Page 19

ERO

“ L ook! There I am!” Ciro cackles, pointing down the road. “There too! And there!”

Everywhere I look, I see him in the crowd, glimpses of him, just flitting out of sight. There, he’s grinning, a busker on the corner, I blink and it’s some random Russian guy.

This all started in Morocco.

The utter fuckery of ghosts and phantoms haunting my periphery. Might be triggered by the fact that I saw myself being experimented on…

Whatever the case, it only got worse when we got to Russia.

My brain’s buzzing, humming with a sort of constant strain and pressure. Everywhere I look I see their faces. My family. I barely made it to the gala without running off on a wild goose chase.

But then …

Something familiar about the speaker’s voice. Then I saw his face.

After that, they’re all around me. Staring at me.

Ciro, the black-haired woman he’s with. Vanya. Yeah, Vanya.

Their clothes are torn, burned.

Adriano, watching me through the bars of a backroom window, blood spattered on his face. A red-headed woman screaming as her date is killed looks just like Gloria.

Alessandro stands still in the press of the crowd, his hand on the belly of a stunning woman next to him, standing in the stark light of the bar. Their skin is pale, tinted blue.

Because they’re dead …

My whole family. Dead.

Then a break in the darkness, Circe calling to me. Kissing me. We soar through the air, landing and running and…

Everything spins out of control, I feel my vision narrow to a pinprick?—

“Ero. Pay attention.”

I raise my head. I look around, feeling a bit confused, a little disoriented, looking up across the table in the long, elegant dining room, I blink a few times.

“Are you here now?”

The woman is regal, authoritative. I feel like I should know her, but the fog in my brain won’t clear. It reminds me of being a kid trying to climb out of the ball pit and falling back and back and back.

“I’m listening,” I say, because I know I’m supposed to.

“Circe was worried about you. Your performance was shaky on this last mission.”

“No. I’m fine.” I shake my head again. When did we get here?

Scrambling, I sift through my most recent memories. I’m slipping. Missing chunks of my days. But the most pressing worry right now is not losing more.

Finally, a name clicks back into place, my mind reasserting some stability. Ananke.

She’s my employer. The person responsible for my recent conditioning. She’s dangerous. I cannot let this woman take more from me.

What I saw on that video tells me all I need to confirm my suspicions.

Someone fucked with my head. Now, Ananke seems to be able to use that to control me.

“You can open up to me, Ero. I only ever wanted to help you. I still do.”

“Being back in Russia just made me uneasy, that’s all.”

“‘Back in Russia’? What do you mean by that, exactly?”

Shit. Wrong wording.

“I mean that I know that’s where Circe found me when I almost died. She told me that. It bothered me that I can’t remember.”

“I see.”

Ananke eyes me for a while, looking into my fucking soul. I can tell she’s debating whether or not to punish me.

“We’re getting close, aren’t we?” I ask, distracting her.

“Yes, a lot closer than I hoped we would be at this point. You and Circe have been most effective. If a bit reckless.”

“We just want to please you.”

“Hm. Perhaps you deserve the carrot instead of the stick, then. A reward.”

“Thank you, my lady,” I tip my head down, not meeting her eyes. Play the part. Pander.

She laughs, shaking her head. “I don’t believe for one minute that you’re being genuine, but I cannot say that I don’t like the gesture. When you arrive in Portugal, you’ll have a package waiting for you. Instructions for a very special mission.”

“I live to serve.”

“Somehow, I strongly doubt that, but I’m glad you’re at least playing along. Be careful, boy. I’d hate to have to punish you for lying to me.”

“There’s no purpose in me lying to you.”

“Yet you always seem to find a way to defy me, Fiero,” Ananke mutters, leaving me staring after her.

I set down my bag, only partially registering the layout of the townhome we’re staying at in Lisbon. My mind hasn’t stopped racing since we left Italy again.

And the more time I have to let the swirling tide of emotion and fugue fade, the more of myself I am able to consolidate. I can separate feelings from fact, false memories from reality.

The results so far leave me more confused.

Two versions of me exist. The youngest brother of four. A gangster. The other man is a provider, a protector. He had a wife. Kids. Scenes from both lives play out in static clips. Garbled like an old television signal.

