Page 48

Paige

M om and I share a Thanksgiving breakfast at the restaurant in my building, and then she’s hugging me goodbye. All too soon.

I want to argue. I want to beg her to stay, but she told me this was a fly-by visit. I knew. Her leaving didn’t come as a surprise. She never usually strays far from New York, so I should be grateful she came at all.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” She squeezes my hand and motions toward the door. “I’m not saying you should run away, but if you need to disappear for a few weeks, you're always welcome home.”

“I am home. This is my home. I just have no idea what I’m doing at the moment.” My voice wavers and Mom squeezes my hand again, pulling me back into a hug. I may have made a mess of things with Isaac and Easton, but I still can’t bring myself to leave. I need to be close to them. Just the thought of going away has me anxious and struggling for air.

“I don’t know what to do,” I whisper against Mom’s shoulder before shaking myself off and stepping back.

“I’m going to come back.” She grabs my arms, determination set in her gaze. “Next week, I’ll come back. I just have to go home today. It’s important.”

“I get it, it’s fine. You don’t have to come back. I’m a D’Angelo and a Bianci. I can handle anything.” I smile but it doesn’t transfer to Mom. She sees through my attempt to be brave.

“We’re not all strong. Trust me. Don’t forget I fell apart when your dad left.”

“Well, I got the strong parts of both of you. I’ve got this.”

“Paige—”

“No, Mom. You better go. You have a flight to catch.”

Mom opens her mouth to speak again, but I turn away and collect her bags. All three of them for one night. If it was anyone else, I’d assume she was staying longer, but this is minimal for Mom.

“I’ll call you when I get home. And tomorrow.”

“I’m fine.” I laugh to hide the sharp pain in my chest. “Go. Before you get stuck here.”

Mom frowns and I can tell she has more to say, but she knows me well enough to stay quiet. So, without another word, she presses a kiss to my head, then she’s gone.

Leaving me alone.

And I crumble.

I’m not sure how much time passes before I pick myself up and stare at my tear-soaked face in the mirror. What am I doing? I need to pull myself together. This is on me. I can’t wallow. I need to do something to get out of my head.

After changing into workout gear, I wash my face and reapply my minimal makeup even though I plan to get sweaty, hoping to convince myself that if I look put together, I might actually feel it.

When I’m done, I dance around my apartment, working to increase my serotonin, shaking the darkness out of my mind until I’m ready to face the world. I need fresh air and a run to clear my head.

I am a strong, beautiful, confident woman. I made a mistake but I will get through it. It’s only a matter of time before it all blows over. I asked Dad to pause his investigation, for now, and I told Christian’s mom that I would keep my mouth shut and begged her not to release those specific images. I just have to hope she believes me. For Easton’s sake.

I’m not giving up on it, because they deserve to be punished, but I need to wait until things have settled down for Easton and Isaac, until they know what their future holds.

Taking a deep breath, I ride the elevator with a smile on my face and alight with a bounce in my step. It’s all fake but if I look the part, people will believe it.

Shaking my shoulders one more time, I walk through the doors to the street and come face-to-face with a sea of cameras, seconds before the flashing begins. I lift my hands to shield my eyes, but pause. That’s what they want. They want to capture a photo of me falling apart. But I refuse to let them.

Standing tall, I pop my hip and smile, waving to the cameras, not a care in the world. On the outside anyway. Inside, I’m drowning. Mom’s gone. Dad sent me some bullshit message about a team meeting today. On Thanksgiving. And I can’t go to Easton, no matter how much I want to.

I’m a positive person. Always have been. And yet, on a day that’s supposed to celebrate what we’re thankful for, I’ve got nothing. I’m empty.

The gossip-seekers bark random questions my way, all of which I ignore. And when I’ve given them all I can give, I wave again, tears threatening to overcome me as I turn around, seconds from falling apart.

I’ve just reached the doors when one of them calls out, and I foolishly glance back.

“I’ve heard about the unreleased photos, Paige. Are they all Easton? Or have you been doing the rounds?”

My body trembles as I struggle to hold back the floodgates, forcing another smile until a second voice calls out, telling me they love my work.

“Don’t listen to the haters,” she says and I swallow a lump in my throat, mouthing a thank you as I spin around and trip, or perhaps shatter, crashing into a familiar embrace right as the first tear falls.

Easton wraps me in his hold as he buries my face in his neck and drags me away from the spotlight.

“I’ve got you, Paige.” His grip on me tightens, perhaps aware I’m about to crack, knowing he’s the only thing keeping me together. “Just keep walking,” he repeats, his voice easing my pain, coursing through me like a shot of morphine. Even though it shouldn’t. “ I’ve got you.”

I let him hold me until we’re in the elevator and then I spring back as though his touch burns, panic taking over. “What are you doing?” I whisper-yell despite being alone. “I told you we can’t be together. You have to stay away.”

“No. I don’t accept that.”

“It’s not a resignation. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Like hell it doesn’t.” He steps closer, forcing me backward until I hit the mirrored wall behind me.

“What happened to ‘I can’t drag Isaac into the spotlight.’ You’ve always said that.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to break up. Did I ever say I wanted you to run back to New York and out of my life?”

“No. But we knew our situation was delicate. That’s why we kept things casual.”

“Enough with the casual talk, Paige.” His voice rises as the doors open to my level. “This hasn’t been casual for a long time.” He holds the door and motions for me to step through, following me to my apartment. “These feelings I have are way beyond casual. So what? You expect me to switch them off and pretend I don’t love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone other than Isaac?”

