tool to be used. A sigh escapes my lips.

“This is it. This is all I’ll ever have and all I’ll ever be.” My gaze drops, my shoulders slumping. “Alone.”

“You’re not.” Circe’s voice stops me cold.

“You said it once, that we both are. Even together.”

“I was wrong. About so much.”

“Maybe the details. Not the big picture.” I glance back, offering her a sad shake of my head.

Circe’s huddled against the doorway to the stairs, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. It’s cold up here. Not that I noticed.

“If Artemis lived, maybe Ananke lied about your brothers?—”

“And if they were alive, I would only do right by them by staying away. Letting them stay hidden. You said it yourself. Artemis is at risk just because you know she’s alive.”

Circe’s face crumples somewhere between despair and anger.

“We cannot go on living this way, Cirs.” My head turns back to the river, the first hints of the sun gleaming across the water.

“No. We can’t,” she utters, her whisper a curse.

“Which leaves us what? We go back, get reset, beg her to scour our minds until there’s nothing left. Or we run. She hunts us down and does the same thing against our will. Or we try to kill her.”

“We’d never be able to get to her.”

“I know.”

“There’s only one way out,” I assert, spinning and facing back toward the building. The heels of my boots brush open air. “It would be so easy. One step.”

“Then why haven’t you done it already?”

“I’m scared.” My lip quivers, I bite down on the swell burning my eyes.

“What do you want me to do? Command you to do it? Save you from this fate by taking your life for you?”

“You didn’t hold back last night.” I’m almost shocked by the vitriol in my voice.

“Last night was a mistake. Ero, I…”

Everything inside me screams to run to her, to hold her. I don’t want to care. I know for a fact I never would have in my past life.

Who have I become?!

Somewhere along the way, she closed the distance between us. She’s suddenly there, right below me. “I won’t let you off this easily. I won’t let you leave me to face this by myself!”

Fury rises up, lashes out.

The conflagration envelops me, tearing at my own barely contained rage.

“You did this to me! Why shouldn’t I get to escape?”

“If you’re going to take your anger out on someone, let it be me!” Circe screams, getting right in my face.

My body reacts on impulse. Fingers close around her neck, lifting her, locking out as she grips my wrist. Adrenaline-fueled strength holds her over the drop, her toes scraping for purchase against the lip of the building.

“Do it! Fucking do it! Show me that you really give a shit, that you’ve got the guts. Take the choice away from me, get your revenge on me…whatever you need to do!”

“I always wanted you, Circe. You made me need you.”

“Only because I fell for you from the start.” She gasps, her eyes widening as she studies my face.

Hot, scalding furrows run across my cheeks. Tears.

A primal, intuitive part of me knows somehow that I’ve never shed a single one. Never as a child. Not until last night. And never like this, truly crying.

“I can’t do this, Circe. Any of it. I have no clue how to…” I shrug, leaving the sentence unfinished.

“Trust me”

“How?”

“With all of your heart.” Circe grunts, tugging forward, snatching the front of my shirt.

Our soles disconnect from stone.

Time stands perfectly still for one single frozen second of shock. I feel the warmth of her body pressed against mine. I feel the stillness before the fall. I feel my fear uncoil, scatter to the winds.

And I close my eyes to wait for oblivion as we plummet over the edge.