Page 35 of Deadly Storms (Sunrise Lake #3)

There would be no stopping Rainier once he made up his mind.

How many times had she screwed up his life?

So many times. She groaned and curled her palm around the familiar cherrywood handle of her pistol.

No matter how much work she put into standing on her own two feet, he thought of her as a child.

This was why. She fell apart and couldn’t pull herself back together no matter how hard she tried.

“I didn’t want Raine to call you. I told her I would. Please don’t blame her.”

“But you didn’t.”

When she needed him to hear her and believe her, he ignored her. “Rainier, please don’t come. Please let me go.”

His breath hissed out, a long slow exhale. She wiped at the tears on her face, but they kept falling. How could she save him, when she couldn’t save herself?

“Where are the dogs, Qadri ? I need to know where your dogs are.”

His voice, soft like velvet, penetrated the black fear.

“I’m so tired of fighting, Rainier. Of being alone. I really despise pity parties. And crying and feeling sorry for myself. I’m tired of being terrified every minute of the day.”

“Tell me where your dogs are, Shabina.”

She opened her mouth to answer him. A sob escaped. He had to have heard. She tried again. “Outside. In the garden. I put them outside.”

She heard the brakes on his vehicle shrieking, as if he had been going full speed and slammed them on at the last minute.

“Do you remember when we first talked, baby? I told you there would be times like this. They come, but they always go away. You hang on, ride it out. I’ll be there soon.”

“I’m tired, Rainier.” The moment the words came out of her mouth, she felt pathetic, but she always told him the truth.

She was tired of fighting against the inevitable.

Scorpion had left her alone for the last few years, but she knew he was out there, and he would come for her.

Rainier knew it too. She worried about everyone around her, fearing Scorpion would use them against her.

For one brief moment, the idea of simply surrendering to him entered her mind.

At the thought, her entire body shuddered, rebelling.

Bile rose. Her fingernails bit into her skin.

She couldn’t breathe with the roaring in her head.

No, she couldn’t face him ever again. It would be better to be dead.

Her hand tightened around the grip of her gun.

She just had to make the decision. She’d put the dogs out for a reason.

She wouldn’t end her life with them inside.

She just needed to get a clear head and think things through, but she was too terrified.

Too long without sleep. She wasn’t certain what the right decision was.

“Rainier.” She whispered his name. For him.

She had to make certain he was safe. If she was in the world, he never would be safe because, like now, he would come to her when she had a problem.

She would always have a problem. One didn’t get over her kind of trauma.

“You need to be safe. I have to make sure you’re safe. ”

“Do you have your gun with you, Qadri ?”

“Yes.” She could barely get the word out.

“Where is it?”

She choked back another sob. “I’ve got it in my hand.”

She heard dogs and then the murmur of another man’s voice. The engine of a plane roared to life. Her heart nearly exploded in her chest.

“I want you to put the gun down and push it away from you.”

That voice. Low. Firm. Absolute command. She always did what Rainier asked her to do, even when she didn’t like it. But this was for him. To keep him safe. To give him a life.

“You don’t understand. You’ll never have a life. Never. You’ll never be safe.” She tried to make him understand. He had to understand.

“You are my life, Shabina. I need you to do what I tell you.”

She shook her head. “I can’t go back to my parents.

You don’t know what they’re like, what I’ve done to them.

They used to be so happy. All my mother does is cry when she looks at me, and my father consoles her.

I can’t breathe there. They watch me every minute of the day.

Sometimes I think they look for an excuse to put me in a hospital. ”

She wiped at her tear-wet face, the barrel of the pistol nearly hitting her cheek.

“You don’t have to go back to Houston.”

Rainier. So firm. But he didn’t understand. How could he? He was always strong. He could face anything. She’d seen him. He was like an avenging dark angel rising up in the worst of the sandstorms to take her away from Scorpion when no one could ever move in a sandstorm.

“I can’t be alone anymore, Rainier. That sounds so pitiful, I’m embarrassed.

I have good friends. I do. They all rallied around me, gave up work to be with me.

They did. They were so wonderful. But I always feel apart from them, no matter how hard they try to bridge that gap between us.