“No. I feel the same. What I expect you to do is focus on that love for Isaac. You need to get custody. You need to do what’s right for him.”

I unlock the door so I don’t have to look at his face, and walk inside, holding it open this time, knowing he’s going to follow me.

“I am doing all of those things,” he snaps, walking through to the living room before spinning around to face me. “I am,” he repeats. “But I’m doing them with you by my side. I’m in those photos, Paige. It’s not just you.”

“But it’s not your fault they’re getting released.”

“It’s not yours, either.”

He stands tall, defiant, and I change tack. “Okay, you want to be together? What happens if I mess up again? What if we fight our way out of this but then something else comes along? Maybe I’m not cut out for this life. What if we want different things? What if you come to resent me? Or worse…what if you lose Isaac?”

Easton sighs before running a hand down his face. “Is this your out, Paige? Do you want to run? To leave us? I pushed Macy into staying when she didn’t want to, and I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll never do that again. But I’m not ready to let you go. I want to fight, Paige. But only if there’s something to fight for.”

His ocean-blue eyes bore pleadingly into mine, and it momentarily renders me speechless, my words caught in my throat. “Please,” he says, begging me to stay.

“I’m not leaving, Easton, and I’m not Macy. I want to be with you, more than anything. But I can’t be the reason you lose him.”

“So you care about Isaac?”

“Of course I do. I—”

“And you want to protect him?”

“ Yes . How could you even ask me that? All of this is for him . And you. I’m a mess. You both deserve so much better and—”

“Do you think you could ever love him?” He cuts me off again, stepping closer, staring at me pointedly. “Like your own.”

I pause, though I don’t have to think about my answer. “I already love him, Easton. I don’t think I’ve ever given a bigger piece of my heart to anyone before. And I’m not even sorry that it’s him and not you . I love you, Easton. I’m more in love with you than I ever thought possible. But Isaac… I’d choose him over you. Any day of the week. I love you both.”

Easton sucks in a breath, his eyes glistening with tears before he wipes them away and clears his throat. “How can you walk away if you feel all that? How can you break both our hearts when that one little statement just erased years of pain and fear for me?”

“Because if I don’t, those fears could become a reality.”

“But they might not. We could be happy. We could be a family.”

“Easton—”

“Don’t run. Please. Let’s fight this together.”

My breath hitches, and all my resolve disintegrates as his words penetrate my heart, the fight leaving me. “I wasn’t going to run,” I whisper, certain that if I spoke out loud my voice would crack. “I had the chance to go this morning. But I stayed. I can’t be away from you. Even if I am ruining your life.”

“You’re not ruining our lives, Paige. I may not know what the future will bring, and God knows it feels like the world is against us, but our lives are significantly better with you in them. And I don’t want to find out what it would be like without you.”

My eyes water again, and this time I allow the tears to fall. With Easton it feels easier to show my emotion. “Okay,” I whisper through the tears. “Okay.”

“Thank God.” Easton sighs as he reaches forward and pulls me into his arms, holding me close before releasing me. “A little part of me wants to tie you up and punish you for even thinking about running. But I also want to lock you in my arms and tell you it’s all going to be okay. Because it is. I won’t let this end any differently. I can’t. We both need you too much.”

“I’m so scared, Easton.”

“I know. But I’m not going to let anything happen to you or Isaac.” He grabs my chin and tilts my head up until I’m looking at him. “Ever. You got that?”

“Yes.” I nod softly, a genuine smile finally gracing my lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He takes my lips in a gentle kiss before pulling back and resting his forehead to mine. “Can we go and celebrate Thanksgiving now? I know a little boy that will be over the moon to see you.”

Just like that. He’s ready to begin our lives together. And so should I be. “Of course.” I press another chaste kiss to his lips, my mind still reeling. “Just let me get changed.”

While my fears haven’t lessened, I couldn’t say no. I love them both too much. We still have a long road ahead of us with Macy and the Mikklesons. I just have to pray it all goes our way.

With my heart full, but my stomach still in knots, I quickly get ready, already guilty enough without adding the fact that Easton’s currently away from his family on this special day.

After cursing to myself, I put on a smile and lighten the mood. “If only I had a quiet life,” I call out as I’m walking down the hallway. “Then no one would care. There’d be no articles about me, no photographers wanting to cash in on me falling apart. No threats from asshole billionaires. But who am I if I’m not socialite Paige D’Angelo?”

I laugh, stepping into the living room to find Easton, his brows furrowed, running his finger along a sketch I did of Isaac. “You’re an artist,” he whispers in awe and I cringe.

“Shit. You weren’t supposed to see that.” I rush over to take the sketch from his hands, but he stands up and holds it out of reach.

“This is amazing, Paige. If I wasn’t looking at it closely, I’d swear it was a photo. The details. The likeness. The shading. It’s…no, you’re incredible.”

“It’s nothing. I was just messing around and—”

“Nothing? Are you kidding me? Why are you hiding these away? Have you done any more?”

My heart races as he hits me with so much wonderment that it makes me squirm. I have done more. So many. But I never planned on anyone seeing them. It’s my escape, my solace.

And yet, as I stare up into Easton’s penetrating gaze, I realize I don’t need those things to protect me anymore. I have him. And Isaac. It’s about time I shared that part of myself with someone else.

It’s about time I let someone else in. Completely.