Page 119 of Dear Love, I Hate You (Easton High)

“Admit what?” I put on the performance of my life.

If I don’t admit it, he can’t rip my heart to shreds. If I don’t admit it, I can hold on to Love a little longer. Irritated by my stubbornness, he grits his teeth together. It isn’t long before he realizes he needs to find something I can’t argue with.

And that’s exactly what he does.

Without a warning, Xavier yanks my left sleeve down my shoulder, denuding my skin and leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake. That’s how I know I’m screwed.

He exposed me—literally.

More exactly my caterpillar tattoo.

If that’s not a dead giveaway, I don’t know what is. I told Xav about the ink on my left shoulder once, a long time ago. I was sure he’d have forgotten, but here we are. In Finn’s garage, surrounded by Lamborghinis and custom Teslas, staring each other dead in the eyes.

Xavier’s mouth drops at the caterpillar under my collarbone. The guy talks a good game, but the look on his face suggests he wasn’t one hundred percent sure until now.

“Admit it,” Xav repeats once he’s regained his composure.

I chew down on my bottom lip.

“L, I know it’s you. Just say it.” He pauses. “Please.”

He’s begging now. Backed into a corner, I lower my gaze to my feet, surrendering with a croaky, barely audible,

“It’s me.”

Xavier stumbles back a step.

He doesn’t react for several seconds.

“But… You… I…” He blathers, trying to settle on an emotion. Finally, he comes to a decision. “This whole fucking time?” He snarls. “You just let me ramble on about how I messed things up between us when you… you were sitting right next to me?”

Anger it is.

I look up at him, my brain looping images of him eating Lacey’s face off. Taking Brie from behind while I was pouring my heart out to him in confessions, dumb enough to let him in.

Xav drives a restless hand through his hair and barks out an angry “Jesus, I can’t believe this shit!”

I can’t believe I still want you.

“Oh, I’m sorry, was that before or after you shoved your tongue down Lacey’s throat?” I fire back.

My comment blows him out of the water. He clenches his jaw, confronted with the facts.

“I knew you blocked my number,” he surprises me by saying.

How the hell did he find out?

“I never meant to kiss her. You’d know that if you’d read just one of my billion fucking texts!”

“Right.” I snort. “So, you accidentally tripped and landed on her mouth. Got it.”

Why am I even bothering?

We were a mistake. A. Rookie. Fucking. Mistake. All that’s left for me to do is find Ashley, get the hell out of this house, and forget about this pen pal disaster once and for all. I reach for the knob, opening the door an inch, but Xav smacks his palm against the wood, slamming it closed.

“Get out of my way, Xavier,” I warn.

“No,” he says bluntly.