Page 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

T he glorious smell of fresh coffee is almost immediately ruined by the cruel words from my so-called best friend's lips, “Can we make those both decaf, please?”

“It’s just one coffee,” I say petulantly as we take our sadly decaffeinated drinks over to a quiet corner table. After taking my seat, I find myself pouting down at the mug while Suvi gives me her sternest ‘no arguing with the healer’ face.

“You know you’re supposed to be avoiding caffeine,” she says when I stubbornly refuse to take a sip. Usually I’d try and guzzle the coffee down while it’s still hot enough to burn my throat, but considering this drink is missing its magic ingredient, there’s not much point. Does anyone truly drink coffee solely for the flavour? I don’t believe it. Coffee’s gift to the world is in its caffeine content.

“Do we even know for sure if caffeine is going to hurt this baby? It might be different,” I whisper, mindful of any witches who, like us, may have decided to visit the mostly human-filled cafe.

It definitely wouldn’t be a good idea to be overheard admitting to carrying a borderline-illegal hybrid baby. I’m sure if they could have made it a law to ban them, they would have. The council probably only held back because it wasn’t worth the side-eyeing they’d get from all of the other species if they did. While demons are disliked by several species, none have quite the torrid history our kind has with them. Humans are probably second in that respect, though they tend to have issues with most supernatural species, as they’d call us. Though the hate has slowly melted into a more general mistrust and avoidance over the centuries, with some exceptions.

“That’s not how it works, Eden,” Suvi says with a sigh.

“Are you sure? Like, really sure?” I squint, trying to picture what caffeine might do to a demon baby. I mean, I can’t even evict the little thing with either magic or medicine, so what the heck is coffee gonna do? Not that I really want to evict them now, but still. If it’s not possible, what could a tiny little bit of sweet caffeine goodness really do?

“Yes,” she answers, sounding exasperated with my persistence. “While the baby’s nature means the risk of it causing a miscarriage is practically nil, caffeine can still pass through the blood-placental barrier and?—”

“No. Nope. No, thank you. Please, don’t start talking about blood-placentas and stuff,” I cut her off pleadingly. “I promise to be good and not drink caffeine, even if I am more exhausted than I’ve ever been before in my entire freaking life. Just don’t make me endure medical talk, I beg you.”

“You’re so dramatic. Besides, there's still a hint of caffeine in decaf; it’s just a tiny amount. Also, I hate to have to say it, but you really should start learning more about the process your body is going through,” Suvi says gently. “I know it’s hardly fair. You have so much less time to learn and prepare for their arrival, but it’s important you do. You don’t want any unpleasant surprises before, during, or after their birth. What if the baby has tongue tie and can’t nurse? Or if one of your nipples is inverted? Or you can’t produce milk at all? What if the baby is breech? Have you thought about pain management? Or lack thereof?”

Her words ignite a burning anxiety in my throat that has me choking on the tiny sip of coffee I finally took. Despite it obviously being her concern rather than judgement prompting her to say all of this, it still sparks the terrible thought that I’m not doing enough. That I’m failing this baby and myself by not researching more. Hell, when it comes to being prepared, I haven’t bought one freaking baby-related item yet. I’ve told myself it’s all because they’re a demon-hybrid child, and who knows what they’ll possibly need…but surely some things are universal? I’ve been so focused on the idea of hunting down the sperm supplier, I haven’t had room in my head for any other thoughts.

Will they need a normal crib? What about blankets, toys, and cute little socks…? Will it even have normal toes!?

“Oh my Goddess. I’m so sorry,” Suvi exclaims, her hand reaching over to grab mine and squeeze it while suddenly apologising for some bizarre reason. I glance down, noticing my tears as they hit the table beside our joined hands.

I’m crying. Shit. Of course I am.

“D-Don’t be sorry.” I sniff as I pull my hand away to wipe my face with a napkin, attempting to dab away the stupid tears and regain some control over myself.

“I made you cry. You hate crying.”

“My ridiculous hormones made me cry, not you,” I disagree, still crying despite my efforts to stop. “You’re only trying to care for me and to get me to care for myself…” It’s something I’ve never been great at, so how the hell am I going to take care of someone else? Is it really my hormones causing the overwhelming emotions or is it that I’m only now realising what a terrible mother I’m going to be?

