Page 172 of Deceptive Vows

I’m falling apart inside, grieving for Mikhail. The tears just pour out of my eyes at will, and I’m screaming inside. I can’t believe he’s dead.

I want to grab her and kill her, but I’ve stayed calm in her presence and everybody else who’d gone in and out of this room for the last two and a half days.

Aleksander is supposed to be outside. He’s been coming back into the room repeatedly to speak with her in Russian.

Of course, I don’t know what the fuck they’re saying to each other. I’m still trying to decipher the words, although I’m sure it’s of little use to me now.

I’m fairly certain everything that happens from here onwards is going to be the shit show I have visualized in my head.

It’s a new day, and the cartel heads will be here soon. After Ivan is done with them, he’ll bring me back here and fuck me. Then I’ll die.

I’ll die the moment he touches me. Whatever I fought long and hard to keep alive inside me will die when that happens.

If it happens.

If.

I’m still holding on to the hope I might be able to escape this.

I’ve been looking around the room, and when I was left alone for a few minutes, I went to the window to look outside. That’s when I realized I know where I am.

This is one of Raul’s estate houses in El Proyecto de Lavanda. The plantation I lived on with my family isn’t far from here.

I recognized some of the surroundings and realized I’d been here a few times before with my mother. I just never went into the living quarters. It’s a massive place. Just as big as Raul’s house was. This room has the same high ceiling and long windows as some of the rooms at his home did. It’s all elaborate. I always figured this was where his business associates stayed when they came to visit. It would make sense we’re here.

Mom came here for medical supplies. This was where they were delivered.

I guess this would have been where Ivan saw her.

I can just imagine what he must have done to her. He’s about to do the same to me. It will happen if I don’t get out of here.

No matter what, I have to try. Because not trying is the same as handing him a gun and telling him to shoot me.

If I don’t try to live, I spit in the faces of all the people who died protecting me, who lost their lives so I could live.

So, I can’t not try.

The main door is to our left. I figure I can take Sophia easily, but I worry about what will happen when I get outside. I need a weapon if I’m even going to have a chance.

Aleksander has a weapon. He’s a big guy, so the problem is taking the weapon from him. The only way I can think to do that is by using her.

I don’t know how that will play out yet.

I’ve just been watching her and assessing her to figure out what she’s doing.

Ivan hasn’t been back since Sophia and that bastard Aleksander walked into the room. I should have known something was up with them being together.

It was the way he did what she told him to do that should have tipped me off. I remember that night he got me cookies and he came out of his quarters to do it.

It was because of her that he did it.

What a fucking bastard.

I wonder if Mikhail knew of his treachery or who else in the house was a traitor.

It makes me sick, but I need to cast such worries aside now and think of myself.

Mikhail would want me to survive. He wouldn’t want me to roll over and accept defeat, so I won’t.