Page 16 of Dean (Unexpected #9)

Dean looks unsure and this, right here, is what almost makes me break down. I know I haven’t been an angel. I know I’ve made choices in life that will come back to bite me in the ass, but at the same time, the fact his faith in me has wavered is making me physically ill. What if he thinks that I’ve been stealing from the company, too? What if he fires me?

I swipe at my eyes and sniffle. “It makes me sad you don’t believe me. Fuck, this is so embarrassing…I’m gonna…” I pull away from him entirely and make my way toward my room.

Dean follows, his footsteps resonating behind me.

“Avery…”

I peer over at him and he looks upset.

“You’re crying.”

“I’m not. I am just…leaking a little.”

But he knows better because my cheeks are wet as I grab my keys from my bed side table and head toward the front door. As I go, Dean follows, his hands reaching out for me, but I need some space.

I need a minute. I need to give him a minute.

So, I step out the door and into the cool evening air, shivering slightly.

“You don’t need to leave. We could talk about it some more,” he murmurs, but it’s too late. My mind is made up.

“I know. I just need some space. Let me go.”

“Will you come back?” he asks, looking slightly broken.

I nod and lean forward, brushing a kiss against his cheek. “Yeah, I’ll be back. I just need a minute to think and I can’t do that when you’re right here.”

My fingers fumble with my car keys, peering over my shoulder to see that Dean is standing out on the porch, watching me go. What if when I’m gone, he goes through everything I’ve ever touched to make sure things aren’t missing, that I haven’t taken something from him as well ?

Don’t think that. He’s given you no indication he’d do that.

I swipe at my eyes. Fuck. I messed up. I shouldn’t have ever told him what I used to do. I should have lied.

This is all so messed up. And when I can still feel him inside of me too. It almost makes all of it more painful.

I slip into the car and turn the ignition on, then pull my phone out and scroll, wondering who I can call. My eyes land on Beau’s name and I tap on it. I know I could have messaged Kit, but I just spent all day with him and would rather have an unbiased opinion on my current situation. Kit seems unwavering in his support of me. He’d probably offer to murder Dean and that’s not what I want.

I just want good advice and that one night, Beau had some great advice for me. Maybe he has something for me now.

I don’t know, I really don’t, but I do know I need to chat with someone.

And I need to know what to say to Dean when we finally talk again.

“Oh, it sounds like he’s sad,” Beau says, his blond head touching the floor. He’s flopped off the side of the couch, his hair brushing the hardwood as he looks at me upside down. “I mean, I know he hurt you, but you hurt him back by leaving.”

“I think I did too.”

“But you were vulnerable. You told him the truth and instead of supporting you blindly, he got…upset.” Beau sits up and wobbles slightly. “Oh my. I shouldn’t have done that. I feel lightheaded. Might pass out now.”

“Here, have some water. Please, don’t pass out.”

“Oh yes. Water. Well…thank you.” He gulps it, and I sigh, leaning back in my chair and staring at the wall. I’m currently at the small apartment he shares with a few other roommates. He just got back from work and no one else is here, so I managed to catch him at the perfect time. When he saw my sad eyes and wet cheeks, he pulled me into his place and plied me with candy. I feel sick from it, actually .

“Maybe I should go home so Dean and I can talk. I don’t want him sad. I don’t want to be sad,” I murmur.

“Yes, or you could make him suffer and make him wait. I do like a good suffer.”

“I don’t want him to suffer. He’s a sensitive soul. He feels deeply. He lost his wife.”

“Oh yes, don’t do that then,” Beau replies and then pushes his bottom lip out. “I’m probably the worst person to talk to about this. I waffle more than an American breakfast.”

I let out an unexpected snort. “Yeah, you do. You were just calling him a betraying piece of shit.”

“I mean, those are harsh words and I know he’s not. Not really. He’s just a baby bi who’s confused. I bet he doesn’t know what to do with you.”

“Yeah, maybe. I dunno. I do know he’s very confused. Me being around all the time isn’t helping. And now Nick is coming to his place and setting shit on fire. I think I underestimated my ex-roommate.”

“Yeah, that’s fucked up. But he did that because Dean was brave and went to confront him. Probably roughed him up like a real man. So romantic.”

“Yeah, I know, but he shouldn’t have done that. He should let me handle my own problems…”

“He doesn’t want you to have to handle them.”