Sure, I know to avoid alcohol, caffeine, and sushi, but what else am I supposed to be avoiding or consuming more of? What does a demon birth even look like? I know that epidurals are commonly used in both human and witch labours to ease the pain of the process, but will it work on me in my current state? Or will the baby’s magic interfere with that too? How is it different from a normal pain reliever, anyway? I mean, I think there’s maybe a really big needle involved…

“While it’s perfectly normal for your emotions to feel more intense during pregnancy, I still should have approached this differently,” she says sincerely, turning to glare at the occupants of the closest table who’ve paused to watch the show. They wisely turn away, and she sighs, the exhale somehow conveying both her irritation and regret. “And definitely not while we’re in public.”

“You were right, though. I know nothing about what’s happening to me. I did some general research during the first few days, but then I…I just…” I trail off, not wanting to make excuses for myself. Not when I should be doing so much more than I am. I’ve already let them down, and they’re not even here yet.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You can’t expect to become an expert on a topic overnight. Especially not on one that has no experts.”

“It’s not that I think I should know everything. It’s that I essentially know nothing. I don’t even know how an epidural works!” I reply, losing volume control of my voice as I speak. Mortified, I hide my rapidly flushing face in my hands against the table, though it doesn’t help much when I can feel the judgemental eyes turning our way.

That was so stupid. Why would I do that?

“Deep breaths. It’ll be okay. You’re okay,” Suvi says, grabbing my hand again and squeezing.

“Nothing’s okay,” I mumble into my hands. Though between my hands being in the way of my lips, the continued crying, and the sudden challenge taking a breath has become, the words sound far more like ‘ nuf-in-’s o-ay.’

“Things are complicated, but you’re going to be fine. Both of you will be fine.” The table creaks as she leans over it to be closer, also lowering her voice so she won’t be overheard. “I’ve been doing, and will keep doing, all the research I can for your pregnancy. I have some stuff in my car I’ve copied for you to read. There’s not a whole lot freely available, but I found mention of a few restricted texts an old friend managed to get me some photocopies of. They’ve been very enlightening.”

“What if they talk?” I ask, the alarm caused by her words forcing my head up from the table to look at her. I’m not sure what I’m hoping to find in Suvi’s expression, reassurance or maybe shared fear, but I search for it.

“They won’t,” she answers, her steady eyes meeting mine projecting her complete confidence in that.

“How’d you get them to help?”

“I said it was a personal curiosity of mine, and considering how strange some of my other interests have been over the years, they didn’t question it once they confirmed I wasn’t pregnant.”

“They really asked you that?”

“No, but they did watch me very closely when I took a shot of vodka after I asked for the books. That was out of concern, though. If I’d told them I was the one pregnant with a little demonling, I'm pretty sure they’d have helped anyway. Not that I would ever risk your secret by sharing it with them.”

“But you trusted a strange group of hunters would keep it if I told them?” I point out. The puzzled frown my words put on her face reflects confusion right back at me. “I just mean that when you recommended I go to them for help, you seemed weirdly sure I could spill it all out to them.”

“Because they’re not strangers, Eden. Torrin’s my cousin. Well, I guess they all are, technically. Didn’t I mention that?”

“No. You absolutely did not. He’s your cousin?!” I blink as I try to wrap my head around the idea. It bizarrely makes a lot of sense. They even have the same hazel eyes now that I think about it. I’m an utter moron.

“What? Is it really so unbelievable? His mother’s my dad’s sister.” She shrugs.

“Well, I suppose that is how cousins work,” I mutter sarcastically, the information apparently enough to shock me right out of one emotional outburst and into a whole new one. “You mean to say you’ve had this hot, competent, funny, and kind cousin this entire time we’ve known each other, and you never thought to…hmm, maybe set a witch up?”

“You like Torrin?” she asks, clearly surprised. “Honestly, of the three of them, I figured Rio would be more your type. Hell, Daion’s weird brooding would probably be more your thing than Torrin.”

It’s a good thing I gave up drinking my evil decaffeinated coffee after that first awful sip because I surely would have spat it right out at that suggestion.

“You’re joking, right?”

“What? No. What did he do? Do I need to make a call and put the fear of Aunt Ava in him?”

“You’re really saying you’d call his mother on him?” I can’t help but grin at the thought. The mental image is too amusing not to. The little I’ve heard of her from Daion, Marbles, and now linking it to the few mentions Suvi’s made about her aunt, she sounds like she wouldn’t be the type to take shit. That she could absolutely, as Suvi suggests, put the fear of Ava Fletcher into people.

