Page 179 of Dear Love, I Hate You (Easton High)

“Aveena.” My name sounds like poetry on his lips.

I know how unsafe we’re being.

He does, too.

But neither of us pull the panic cord.

“Fuck, we can’t,” Xav says as he plunges deeper inside me. “Shit, you feel so fucking good.” He slaps my ass and I lose my

mind.

“This is a bad idea.” I moan, backing into his pelvis for more. He pumps his hips into me in response.

“Terrible idea,” he agrees, twisting my hair around his fist as he moves inside me. “Fuck, Vee… we really can’t.” He manages to think straight for a moment, slowing down the pace. “Are you even on the pill?”

“I am.” I nod. “Are you clean?”

Might’ve been a good idea to have this conversation before shoving his dick inside you, dumbass.

“Yeah. You’re the only girl I’ve slept with since I got checked,” Xav assures me, his teeth tugging at my earlobe. “You?”

“I got checked after Logan, and you’re the only one I’ve been with since… well, ever,” I admit shamefully.

That’s what seals the deal.

His chest blanketing my back, Xav smacks a long kiss over my mouth, gathering speed with each thrust. It isn’t long before he’s fucking me senseless. Our first time was amazing, but nothing compares to this. To feeling him—all of him—without a barrier.

I squirm left and right when he curls his arm under my body and starts rubbing me in vigorous circles. He doesn’t stand down until my clit is swollen under his finger. A million sparks ignite in my toes, zapping to the sensitive spot between my legs.

I yelp when he spins us around in a sudden move and lays me down on my back. Xavier climbs on top of me and positions himself just right before plowing inside me again. I cry out when one of his hand finds my throat and the other finds my clit. This time, he doesn’t kiss me, revelling in my reactions as our bodies lock together. Doggy style was better.

For my heart, at least.

It meant I didn’t have to look into his eyes.

In doggy style, I didn’t have to break.

But in missionary, I’m a splintered, glued-together china vase. Pleasure pulses through my body, and I squeeze my eyes shut.

“I’m close,” I bleat, muffling my unraveling to the best of my ability, and Xav jerks my chin forward for a hot, messy kiss.

Close to giving you up.

Close to missing you until my heart bleeds.

Close to making the choice you can’t.

His pounding loses momentum, becoming jerkier.

“I love you,” Xavier rasps in my ear, and I kiss him before I do something stupid like say it back.

“Don’t stop,” I beg as the pleasure reaches its apex. My mouth drops open as I come undone for the last time. I’m trembling under him, and I know from Xav’s heavy breathing that he’s next in line.

“I fucking love you, Vee,” he repeats, staring me dead in the eyes. Like he knows what I’m about to do.

Like he knows I have to leave him.

Spasms overtake him, and his jaw flexes as he spills deep inside me without a condom. I witness his climax, finding so much beauty and perfection in the way he comes apart.