Page 6 of Defending Love

Chapter Five

Dani

A fter closing the bedroom door, I dropped my shoes and flopped back on the bed with my eyes closed. Eli’s words ran through my thoughts—get my life back.

What was my life?

Work.

I loved my work in the Sinclair labs or sitting behind a computer.

Research opened a door in my soul that longed to be filled.

I craved more information, new discoveries, and revealing what was previously unknown.

Dad encouraged that part of me, saying that he wished he shared my unbridled thirst for knowledge.

Dad.

The question I asked Damien and Ella came back to me. Could Dad’s murder be a disgruntled patient or family member of a patient related to our marketed products? My thoughts went to Propanolol.

I officially became a significant part of Sinclair Pharmaceuticals after completing my PhD in pharmacological research.

Before that time, I spent any time I could with the Sinclair chemists who created the revolutionary compound.

Dr. David Carpenter was our primary researcher.

The work with Propanolol was more exciting than anything being done at the university.

In the Sinclair labs, Dr. Carpenter and the other scientists isolated the organic compound propanolamine and mutated it at positions one and three.

Prior to coming to Sinclair, Dr. Carpenter had connections to another scientist who had been working on a similar project at a small university.

That research was shut down, a funding issue I was told.

Truly, without David’s previous knowledge, Sinclair’s Propanolol wouldn’t exist. Currently, it was the top compound for treating post-traumatic stress disorder. As a treatment for PTSD, many assumed that Propanolol erased memories; it didn’t.

Instead, the compound interrupted the sequence of memories, causing a favorable pairing as opposed to a negative one. What made it remarkable was that not everyone had the same trigger and yet we found success.

During earlier trials, there were military veterans who had different triggers.

There was one man who couldn’t watch fireworks.

During battle, fireworks were used for communication before an offensive.

The different colors told the soldiers what was going to happen.

There was another volunteer who suffered serious injuries in a car accident.

Simply getting into a car was torture. The formula worked in both cases.

If a consumer didn’t receive the anticipated relief from Propanolol, that should have been observed by the physician and psychiatrist. They would then be able to adjust dosages. Monitoring of patients was crucial in prescribing Propanolol.

How or why would a person hunt down the retired CEO?

It didn’t make sense.

Not that I wanted my brother to be harmed, but Damien was the current CEO and the man responsible for bringing Dr. David Carpenter to Sinclair.

Could the assailant be someone who worked for Dad?

The more I thought, the more questions came to mind.

It was a never-ending cycle.

Forcing myself from the comfortable bed, I stripped out of my black dress and sheer tights before making my way into the bathroom.

Dropping my bra and panties on the bathroom floor, I turned the shower’s dial to hot.

Under the prickling spray, I lifted my chin, letting the water pelt my face as tears returned.

My life back.

My work.

My family.

My security.

By the time I turned off the shower, my fingertips were pruney, but for the moment, I was out of tears. Wiping the steam from the mirror over the vanity, I stared into my own bloodshot eyes. A few eyedrops and the redness lessened.

After covering my face with moisturizer, I combed my wet long hair. It was as I slipped into a soft pair of shorts and an oversized shirt that I remembered my bodyguard. It wasn’t like I could forget him; I simply needed to say my own goodbye to Dad before I could face the present.

Life needed me to move forward. It was what my father would have wanted.

Another glance in the mirror told me that I should dress more appropriately. My shorts were short, and I wasn’t wearing a bra. I inhaled, noticing the way the shirt tented over my nipples.

To hell with that.

Ella had gotten the bodyguard that made her life less complicated. I got the man that was nothing but complicated.

If Eli Rhodes agreed to infiltrate my life, he’d need to deal with me as I was. And at this moment, this was who I was.

Opening the door to my bedroom, I spotted Eli sitting at the breakfast counter, the one separating the kitchen from the living room. His attention was focused on his tablet, leaving him unaware that I’d reentered the living room.

There was a theory about mind and body memories that surfaced in our research.

While both forms of memories were largely based on reality, the human brain had the unique ability to amplify or diminish said memories, much the same as researchers who created gene sequencing to revive previously extinct creatures.

When missing all the original DNA, substitute DNA, like that from a frog, could be used to fill in the blanks.

Our memories were similar. We received a stimulus—a sight or a scent—and it had the power to bring back memories, creating projections within our thoughts. If we didn’t recall every detail, our mind filled in the blanks.

Over the last year, I wondered if I’d elaborated my memories of Elijah Rhodes.