“I’m going to fuck this up. I’m going to hurt him.”

“Then hurry home and work it out with him.”

My head falls into my palms and I sniffle loudly. “I should. But part of me thinks I should just leave, even though he said he didn’t want me to go.”

“Oh, babe,” Beau replies, and then scoots over next to me, putting his head on my knee. “You should go home and give him a good snuggle and talk about it. Your parents are shitheads and your ex-roommate is poo. I think it will all work out.”

“He may think all of this isn’t worth it though. He’s probably never had to deal with any of this shit before. His son is an angel. I bet Elaine was too.” I think about Cash and Ford and internally amend my comment .

Maybe Ben isn’t as innocent as everyone thinks.

Wait, I know he’s not.

My phone lights up suddenly and I look down at it, seeing a message from Dean. Just seeing his name makes my heart race. Oh fuck, I’m never going to get over him.

Never ever. I’m going to pine until kingdom come. Until I die from lust.

I pull my lips between my teeth and breathe deeply. “He just texted.”

“Open it and respond.”

Beau makes a grab for my phone, but I’m too quick. I pull the message up, and it’s asking where I am and if I’m safe. It only makes my eyes water more. He cares even after all of that. After my admission.

He’s too good for me.

Always too good for me.

Beau continues to sit perched near me, his chin on my thigh until I finally decide to head back home. I want to go back to Dean, to hold him, to suck his dick and kiss him.

I want to do all the things.

Beau looks pleased with my decision to put Dean out of his misery and ushers me to the door, patting me on the shoulder. “I’m so glad you chose me to come to. You can stop by anytime, you know? I’m here to listen and not come up with any solutions to anything.”

I let out a small laugh. “Yeah, you were shit at helping me decide what to do, but it was nice to just have someplace to go.”

“Anytime. Really. I’m so glad we met. I don’t have many gay friends, but I want to, you know? We’re all going through something similar.”

“Yeah, we are. Although you’re not into an older straight man who is having a sexual awakening…”

He sighs, his eyes twinkling. “Yes, but maybe one day I’ll be the reason a man decides another man is for him.”

“We can only hope.”

“And we can only dream.”

He winks at me, and then I step outside of his small apartment, moving toward my car to head home. As I do, I see someone in a hoodie waiting in the shadows. It’s ominous and scary, and the thought that it could be Nick makes me pick up my pace. Fuck, is he stalking me now?

What a fucking night.

Without another thought, I get in my car and hit the lock button without waiting to see who it is lurking about. If it was Nick, he wasn’t fast enough. He didn’t get to me. Oh, thank fuck.

To think he could be watching me from the shadows makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe he’s more serious about this than I thought.

Or maybe it was just some random person waiting outside.

I don’t know. All I do know is that I fucked up. I’ve made some questionable decisions in my life. It might have been for the right reasons, but it was still wrong.

I send a text to Beau to warn him about this creeper outside his apartment complex before pulling out of the parking lot and heading back to Dean’s house. I want to see him. I miss him already.

Sweet Dean, who has messaged me twice more, but to whom I haven’t replied yet.

I’ll just lay it all out when I get home. We can talk face-to-face when I arrive. And when we’re done talking, I can make a decision about whether I’m going to stay or leave.

I really don’t want to fucking leave. But I also have his best interests at heart. I am making his life so messy, so full of drama. He doesn’t want that. He can’t possibly want that.

By the time I arrive back home, I’m a mess. It doesn’t help that Dean is waiting outside, a cigarette in his hand, smoke billowing up around him. Fuck, he looks sexy like this. It’s criminal, really. He should not be allowed to own cigarettes or smoke them. It’s bad for my health.

“Hey,” he says, blowing out smoke and then stubbing his cigarette out as I come to a stop before him. “Where did you go?”

“To Beau’s.”

“That guy who brought you home the other night?”

“Well, yes. Not the one who walked me up, but the one who was passed out in the car. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.” Suddenly, I’m fraught with nerves. I can’t do this. “I’m going to…” I point inside the house, and Dean steps out of the way, letting me push past him. He smells like cigarettes, like worry and concern, but I ignore it. I’m worried this is him telling me I should leave.

Moving toward the bedroom, I step toward the closet, pulling out the box my stuff had been haphazardly thrown into by my roommates. I really should invest in some luggage , I think as I stare down at it. I should pack. Just in case. Just in case I need to make a quick escape.

