Page 34

CHAPTER 34

AURIA

D espite the late afternoon sun reflecting off the rings in the sky, there was a cool breeze battling with the heat. I welcomed it as the wind rustled the leaves high above. The woods called to me. Each time my mind wandered, I wanted to go here. Perhaps it was the deprivation from a lifetime in Amosite with no forest to traipse through, but the various oaks and pines settled me, bathing my body in their endless shade.

Being enclosed in walls most of my life, the open expanse of the desert or meadows made me feel too vulnerable, exposed. Whereas the trees, huddled mere feet apart, gave me a wide, yet comfortable space, compared to the stone I knew so well.

I reveled in the last few days of freedom I had with no guard trailing me everywhere I went. Though helpful in some instances, they made being wholly myself difficult at times. Their injuries were bittersweet, along with the conversation I’d walked out on in the saloon.

Siara had insinuated that my father was the reason for people’s suffering, and while I wasn’t blind to his treatment of the citizens in Silicate now that I’d witnessed it firsthand—though my experience was brief—I got the feeling she was hinting at a much bigger picture, and yet again, information was withheld from me.

Was it me?

Did I seem that naive to give the impression that I couldn’t handle the world for what it was—cruelties and all?

“Trouble in town not enough for you?” a deep voice spoke up, pulling me from the alcohol-induced spiral I was headed toward.

I set a hand on the trunk of a tree, glancing over my shoulder to find Bowen standing a few trees back. “I was simply enjoying the silence of the forest.” I faced forward again, stepping over a root as I continued walking. “And you are currently interrupting it.”

By the crunch of leaves, I could tell he was following me. “Ah, Princess, with that head of yours, I doubt it’s ever truly silent.”

I rolled my eyes, despite him being unable to see it. “Do tell. What do you suppose I’d be thinking about to make my mind so loud?”

He hummed as he grew closer to my back, and still, I continued walking. “I could guess a few things.”

“Go on.”

Without pause, he listed, “The ring that will one day feel too heavy on your finger. Why this land is so vastly different from your own. How you finally don’t have a guard trailing you like a lost puppy. But on top of all that”—he exhaled a breath, close enough now that it raised the hairs on the back of my neck—“what most stands out in that pretty head of yours is the way you feel when you’re around me.”

My cheeks heated, and I was glad he stood behind me so he couldn’t see what he really did to me. I scoffed in an attempt to act as if his words hadn’t affected me. “I feel nothing around you.”

I could practically sense his smirk. “The princess is a liar.”

I whirled, finding him all too close as he nearly rammed into my chest. “I am not a princess, and I feel nothing , especially around you.”

His voice lowered. “Besides the fear?”

My eyes narrowed. “Why are you out here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

I let out a frustrated groan, turning back around to take another step.

“Tell me something honest,” he went on.

I tried to focus on the tiny bits of green grass reaching up through the pine needles and leaves covering the ground, searching for sunlight as they brushed along the sides of my boots. His question made me want to laugh. Out of everyone here, I was the most honest of all of them, and yet, he wanted veracity from me?

“Honest.” The word tasted bitter on my tongue. “That’s so funny, considering no one tells me shit, including you.”

“I’ve never lied to you.”

My eyes turned to slits at his statement, but I couldn’t deny that I believed him. I might be foolish, na?ve, but nothing he’d ever said to me before felt like a lie. Not like the spun truths my father presented me with.

With a sigh, I admitted, “I’m not upset that the bridge collapsed.”

When he didn’t respond, I turned around, finding him still standing where I’d left him. His brow was cocked, his gaze curious. “Really?”

I picked at a piece of bark on the tree to my right, studying the rough, brown piece as if it was the most fascinating thing on this planet. “I mean, of course I’m upset about it. I was meant to be back in Amosite before…” I shook my head. My father would be irate. “It’s just nice to be somewhere other than the castle for a change.”

“I know. You don’t get out much.”

