Page 4 of Dean (Unexpected #9)

CHAPTER FOUR

DEAN

Seems I can’t quite stop looking at him, despite telling myself to quit it.

Even as I think it, I peer over at him again while working on a car. I’m trying to be discreet, but I’m sure I’m fucking up. He’s like some kind of enigma. All those slim lines on his body, the long hair, those pretty gray eyes.

I knock my head against the hood of the Porsche and rub at my pounding head.

Never looked at someone so much in my entire life. Not even Elaine.

Fuck.

That thought eats at me slightly. I feel guilty for even thinking it. I loved her. In a way, I still do. She’s a part of me. She gave me Ben.

And then she left us.

She fucking left.

The anger I felt when I buried her…it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t want this to happen, but still, the hole she left when she died was ma ssive.

I thought I’d never find another, and yet… I peer back over at Avery, who is leaning against his desk, his head thrown back in a laugh as he talks to Ben. No idea who is manning the phones, but it seems we’re running just fine despite his absence.

Avery’s shirt lifts a little more, and I drop my wrench. It falls to the ground in a clatter, and Avery’s eyes slide to mine.

He totally catches me watching him.

Again.

Fucking hell.

His lips turn up in some kind of sexy smirk, and I sigh, bending down to retrieve the wrench.

When I stand up, he’s closer, his stomach on display, that cute little belly button winking at me. He should totally get that pierced.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, just…didn’t sleep well last night.” That’s a lie. I slept well. And I dreamed of Elaine and Avery. The two of them meeting, her wrapping him in a hug and whispering something in his ear.

I don’t know what the fuck that was about.

But I remember it. At the same time, I also remember having a dream last week that my skin was filled with blisters and they turned into pasta noodles. Dreams are weird as fuck. Probably doesn’t mean anything.

But it still sits with me. The dream.

Elaine.

It’s been so long since I’ve been with someone. So fucking long. My entire life has been devoted to Ben, to raising him. I only recently started to date and those have all been…lacking.

“Shoot. Anything I can do to help?” he asks, and I run a hand over my face.

He could stop being so damn cute. He should just stop being so damn…alluring.

“No. I’m good. Thanks though.”

He looks unsure but still walks away, and my eyes may land on his ass while he goes.

A long-suffering sigh leaves my mouth as I stare back at the engine. He’s far too young for me. If anything, that should stop me .

Yes, it will. I’ll stop. I’m not going to look at him again. I’m going to ignore his existence. He’s a man for fuck’s sake. I’m not into men.

But that hair. Those eyes.

I shake my head and get back to work. If I don’t, I’ll fall behind and then I’ll have some angry customers to deal with.

But then my gaze sneaks back to him as he reaches for something on a high shelf. His shirt rides up, and I stare at his hips, his cute little stomach.

I scrub my eyes. I should probably just take them out at this point. This is getting ridiculous. Although, I guess I’ve always looked at him a little too long. That first day when he showed up to interview, his cheeks pink and his lips slightly wet, I remember feeling a little zing in my groin.

I thought it was penile cancer.

Turns out, it’s just him.

I adjust myself and run a hand through my hair as Avery turns around and catches me staring again. He arches an eyebrow at me, and I shift on my feet, averting my gaze.

Fuck, this is going to be bad. He’s in my space now. Living with me. Eating with me.

I may need to resort to wearing sunglasses indoors.

“You sure you’re all right?” Avery asks me as he passes by, brushing against my chest as he goes.

“Yep,” I murmur. “Just fucking dandy.”

I’m not though. Not fucking dandy at all. My dick gives an imperceptible twitch and I stare down at it.

“Get it together,” I whisper.

I don’t want my dick ruining things. I don’t want to drive him away. I’m older, and a complete fiend apparently. I don’t want to scare him away.

I don’t want him to leave because of me.