A form appears in my doorway and I peer over, seeing Dean standing there, his arms above his head, his shirt riding up slightly. It’s too much.

“You really need to stop standing like that,” I murmur.

He ignores me, continuing to look like a doorjamb god. “What’s the box for, Avery?”

His voice is dark and sexy and it’s making me hard despite still being hurt and angry. Damn dick. Get with the program, dude.

“I was going to pack.”

Dean growls slightly, his arms flexing as he grabs the door frame tighter.

“You’re going to fucking leave me?”

“I wanted to have a backup plan.”

“And your backup plan is leaving?”

I meet his stare and I can see the anger rolling across his face. His jaw is ticking, his eye twitching.

“I don’t want you uncomfortable living with a thief and a troublemaker.”

“I shouldn’t have said that and you’re not a troublemaker,” he murmurs.

“I just want you to be happy.”

He grinds his teeth. “I am happy.”

“Are you really?” I move to grab a hanger to put a dress into the box, but Dean is beside me, taking it from me softly and hanging it back up.

“Don’t fucking leave,” he whispers, his voice breaking slightly. “I want you to stay.”

“I’m worried you don’t trust me. ”

“I do. I trust who you’ve become. I don’t blame you for your parents, for what you had to do. I was just surprised at the admission. I’m sorry you felt like you had to leave.”

I meet his stare and move to grab the hanger once more, but he stops me, pushing me up against the wall, his hips meeting mine, pinning me in place.

He can feel how hard I am. He knows how much I want this. I want to stay—with him.

His hands drag up my arms, pulling them above my head, his nose running up my neck until his lips are right above mine.

“I’m sorry, Avery. Forgive me. I want you to stay.”

My tongue peeks out and I inhale shakily.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fucking sure,” he says, his lips moving across mine. I shiver as our mouths meet and his tongue pushes inside of me. He groans, his fingers linking with mine, still holding me in place, not letting me move. Not that I want to. I want to stay.

I don’t want to leave. I really don’t.

Dean shifts slightly, his mouth slanting over mine as he licks his way into me. His thigh pushes between my legs, and I grind up against it, feeling all the pent-up need make its way to the surface. It’s bubbling over, a frothing, feral mess.

But before I can come, Dean pulls away roughly, his pupils dilated, his chest heaving.

“Fuck. I’m going to lose control. Do you want me to keep going?”

I give him a shaky nod and then a quiet “please,” to which he responds almost immediately. Without warning, I’m spun around, my front up against the wall, his hands dragging up my skirt, pushing it up around my waist. His fingers tug on the lace of my panties, pulling them down until they’re around my thighs.

I feel his fingers slide up my crack and I groan.

“Dean.”

He hums lowly as his fingers fumble with the zipper of his pants, and a second later, I feel his thick cock slide up my ass crack.

“Oh god. ”

“Fuck, Avery. You’re so fucking hot. I didn’t…I thought I’d never get to do this again.”

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

His cock drags up my crack again, and I whine, wanting him to pin me to the wall and fuck me.

He must have the same thought because he kisses his way up my neck before asking, “Where’s the lube?”

“Under my bed.”

He lets out a small chuckle and I turn my head to watch him bend over, his ass crack showing as he does. Fuck. He’s hot. I can’t believe this is happening.

It’s going to happen.

I thought I was going to lose him, and here I am instead.

Waiting to be fucked.

He turns and catches me watching, his dick hard and pointing right at me.

“You want this?”

“I fucking want it,” I moan and then tilt my hips out a little more, offering my ass up. Wild that I was going to leave minutes ago and now I’m staying to get railed.

It seems he really doesn’t care much about my past illegal activities.

I was wrong to leave. He’s in this. He’s in it for me.

The flick of the cap has me biting my bottom lip as he pushes two fingers against my hole. I feel the slick of his fingertips, the way he strokes my hole, wetting it for entrance. One finger pushes inside and my hands curl against the wall as he breaches my hole.

“So tight,” he says, sliding knuckle deep.

“Yes. More. Please, more.”

He twists his hand slightly, and I gasp when he hits my prostate.

“You like that?”

“Yes. Fuck yes.”

He massages it until my legs are shaking, my hips thrusting back, inviting him to take more. To take all of me. And he gives it to me, two fingers entering me and scissoring me open, stretching me for the inevitable slide of his dick.