I moved my attention to him. He remembered me saying that so long ago?

“I’m the daughter of a king,” I explained. “I can’t exactly just stroll around wherever I’d like.”

“Why not?”

My brows pulled together, his question taking me back. Was the reason not clear already? “What if I was injured? Or worse?”

He held a hand out, gesturing to the forest surrounding us. “You’re walking around right now, aren’t you? No guard, no order. Just you, on your own free will. Slightly buzzed, too, if I’m guessing correctly.”

He was idiotic. “Well, as you can see from the market incident, my free will is not always the best. It sometimes leads me to being deceived.” Yet the last part was not in reference to the market. It was a jab at him. I shook my head and continued, “I shouldn’t have said anything about the man stealing.”

“So, what? You’d rather lie down and let him?” he asked, as if he wasn’t the one to step in when I had almost been pulverized. Well, at least that’s what I assumed would have happened if Bowen hadn’t shown up.

“I’m the king’s?—”

He stepped forward, interrupting me. “I don’t give a fuck about your king.”

The anger in his tone shocked me, leaving me standing there with no response. In seconds, he was in front of me. “You want to know something, Auria? Just ask.”

My mouth dropped open. Was he serious ? “You’re acting like you’d just simply answer my questions now.”

He held his hands out. “Ask away.”

“How do I know you won’t twist some wicked answer for your own benefit?”

“You truly think I’m so cruel,” he surmised.

“Fine!” I huffed air out of my nose. “What clouds your mind, then?”

He looked rather bored as he said, “Aside from knowing the nauseating feeling that overcomes you when you don’t use your powers?”

I nearly froze in place. “How do you know about that?”

“We both have powers, don’t we? Using them can become somewhat of an addiction, and your father has you riding that high so thoroughly that your body loathes being cut off from it.”

My head shook of its own accord. “My magic comes from me. I control it.”

He chuckled, the sound full of breath and pity. “You’ve never been taught how to control it—those urges that hit you when you haven’t fed it, I know all too well. Magic is alive, Auria, and sometimes it bites.”

Suddenly, the forgotten book and half-empty vial made sense. He knew my magic—my own self—better than I did. I felt like a fool. So my next question came calculated.

“Why did Siara say my father is the reason for a lot of people’s suffering?”

For a moment, he looked almost taken aback, like that was the last thing he expected me to ask. I wanted to say, Don’t worry, I have a list , but settled on taking it one question at a time.

“He’s the reason we have to stay in hiding,” he started.

I blinked, then shook my head as I tried to comprehend his answer. “Fae?”

Bowen nodded, crossing his arms. A topic he was defensive of, then.

“How? That’s not possible. My father doesn’t have that much power. Or any, for that matter.” My eyes trailed to the ground in thought.

“Anything is possible, Princess. You just have to open your eyes to it.”

“He’s just one man.”

“One man, with enough power to wipe out an entire civilization.”

My father was feared by fae because of his magic? “But fae are more powerful than humans.” I looked up at him. “Aren’t they?”

He leaned a bit closer, his eyes brighter than the sky itself. “Humans don’t have powers, Auria. So yes, that is correct.”

The entire world slammed into me at once, and I flung a hand out to the tree to steady myself. “What did you just say?”

“Lander was telling you the truth when he told you humans don’t have powers.”

“But I?—”

“ You are a unique case.”

Why? Why me? “Am I fae?”

“I’m not sure,” he admitted.

My voice rose as I said, “You’re not sure ?”

“You may be half, the lineage possibly going back centuries in your bloodline, but without knowledge of what your mother was, I couldn’t guess entirely.”

I swayed on my feet, the truth of his words making the alcohol sour in my stomach. I’d never suspected my mother was anything but human in the few years she’d been alive. “How can you be so certain?”

He grabbed my waist, steadying me. Whether it was the buzz or the truth making my head spin, I wanted him to keep his hold on me. Keep me grounded to this earth, in this moment, rather than letting me spiral out of control. “I can sense something is different about you,” he said softly.

