Page 12 of Defending Love

Chapter Eleven

Dani

T he descending sun sent long shadows over my mother’s lush green lawn.

After Eli did an obligatory sweep of the home, we entered together, immediately going to Dad’s office.

The closed blinds gave an eerie feel, peppering my arms with goose bumps.

Flipping the light switch did little to relieve the sensation.

The office flooded with light.

Neither of us spoke as Eli pulled the picture away from the safe door. Before I could enter the combination, Eli reached for my arm. “Maybe I should do this alone.”

I looked up at him. “Why?”

“Because we don’t know what we’ll find. What if there’s something that could sour your memories of your father.”

I inhaled. “Eli, you’re here to protect me from harm, not to protect my emotions. I want to know what Dad considered safe-worthy. Besides, my father was a great man. If he had secrets, maybe those will point us toward his killer.”

“We also could find nothing.”

“Are you suggesting that the people who took his journals also broke into his safe?” I asked.

“I just mean, that assuming there are objects or whatever inside there…it could be that none of what we find is significant.”

“Then we know.”

He reached for my shoulders. “I don’t want to see you disappointed.”

For a moment, I stared into his emerald-green eyes, searching for an answer to his sudden trepidation. His orbs filled with swirls of gold, keeping his thoughts as hidden as his recent answers. “Again, I want to do this.”

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he closed his eyes and opened them. “I need to know you’re safe.” He tilted his head forward and lowered his chin to my hair. “Dani, let me open it.”

I closed my eyes, feeling his warm breath on my hair and the strength in his hold. Without warning, I moved back and pushed up to my tiptoes, bringing my lips to his. Eli’s hands moved to my cheeks as the kiss deepened, taking away my anxiousness as well as my breath.

“Dani.”

My name resonated through the office like a low growl.

Pulling away, I pressed my tingling lips together and shook my head.

“I did that. You said that you shouldn’t have kissed me—before.

This time, I kissed you. Decide what you’re going to do.

Either you’ll stay and see this through, or you’ll leave me like you did last time. ” I turned toward the safe.

Eli spun me until we were face-to-face. “I’m not fucking leaving.”

“I know you want to protect me. I get that. What I need to know is that you’ll not run.”

He ran his palms up and down my arms. “I won’t run. The problem is, I want more than a kiss, more than your warm, sweet lips, and that’s wrong.”

“Says who?”

“It’s not only Ben’s policy, but my own.” He shook his head. “Connections blur lines that should stay distinct.”

“Then stop working on my assignment.”

“What?” he asked, confused.

“I want you, too.” I swallowed. “I’m a consenting adult, Eli. I want whatever we can get. Let someone else have my case. If what’s between us only lasts for a short time, then at least we can say we had that. If it’s meant to be longer?—”

He touched my lips with his finger. “I can’t drop you as my assignment.”

My neck stiffened. “You’re saying that you’d rather have this job than see where the two of us could go?”

“Fuck no. I want you. That want is selfish.” He pressed his firm lips together. “Keeping you safe is more than a job. I feel the need to protect you deep inside my bones, an unrelenting demand to ensure your safety. That outcome is more important than a physical desire.”

I swallowed, fighting the burning in my eyes. I’d laid my feelings on the line and been rejected. My voice cooled to a frigid tone as I reached for the safe keypad. “Fine, Eli. Do your job.”

Before I could press the first button, Eli seized my shoulders and spun my body until my back was against the tall bookcase. The shelves pressed into my back and the hardness of Eli’s body pushed against my front.

Gasping for breath, I stared upward into the cyclone of gold flecks spinning in his green irises. “What the hell?”

His lips crashed down on mine as they had the year before, bruising and taking.

The rush of adrenaline flooding my circulation caused an ensuing cataclysmic eruption of my emotions.

As much as I wanted what he was doing, I fought with all my might, pushing back against his solid, unmoving chest and twisting my face from side to side.

Relentless, Eli released my shoulders and palmed both sides of my cheeks, holding my face in place as he continued his kiss. Synapse after synapse exploded; sparks ignited. This was more than a kiss. It was an exorcism.

The flood of endorphins ripped at my grief, my sadness, intertwining desire and reminding me of my loneliness. Despite the devotion to my work and the support of my family, I had a void within me, one exemplified by the loss of my father.

Connection.

A real connection was what was missing from my life. The desire was so intense that I’d refused to face it, to acknowledge that deficit when Eli left a year ago. While I couldn’t face it then, at this moment, I had no choice.

The physical manifestation of my desire had me pinned against the bookshelf in my father’s office.

With my heart thumping violently against my breastbone, my body stopped struggling. Buzzing filled my ears as Eli’s tongue danced with mine and my thoughts collided, turning rational notions into molten goo.

My father.

Danger.

Eli’s rejection.

My kiss.

His passion.

Him.

Pressing my breasts against his solid chest, I savored the taste of his lips and the sensation of his tongue.

With the hunger of a starving man, Eli continued his devouring of my lips.

His hands lowered, pulling my hips to him.

Our closeness did more than bruise my lips.

My nipples hardened and my pussy twisted.

Finally, but too soon, Eli released his hold, leaning back while keeping our hips connected. He tipped his forehead to the top of my head. “I’m…”

The fire he’d not only lit, but tended, morphed from desire to anger. My volume rose. “Don’t you dare apologize.” I reached up to his face as he’d done to mine. My gaze locked on his.

He cocked his face to the side as he wiped a tear from my cheek that I didn’t realize I’d released.

His deep tenor slowed as his emerald eyes held me in place.

“I’m not sorry for the kiss or the way I feel about you.

” He swallowed. “I’m sorry if what I feel interferes with keeping you safe.

I could never live with myself.” He caressed my cheek.

“I don’t want to be on the earth if you’re not on it too. ”

“What about Ben’s rules? What about yours?”

Eli shook his head. “For now, I’m not going to worry about those.” His nostrils flared as his green eyes sparkled. “I knew coming back to you was a mistake.”

When I tried to move away, he held me tight.

“Not a mistake, that’s the wrong word. I knew coming back would push my own boundaries. I told myself that I could keep my hands and feelings in check.” His lips quirked upward. “In most instances, I’m always in control, overly so.”

My tension eased as his words registered. “You’re not running away?”

“No.” He inhaled and took a step back. “I’m also breaking Guardian’s and my own rules. But if I have to choose between this” —he grinned— “and your safety, your safety comes first.”

“Don’t choose.” I lifted my palm to his chest. “I want you to do both.”

“Fuck, Dani, I’ll try.”

“Okay.” I lifted my hand, palm up. “Whatever we find, we find it together.”

He laid his palm in mine and squeezed. “Would you consider letting me do this alone?”

I shook my head. “Not a chance.”

Eli’s lips quirked in a silent gesture of concession.

My pulse raced as I released his hand and turned toward the keypad. Concentrating, I entered the numbers Mom told me: 1-9-8-3 and then hit the pound sign. A green light blinked. Holding my breath, I listened as the door opened.