Page 5 of Decidedly Off Limits

And Carrie.

Carrie’s claim to fame was cheating on me—with an eighty-year-old man. I provided the cock; he provided the lifestyle she craved.

I’d long since realized I wasn’t meant for love. Love meant trust, and I didn’t have a good track record with that. Work was the one thing that wouldn’t let me down at the end of the day.

Erin approached our small group. “Kelsey, can you help me for a minute?”

“Sure.”

They walked away as Darren asked Holly a question about her job. While they were busy talking, Liam pulled me away to a quiet corner.

“I don’t know how long my mission will be this time,” he said, tone sullen, like he was going to a funeral, possibly his own. He glanced toward his sister, who was now organizing the food on the dinner table, and let out a slow breath. “Can you keep an eye out for Kelsey? Make sure she’s okay while I’m gone.”

I started. He’d never asked this of me before, even after the accident that claimed his parents’ life. But I knew that he worried about her every time he left on a mission. More so than he worried about his own safety.

Normally a “hell yes” response would be appropriate to a question like this.

Remember Best Friend Rules #1-3?

I did. I also remembered how Kelsey had done everything in her power to avoid me after I came home from college one summer. It was the summer I’d hooked up with one of my sister’s classmates, who I swear had been Velcro in a former life. “I can try. But it’s not like I see her much.”

“I know.” He let out another slow breath. “But she seems restless lately. I’d just feel better if someone makes sure she at least isn’t dating assholes. The last thing she needs is to fall for some guy like you, you know, only interested in a good time. Not interested in anything beyond that. She deserves better than that.”

Good thing I wasn’t drinking at that particular moment. I would’ve spewed my beer all over Mom’s prized tropical plant if I had been. Did he seriously expect me to vet Kelsey’s future boyfriends? I doubted she would’ve let her father do that if he were alive—and I doubted she would’ve let Liam have any say in it if he was still living in San Francisco.

And yes, his assessment of me stung a little, even if it was true.

But since I hadn’t heard anything about Kelsey even being remotely interested in dating just yet, I said, as we returned to where Holly and Darren were standing, “Okay. I can do that if you want.”

I mean, how hard would it be?

“I swear, you’ll like this guy,” Erin said as she and Kelsey approached. “He’s super sexy and eager to go out with you.”

My sister jerked her eyebrows in a comical dance—and Liam gave me a meaningful glance, reminding me of my promise.

Shit.

3

Kelsey

In everyone’slife there is that one person who thinks she’s an expert in all matters of the heart. You know the one. Sometimes she knows what she’s talking about…most times she doesn’t. Her “knowledge” is based on her many failed relationships.

Her goal? To stick her nose into your love life, whether you want her to or not.

“When was the last time you kissed a man?” Chloe asked. Her long, curly red hair was pulled back in two loose pigtails, and she watched me with her large brown eyes.

That’s right. My love expert came in the form of a six-year-old patient.

“I can’t remember.” I’d long since learned that trying to change the topic didn’t work with Chloe. You just had to go with the flow and hope for the best.

“Youhavekissed before, right?” She tossed the beanbag at me while attempting to balance on the wobble board. She swayed, her arms flailing madly about as she tried to regain her balance. “Kissing is important for a strong relationship.” Her foot touched the ground and she grunted her annoyance.

“Where did you hear that?” I asked, because there was no way a six-year-old would know that. Most believed kissing was gross.

“Ewww. Kissing is gross,” Lindsay said. See what I mean? Whereas Chloe was the love expert, Lindsay thought boys were dumb.

“Grandma,” Chloe said, ignoring Lindsay. “She also said that boys won’t buy the cow if you give away the milk for free. I don’t have a cow to sell, but I did try to give my chocolate milk to Joey. He didn’t want it. He’s lactose intolerant.”