One of those lives has to be false.

Ananke knows who I am. Circe knows more than she’s let on.

“Any idea what this new mission is?” I ask absently, digging through the cabinets, the fridge. Need a drink.

“Should be in the file on the table.”

I wait until she’s letting her hair down, unwinding a bit.

“Who is Fiero Diamante, Circe?”

She stops dead as she enters the room. Her eyes widen a fraction before she checks her response.

“If you know that name, then Ananke must have told you something. He’s…you.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“What answer do you want?”

“The truth. Or as much of it as you have.”

“Look, Ero … we should call Ananke?—”

“No. Not until you tell me.”

“Tell you what? I get it. You’re figuring things out. Remembering things from our life. It happens to me all the time. Ever since my head injury?—”

“What head injury?” He perks up, taking a step towards me.

“I…it happened a couple of years ago?—”

“Then when were we married? When did we have kids?”

“I don’t know, Ero. Ananke promised me treatment to fix?—”

“When was I with my brothers? When did Alessandro go into hiding, then die?” I’m rambling, raging. The tidbits of the tapestry that I can see trying to cover the blank space between.

“We’ve been together for months, Ero. Before that, you were healing. For months. After my recovery, I started working for Ananke. I tracked you down and found you right before all of this.”

“That math doesn’t work. None of this makes sense. Why can’t I find any clues about my family? About yours?”

“I don’t know!” she screams, grabbing at her hair.

“Remember!” I yell, slamming my palms down on the table.

“I can’t!” Circe snarls, turning away. “I don’t want to!”

“Why not?!”

“Because it hurts . Because I like things the way that are between us. It’s easier that way.”

“Easier? Maybe. But not better. Not whole.”

“When have we ever been whole? I might not remember much, but I know who I am. I know who you are. We’ve done terrible things, Ero. Lived through terrible things. Can’t we just be together now and try to make a life?”

“What kind of life would it be?”

“One where we have someone .”

“Then let’s leave. Together.”

“We can’t. I can’t. I owe Ananke that much at least. To see this through.” Tears well at her eyes. I hate them and the pain behind them. “Please. I need you to have my back, Ero.”

“I do. But you don’t have mine. You belong to her.”

“We both do! Everything we have she gave us. We have to believe that it meant something.”

“Right. So we are supposed to trust her?”

“No! We are supposed to trust each other!”

A little scoff puffs my chest, my head drooping. “I can’t trust anything you tell me. You don’t think I ever found a way to listen in on your conversations with Ananke? We’re spies, Circe. Hunters. I heard you.”

“Heard what?”

“He’s a shell, a tool…Compartmentalize…Remember that he was your enemy,” I quote softly. “You regret lying to me all the time. You know you must keep me occupied and busy so I don’t fall out of line…”

“I—” she chokes, her body quivering.

“I want you out of my head. I want whichever life was implanted in my mind gone. And I hope it was the one with you in it,” I hiss.

Circe’s face falls, her eyes dropping to the floor. Two drops hit the table, splattering her grief.

My heart shrivels, my anger withering my soul to dust.

“Fine. You want it that way?” Her eyes harden, her shoulders stiffen.

“This mission…is one I have been waiting a long time for. We are finally going to the US. To hunt down a lead on Dom Vipera’s assets.

To find out where the feds are holding him.

So I want you at your best. Focused. Behaving.

Because I will not tolerate losing my only chance to kill the man who wiped out my family. ”

“Do you even hear yourself? How insane you sound?”

Circe goes ice cold. “I’m sorry, Ero.”

A sick weight plummets in my stomach.

Her lips move, but I hear nothing. The world tips upside down, everything crawling to a halt. I want to cover my ears. To stop the rail spike that smashes into my skull.

Time kicks back in, I stumble backward, stopping myself against the kitchen counter. She’s right there, catching me before I fall. The woman of my dreams. Tears in her eyes.

“Ero …”

“What happened?”

“You almost fainted.”

“I did?”

“But I’ve got you … you’re safe.”

And I feel it, the embrace of her protection, the comfort of her arms. The soft caress of her lips. I let go and sink into her.