Page 24 of Decidedly Off Limits

But they did have a point. While I was dating Owen, did he ever think about me when he was supposed to focus on his classes, focus on his internship, focus on his cases? I doubted it.

He’d never texted me just to let me know that he was thinking about me.

Nor had he ever left Post-It notes around the house like Darren did for Erin.

No, when it came down to it, there had been only one person who had done all of that during the six years we dated.

Me.

Holly took a sip of her frozen strawberry daiquiri. “What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?”

Now here’s the thing. Say you’ve only eaten burgers from a fast food chain. They aren’t bad, but they’re all the same. There’s no variation. None stand out from all the other ones you’ve eaten there.

Welcome to my former sex life with Owen.

That wasn’t to say it was bad—but there hadn’t been anything earth shattering about it either. There was no one time that stood out in my mind, because like with the fast food chain, each sexual act was exactly the same as the ones before it…and the ones that followed.

Plus, sex with Owen had been vanilla—nothing like the sex in the erotic romances I’d been known to read.

So there lay my dilemma. What was I supposed to do? Be a guy and exaggerate the truth? Because from the looks on Erin’s and Holly’s faces, they were expecting something worthy of a romance novel.

I let out a long how-do-I-answer-this sigh.

“Ohmigod,” Erin said in a rush. “Please tell me you at least had orgasms with Owen.”

“Sure I did.” Most of the time.

Okay, truthfully?

Fifty percent of the time.

Except near the end of our relationship. Drop the five from that number and you had how many orgasms I’d experienced in the final three months. And by three months, I meant the three months we were still having sex, which, by then, had fizzled to once or twice a week—if even that.

While I sipped on my frozen strawberry daiquiri, giving myself a happy buzz, Erin and Holly shared about the best sex of their lives.

And color me jealous. I wantedtheirsex lives.

Because it wasn’t just one story each.

There had to be a least ten altogether. And that was just for starters.

“All right then, what’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?” Holly asked, and they automatically turned to me, suspecting I had a lot of stories to share, no doubt.

“I guess it had to be when Owen and I first started having sex,” I said, feeling a little guilty at what I was going to tell them. But not too guilty, given I didn’t have any “great sex moments” to share with them. “I was living in the dorm and he was still living with his parents. So we had to have sex in his car. And…um…he came but didn’t realize I hadn’t, and that was the end of that.”

Erin’s eyes went wide, like the end of a stick of dynamite, fuse lit. “This was just the one time, right? Please tell me sex wasn’t always like that for you.”

“No, it got better.” Once he finally got his own apartment.

Holly raised her daiquiri glass. “We need to make a toast.” She indicated for Erin and I to pick up our drinks. “To Kelsey finding someone who rocks her world when it comes to sex, so that next time we don’t have to feel so sorry for her.”

I laughed and raised my glass. “Here, here.”

11

Kelsey

Standing in the steamy bathroom, wearing only a towel, I held up the black thong. Holly had told me to wear it tonight for the date, and maybe she was right.