Dean’s other hand wraps around my hard cock, his teeth nibbling on my earlobe as he works me from both ends. I’m grasping at anything I can find, trying to keep myself upright. But it’s hard when it feels so good, when I know who’s doing this to me.

“Can you take three?”

“Yes. I can do anything. Give it to me. Please.”

More lube is pushed into me and then a third finger opens me up further. I’m nearly crying with the need to come, but I want to wait. I want him to be inside of me when I topple over that edge.

His hand pumps my cock, his fingers thrusting into me carefully before they suddenly stop.

I blink my eyes open and see Dean removing his clothes, kicking his pants off and tossing his shirt onto the ground.

I wet my lips, eager for what’s next, when he swoops me into his arms and carries me to his room. He sets me on the mattress, rucking up my skirt around my waist and tugging my panties all the way off.

“Fuck yes,” he murmurs as he takes the lube and applies it to his cock, stroking himself as he looks at me. “Show me those tits,” he murmurs, and I rip my shirt off, wanting to give him what he wants.

“Fuck yes,” he repeats as he crawls up between my legs. My ankles link behind his back as his cock hits my crack and drags up my taint. His lips pull on my nipple, and I arch up, thrusting my hips slightly to get him inside of me. But he makes me wait, torturing me until I’m mewling and begging.

It’s only then that he stares down at me, placing his dick right at my entrance and pushing inside. I’m wet and open, swallowing him slowly as he slides forward. His breath comes out trembling and shaky, and I’m holding on for dear life. This is so much better than just the tip. So much better.

“You feel so fucking good,” he groans as he sinks balls-deep into me.

“Yes. Yes, so good.”

The stretch is delicious, the way I feel split open. But then again, I knew I would as soon as I saw his cock. It’s huge, just like the rest of him. His thick arms bracket my body, making me feel consumed and safe at the same time. His lips meet mine for a filthy yet tender kiss as his hips arch backward and then slowly slide back in. We moan into each other’s mouths as he does it once more, almost relishing the feel of my rim hugging his dick.

He’s in no rush either. He’s savoring it. Savoring me.

And I let him. I’ve never felt this way during sex. It’s always been rushed and frantic. Not that I don’t like that. But I like this more. It seems more romantic. Like he’s cherishing this time with me.

The fucking is slow, a meeting of skin and breath as he moves in and out of me, drawing out my orgasm until I’m panting with the need for release.

“You want more?” he asks, and I nod, not sure how he can give me more when this is absolutely perfect. But he somehow manages despite never having done this before. His elbows lock and my legs move over his shoulders as he pulls out of me entirely and rams back in. A surprised gasp leaves me at the way this feels, the intensity of it, the angle. I lock my ankles behind his neck to keep myself there as he pistons his cock in and out of me. I’m mewling, crying out each time his dick hits my prostate, my cock leaking profusely as I take his dick over and over. Dean’s sweating, his face red, the tendons in his neck bulging. I know he’s close, can feel the way he’s shaking above me.

I am too. My hand reaches down, and I grab onto my cock, stroking it quickly, feeling my release barrel up through me. It hits me like a tidal wave, my back arching up, my cock twitching as I explode. My rim tightens around Dean, and he lets out a low grunt as his movements start to stagger. And then I feel it, his release pulsing inside of me, marking me.

He continues to draw it out, as if not wanting it to stop before lowering my legs, collapsing on top of me, and kissing me softly.

“Fucking good, yeah?” he asks, and I nod, letting him continue to kiss me until his cock softens and slips from me. I can feel his cum dripping from my hole and I can’t help but reach down and touch it, making sure this isn’t all a dream.

It’s not. Dean rolls onto his side and pulls me into him, holding me tightly.

“Was it good?”

“It was fan-fucking-tastic. I want to do that again. And again.”

“As long as you don’t go. As long as you don’t leave me. ”

I sigh and snuggle up to him. “I won’t. I’m sorry. I wanted to give you the choice to evict me and I went about it badly.”

“It’s okay. I should have stopped you from leaving. Tied you up and forced your hand.”

I let out a small laugh. “Yeah, well, we can move past it. Is that okay? Can we forget this night ever happened? Well, except the sex. I don’t want to forget that.”

“Yeah, Avery. We can.”

That’s all I need to hear. That’s all I fucking need.