“That’s why you hate me.”

His eyes flashed like pain physically hit him with my assumption. “I don’t hate you, Auria.”

“Then that’s why they hate me. Why every kingdom I’ve visited on this wretched journey has loathed me, made their hatred of me clear.”

His gaze darkened, his fingers straining not to grip my waist tighter. His arm flexed with the effort. “They will not harm you. I would never let that happen.”

My eyes, welling with tears I refused to let fall, found his, holding his stare. “You don’t understand. They already have. All of this, and I’m supposed to what? Go back to that suffocating castle and live out my days, as if my father is the saint he claims to be?”

“You don’t have to go back.”

I shoved his hand off me, reeling as I spun around and plunged my hands through my hair. “Don’t say that like it’s an option.”

“You have choices, Auria.”

I laughed, the sound anything but comforting as I turned on him. “Choices aren’t afforded to pawns like me, Bowen.”

“This isn’t his game to win.”

“So, what? Your plan is to what? Kill my father?” I hated the pain that laced itself with those words. How terrible would it be if my captor was gone? The man who was supposed to love me unconditionally, who instead held me locked in his idea of a suitable life. If he died, I’d be left with my stepmother, and she?—

He stepped into my space again, cutting off my thoughts before they went places they couldn’t come back from. “If that’s what you want, say the words. Say you want him dead, and I’ll drive the knife through his heart and set you free. You can fly, Auria. You just haven’t left the nest.”

“I’m out of his damn cage right now and look at me!”

He did. His eyes devoured me, taking in my body, every dip and divot, like a feast. “Freedom looks astonishing on you.”

And then it hit me.

I wasn’t the only prisoner here. He was hiding, too. He was fae. His prison looked a lot different than mine, but we were both held stagnant with no place to go. He couldn’t truly be himself, let his fae side out to play, unless he was sure no human was watching. And me? I couldn’t be me, period. There was no escaping this endless hell for me. But maybe for him, there could be.

And maybe…it wasn’t me who couldn’t handle the world.

Maybe the world couldn’t handle me.

“I have one more question,” I said, needing to move the topic off of me.

“Is that so?” he replied, sarcasm lacing his voice, like he knew damn well I had a hundred more.

“For now.” I dipped my chin before meeting his gaze. “Why were you in Torbernite the night of Exitium Lunae if you weren’t celebrating? You clearly have no ties with them.”

He inhaled, his shoulders rising with the act. “I was looking for something, and I figured infiltrating their castle on a night when everyone was distracted celebrating a mass slaughter was the best time.”

My brows rose at least six inches in the air. “I’m sorry, what? A mass slaughter? Lander told me it was a holiday to honor equality.”

He let out a chuckle, the sound holding no amusement. “Yeah. That’s what they tell themselves. Is it equality to hold a tradition where you party until the sun rises if you’re celebrating the day they tried to wipe out the entire fae population? Not to mention, they thought they were successful. Every year, we get to watch humans drink and dance and enjoy themselves over the murders of our innocent population.”

My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. “That can’t— But he said?—”

“He’s manipulating you.” His voice sounded strained as the veins in his hands blackened, the web of dark strings climbing up his neck.

“Lander is educating me,” I defended. “Something no one else has offered to me. How am I supposed to know who to believe?”

He stepped closer, bending forward so our noses were nearly touching. “Maybe the man who’s saved your life countless times now, and given you the option to get out of the situation that’s killing you.”

My breath stuck in my lungs. He was right. Bowen had shown no ill will toward me. He’d helped me, taken my people in, saved me from certain death, whereas Lander had been all too comfortable with the circumstances at hand, not thinking twice about bringing me back to my father.

I had to trust Bowen. He’d given me no reason not to.

With that thought in mind, I wanted to make the most out of my time left with him.

“I have one request before I leave.”

He waited, that raw hunger still shining bright in his eyes.

“Take me to see the bison.”