“If he deserves it.” She shrugs. “What happened? I imagined you'd get on, what with how similar you two are in some ways.”

“We’re nothing alike,” I reply, immediately refuting the claim before adding quietly, “Rio thought I was a succubus when we first met. He tried to kill me, rather persistently, until Daion showed up and talked sense into him.”

“He thought…wait. Fuck. That’s how Ava ended up taking him in. A succubus killed his parents,” she says, more to herself than to me, as she processes the information I’ve given her against what she already knows of him. “I always knew why she’d adopted him, but even if he was traumatised as a kid, I didn’t think he’d act like that to any random demon now. Or towards someone who gave off the energy of one, anyway.”

Damn it. I’d figured as much, but hearing it plainly confirmed is still awful. More sympathy for Rio, just great. Even without the details laid out for me, it was still obvious to some degree what happened and why he reacted the way he does towards me. Dai had said their reasons for being adopted were similar, and it’s always been clear he’s hated succubi and incubi above all others.

“I think it was the fact I was in their office unannounced, giving off ‘demon energy’ that put him on edge,” I admit. “I’m sure they don’t get many of their kind coming into the office by choice.”

“That’s true, I suppose.”

“Then my…uh…vitav issue made it worse. I’m sure that he hates me more every time we interact because of that.”

“It’s been causing you problems again already?” she demands, obviously worried.

“Mostly it’s only feeling tired or dizzy,” I answer, trying to make it sound like it isn’t a huge deal before admitting quietly, “And apparently, I keep letting off a succubus lure thing. It’s not on purpose, though. I wouldn't?—”

“Of course it’s not on purpose. It mentioned this in some of those texts, with thankfully more information than I knew about the topic before,” she whispers, somehow still firm despite the softness to her voice. “It talks about how the mother can absorb traits from the subspecies of demon she’s carrying. Though, if you could successfully feed your vitav drain with sex, it would save me draining myself dry to juice you up with medical techniques I shouldn’t really be doing.”

“That would require someone to have sex with,” I retort, rolling my eyes. “And the fact I can’t control the effect doesn’t make me feel very sure I could do it safely, even if someone was willing to try. No wonder Rio hates me.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t. He’s helping you, isn’t he?”

“Only because Daion and Torrin outvoted him. They’ve both been really kind. More understanding than I’d imagine anyone in this situation being, honestly.”

“I’m sorry,” Suvi says quietly.

“Don’t be, it’s hardly your fault. You were right to send me to them. I’m sure I’d never find Ash without their help. It’s proving hard enough with their assistance. They really have been good to me, and not just with helping search for Ash.”

“Still, I’m sorry anyway. I feel like I should have seen this coming, but I’ve always been much closer with Torrin than the other two. Not because of anything stupid like him being the only one to share my DNA, mind you. He was just the closest to my age when we were little. Torrin is a couple months shy of being two years older than me, and Daion’s about six and a half years older, I think? And at four years old, ten seems super old.” She grins to herself as if recalling a fond memory for a moment before her expression sours. “Rio wasn’t adopted until he was about eleven, I think. He didn’t really care to talk to me much back then, despite the fact we were closer in age than Torrin and I were.”

“How could anyone have not loved you as a kid?” I tease, recalling the awkward but treasured pictures she has of herself as a child. The good memories behind them clearly outweigh her embarrassment at her younger self, and so they sit displayed on practically every surface of her home. There’s no doubting the love Suvi grew up surrounded by, and I wonder if any of those pictures feature her cousins. If I’ve seen their younger faces before and simply haven’t realised it. “You were the cutest little witch.”

“Shut up. I was gangly and had to wear an eyepatch.”

“Totally adorable,” I insist, enjoying the torment of my bestie, especially because she never thought to introduce me to her attractive cousins. The audacity of her to call herself my friend and not help a girl out. All the times I’ve complained about the lack of interesting guys in this city, and she’s been hiding them away!

What would have happened if I’d met the three of them normally, not while pregnant with a demon’s baby and in desperate need of their help? Would we have clicked? Would Rio not have instantly hated me? Torrin better still have shared his pie in whatever alternate existence that meeting occurs in; otherwise, I fear for his safety from the other version of Eden.

“Lost in thought?” Suvi says, jolting me out of my own head.