I know it isn’t their fault, it’s mine.”

She curled into herself and let herself cry. She couldn’t have stopped if she tried.

Rainier was silent for a moment, and then his voice turned commanding. It was the one she recognized when he was finished arguing and he expected everyone just to do what he said.

“Shabina, I’m coming to you now. I’m close, so it won’t take long. I need to know you’ve put the gun on the floor and pushed it away from you. Do it now and confirm to me that you’ve done what I’ve asked you to do.”

She heard another man’s voice shouting. She could have sworn there was more than one man’s voice in the background. It would be like Rainier to bring a full security crew even when she’d told him repeatedly she didn’t want bodyguards. Only him. She only wanted him.

Rainier called back, and this time his answer was distinct as he replied to whoever had spoken. “Give me a minute. Shabina, we’re going to take off. I need to know you’ve put the gun on the floor, and you’re just going to sit there and wait for me. We’ll talk when I get there.”

“How can I stop you?” she whispered. “How can I save you if you don’t let me?” He just wouldn’t listen, and she was so tired and confused. Her brain didn’t seem to function.

“ Qadri , you saved me a long time ago. Confirm that you put the gun down.”

She complied with his demand because she didn’t know what else to do. There was no stopping him. “It’s on the floor.”

There were the briefest moments of silence and then he spoke again. “I’ll be out of communication for just under half an hour. When I get there, don’t pick that gun back up and shoot me.”

Ordinarily, she would have tried to joke with him, but she didn’t have it in her.

She hugged her legs tightly, rested her cheek on her knees and cried.

She should have known she couldn’t stop Rainier.

He was a force every bit as powerful as the worst of the sandstorms in the desert.

What had he meant by she’d already saved him? He didn’t say things he didn’t mean.

Her head was pounding, the ache vicious.

She couldn’t think clearly or sort through her thoughts.

There was so much pressure in her chest that it felt as if her heart were shattering.

It couldn’t be because the moment she realized she couldn’t keep Rainier away, it occurred to her that he might be walking into a trap where she was the bait, and her heart had broken into a million little pieces right then.

She’d destroyed so many lives. Her parents. The unity of her family. There had been a time when they’d all been happy. She hadn’t known another way of life except boarding schools and summer camps, traveling occasionally with her parents when her father was working outside the country.

Never once did she think her parents were worried while she was with Salman Ahmad and his tribe.

When a video was made demanding ransom, she knew she looked healthy.

She honestly hadn’t thought they would be concerned about her.

It had been drilled into her that kidnappings were simply a business and not to fight it. She hadn’t.

When she was away at boarding school, they didn’t seem particularly worried about her well-being.

But she’d been a young teen then, not viewing the kidnapping from her parents’ perspective.

Life with the tribe had been an adventure.

She’d seen the others ransomed successfully and wasn’t in the least worried her turn wouldn’t come.

Shabina wiped unsuccessfully at the tears.

She never cried like this, but she couldn’t stop no matter how many times she told herself to get control.

She had lived in the desert with Scorpion, his cabinet and his mercenaries for just over six months.

In that time, she’d experienced torture and rape, she’d witnessed the murders of innocent men, women and children.

She hadn’t cried on the outside. She hadn’t given Scorpion or his men the satisfaction.

On the inside, she’d screamed until her lungs and throat were raw, but she refused to give into tears.

She thought she was frozen inside, unable to cry real tears. She was wrong. She must have stored up years of tears because they were all being shed and there didn’t seem to be a thing she could do about it.

There was no sound. No alert from the dogs outside the house.

Not a single alarm went off outside, not on the fence, the gate, in the gardens, or on her doors or windows, but she knew the house had been penetrated.

Her head went up alertly. She wasn’t alone.

She shoved her fist into her mouth to keep from making any noise.

The intruder was in the room with her. A shadow only.

She heard a pack fall to the floor across the room from her and then metal clacked together as another, very heavy pack that might have had weapons in it was dropped to the floor.

“Just me, Qadri . Don’t panic. I’m coming to you. Keep your gun on the floor.”