Had I made him into more of a man than he was?

As I stood silently and stared at his brown hair tied into a short ponytail at the nape of his neck, his wide shoulders, and then lower to his trim waist where his white shirt was tucked into his black pants, I realized the truth.

I hadn’t exaggerated my recollections. If anything, I’d minimized them. Perhaps it was a survival technique.

To have meticulously recalled a man I never expected to see again—a man like Eli—would be to forever compare every other man to him. To date, I’d yet to meet anyone who came remotely close.

I’d successfully suppressed the memory of our kiss and the fire in his touch—until now.

My breathing deepened, pressing my breasts against the material of my shirt. Darting my tongue to my lips, I recalled the ferocity of his pressing down on mine.

My memories, completely restored and without elaboration, were back with a vengeance, warming my circulation and twisting my core.

Eli turned, his shimmering green eyes scanning from my bare feet up to my wet hair, and a grin tugged at his lips. “Do you feel better?”

Inhaling, I nodded. “I didn’t nap, but the shower was good.”

He stepped from the stool.

It was my turn to scan. Starting with shiny dark shoes, long legs clad in black pants, up to a black belt, I pressed my lips together.

His white button-up shirt was unbuttoned at the neck, and his tie and jacket from earlier were missing.

The ring on his left hand caught my attention.

He’d worn it before, but then it wasn’t anything other than decoration to deter advances so as to keep his attention on the job.

Eli must have followed my gaze. He lifted his hand and spun the gold band. “I didn’t marry if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“None of my business.”

“Neither have you.”

“None of your business.”

“Technically, as your bodyguard, it would be my business.”

I took a few steps closer. “I thought when you left last time, you said you didn’t believe in long-term or repeat assignments.”

His head moved from side to side. “Fuck, Dani. Don’t read more into this than it is. Your father was murdered, and I wanted to be sure you were safe.”

One more step closer and the woodsy scent of his cologne tickled my senses. “I wasn’t safe with Melinda?”

“She couldn’t stay.”

“You don’t trust your fellow bodyguards at Guardian Security?”

Eli came closer still, causing me to lift my chin to maintain eye contact.

It was when his palm gently cupped my cheek that I closed my eyes, feeling his touch tingle throughout my already-warmed circulation.

When I opened my eyes, he was close enough for me to feel the radiating heat from his hard body.

“I never should have kissed you.” His nostrils flared. “Before. It was wrong.”

I swallowed the disappointment I knew was in store and took a step back. “Don’t worry. I’m only a job. You made that clear.”

“Did you tell anyone about the kiss?”

I shook my head.

His green eyes hooded as he peered down at the floor and back up to meet my gaze. “I’m not like that, Dani. I’ve worked for Ben for almost ten years, and I’ve never gotten personal with a client.”

“Never?”

“Not a client.” His nostrils flared. “Just you, and I did what I could to correct it.”

“You left,” I said matter-of-factly.

Eli nodded. “I was a fucking coward.”

My lips quirked. “Then you’re definitely in the wrong profession.”

“I can take on any danger. I’ve faced death more times than I can remember. I don’t get frightened easily, but there’s something about you. You scare the shit out of me.”

“Then why come ba?—”

He interrupted, his tone deepening. “Because the idea of anyone harming you is incomprehensible.”

“Eli, I’m going to be completely honest with you. Right now, I’m too fragile to allow my heart the opportunity to break.”

“I can see that.”

Exhaling, I took another step away and slapped my hands against my thighs. “I told you; I look like shit.”

“You look fucking scrumptious, even when you’re fragile.

You’re fiercely radiant when you’re strong.

” He inhaled. “For this to work” —he motioned between us— “for me to keep you safe, I need to know you still trust me and you understand that while I’m breaking my own rule by taking this job, I’ll only stay as long as you need my protection. ”

“A job,” I repeated.

“A job I won’t fail. Ben has rules. They’re there for good reasons. I can’t break them again. I know you’re off-limits. Our relationship will be professional. Can you trust me again?”

There was a lot to unpack in his statement.

“I thought you said you were never personal with another client. What rule did you break?”

His jaw clenched, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “It wasn’t a client. Can you trust me?”

Could I trust him?

“To keep me safe?” I nodded. “I can do that. I think you’re hiding something, something you don’t want to share. That’s fine. I’m only a job. I won’t trust you with my heart.”

The spark in his eyes dimmed. “That’s best. Now, let me tell you our travel plans.”