“Just pondering the multiverse,” I reply, brushing her off and forcing myself to take a sip of my coffee. Buzzless and practically lukewarm by this point. Ugh.

“Hmm, yeah. In at least one of those other universes, I probably was cute. Why couldn’t I have been born in that one?” she asks jokingly.

“Because, obviously, I need you in this one.”

“Damn fucking right you do.”

“Speaking of…can we maybe ditch this place?” And this awful, soulless coffee. “We could take those photocopies to the park and read over them together. There’s still so much I need to learn about all this, so why not start now?”

“Of course we can!” Suvi agrees brightly, clearly pleased.

We stand to leave, but in my eagerness to get moving, I send my coffee cup flying with my elbow. Shit. I reach out a hand without thinking, pausing the cup and its contents in midair with a silent mental command. It wavers suddenly, colours and lights flashing in my vision as I start to sway on the spot, desperately willing everything around me to be still.

“Eden?!” Suvi gasps, her hands grabbing my shoulders as the cup and I both fall. Thankfully, I have a friend to catch me. The shattering crash indicates the cup was less fortunate. At least no real coffee was lost.

The world starts to spin faster, and my stomach churns. I suddenly feel so empty, like a void has opened up inside of me and needs to be filled. A cold hand presses on my forehead and I try to pull back, only to be tsked at as I feel Suvi's mental presence poking at my own.

“Shhh. Let me help you,” she mutters.

“You can’t do that again,” I manage to grumble. “Especially not here.” Even while half-lying on the floor, half-resting against my friend with my head pounding as it spins, I can feel all of the eyes in the cafe on us.

“You need help,” she protests.

“Not like this,” I insist, shutting my eyes to try and ward off all the discomforting sensations assaulting me at once.

Did someone turn up the brightness in here or something?

I hear someone approach and ask Suvi something, but I can't string together all the words they’re saying into something understandable in my brain. I catch her reply, though. Her familiar voice sharply tells them she’s a healer and has the situation under control.

“Eden?” she asks worriedly, her concern managing to pull me back into reality a little more. I have no idea how long I’ve been on the floor.

“Still alive,” I answer, forcing the words out.

“Just hold on. You’ll be fine. I’m going to call for some help, okay?” Suvi promises reassuringly.

“Nobody can help,” I protest, but either she doesn’t hear or chooses to ignore me.

The next thing I’m aware of is a pair of strong arms lifting me up.

I breathe in citrus and leather, and without thinking, I snuggle closer, just taking it in. It’s familiar. The arms holding me squeeze me tighter, a low voice whispering something I can't make out, followed quickly by what sounds like Suvi’s voice. It takes a few moments for me to realise I’m being carried somewhere, only fully clicking shortly before I’m set back down, finding myself lying across the backseat of a car.

“I’m no…I’m saying. Don’t be. Maybe Torrin would…ter choice?” Suvi’s voice catches my ears, only a few words making it through to my brain here and there. Goddess, I’m so tired. Would it be so bad if I just fell asleep for a little while? I’m sure I'll feel better after a quick nap…

“She can choose,” someone replies. Their voice is tense, like they’re …insulted? But why…and who?

I try harder to focus on what they’re saying, needing to know what’s going on. It doesn’t matter if it makes my head hurt worse from all of the effort it takes.

“Can she really? I doubt she can stand, let alone consent to shit,” Suvi snaps from somewhere out of sight, her voice absolutely scathing. Where is she? Why is she so mad?

“If you try to give her energy using the same trick you did before, she will drain you dry. It’s gone too far for that, and you know it. If you open up the flow of magic between you, she will suck it all in like a black hole and leave you with nothing. You’ll die.”

I know that voice.

“And you’re such an expert?” Suvi questions.

“I know more about this than you,” Daion replies tensely.

Daion! When did he get here?

“Did she just mumble your name in her sleep?”

“I think so. Look, I can give her something back at the office that’ll wake her up properly. It won’t last more than an hour, but it will give her a clear head to make her own choice. I didn't realise it had gotten this bad already, or I’d have brought up the topic again sooner...”

“Is…safe…baby?” The words begin getting harder to keep up with again. I would scream from frustration if I could. As it is, the only sound I manage is a wordless grumble.

“Better tha…her dying. Do…think?”

I barely even notice the darkness pulling me under as I finally pass out in the back of the demon hunter’s car.