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Chapter Thirty-Eight

Ophelia

I seal my fate with a sentence. It should feel like a cell door slamming behind me, but it doesn’t. I watch Sebastian’s face, committing the moment to memory forever. His good eye widens, a blue pool of pure astonishment, and his mouth opens.

He thought he was going to die.

He’s not supposed to touch me, but he strokes my cheek anyway, fingers trembling. “Pet. Are you—”

“Sebastian.” Sebastian snatches his hand back at Kendrick’s sharp word. “Make your promise to your Ward.”

There’s a distinct undertone of don’t screw this up to the words, and it almost makes me smile.

“Yes. Of course. Sorry. Ophelia, I grant you my protection. You are mine, and mine alone, forevermore. I have selected this mark to grace your skin as a symbol of my ownership.”

Ownership .

I keep my eyes locked on Sebastian as I let myself feel the full weight of the word. I chose this. He gave me the opportunity for freedom, but I turned it down. And it won’t be ownership in name only; he’s made that perfectly clear. I belong to him, and he’ll take full advantage.

And you’ll love it. Sometimes, anyway.

I chose this. I can hardly imagine my father’s horror. The disgust he’ll feel when he hears about it from his spies. But with the thought comes a single, beautiful realization.

I don’t fucking care.

He can think what he likes about me. He never loved the person I really am. I hope he gets to hear every detail of this moment and it chokes him. From now on, there’s only one man’s opinion I care about.

A guy who must be the tattoo artist, given his ink, appears with a trolley. The tattoo. I’d forgotten all about it. What will it be? I don’t get a say. It’s Sebastian’s choice. It hits me all at once—this is the first of many decisions that are his to make.

My breathing picks up, and Sebastian must sense it because, under Kendrick’s disapproving glare, he ducks his head to whisper, “Don’t worry. I chose something beautiful. You’ll love it, trust me.”

Trust him. I do.

The tattoo artist sets himself up behind me and starts his design on my right shoulder. I yelp, not braced for the pain, and Sebastian takes my hands in his. “Don’t be a baby. You’re tougher than that.”

I straighten my spine. I might be naked and kneeling, but I don’t have to appear weak. Not because I’m a Calder—I’m done with being tough to protect my family image—but for myself. I’ve chosen to be here, and if I want any respect in this place, I’m going to have to earn it .

The pain consumes me for a while, and I let it. I’ve done enough thinking in the last few hours to last me a lifetime. After an indeterminate amount of time, the tattoo machine stops. “That’s most of it. I’ll get her back in for another sitting to finish off the finer details.”

“Thank you.”

He addressed Sebastian, not me. Because he’s my master and I’m his property. That’s going to take a lot of getting used to.

The tattoo artist leaves, and Kendrick steps forward. I know what comes next, and my stomach turns over. This is going to be bad. I know it.

“Ophelia must complete one final act to prove her loyalty. You are her Patron and her master. Command her, a true test. Prove to your Brothers how devoted your Ward is. Fail to test her, and I’ll instruct her myself.”

Crap. So he has to be cruel. How cruel? Eve had to kiss Kendrick’s feet. Will Sebastian think of something worse?

I catch his eye, and he smiles. It’s not his sweet smile, but the one that lights me up from the inside out. The dangerous smile. The smile that says I’m not going to like what comes next but he will.

Oh God.

He dips his hand into his suit pocket, and as soon as I see what he pulls out, I know. I shake my head at him, but his smile turns into a vicious grin as he flings the small rubber bone across the stage, right to the goddamn curtains. “Fetch, pet. With your mouth. And no standing.”

Maybe I should have let him die after all.

I stare across the stage, which feels a million miles long. Eve did it, I remind myself. She crawled across this very stage and survived. I can too .

The wooden stage is rough against my knees as I crawl toward the curtains. Blood rushes in my ears as I close the distance, and I’m hyper aware of the way my breasts move, but I’m doing it. It’s not going to kill me. You can’t actually die of embarrassment, though it feels like I might.

An eternity later, I reach the bone. Would he have thought to wash it? Most men, definitely not, but Sebastian? Probably. I grip it in my teeth, feeling stupider than I’ve ever felt when it lets out a goddamn squeak, and make the long journey back to Sebastian’s feet. I glare up at him as he takes the bone from my lips and pats my head. “There’s a good girl.”

He’s radiant, joy and amusement rolling off him in waves, and it manages to infect me despite the indignity of what he just made me do. I smile up at him. My master. My owner. I keep tripping over the words in my head, trying to make them apply to me. It still doesn’t feel real.

The relief in Kendrick’s voice is unmistakable. “Well done, Ophelia.” He disappears, returning with a silky blue robe, which he hands to Sebastian.

Sebastian holds out his hand, and I get to my feet. The robe is covered in tiny, embroidered flowers, and the watery silk caresses my skin as he wraps it around me. He bends his head. “This feels like a waste. I’ve got half a mind to keep you naked up here a while longer. Maybe make you do some star jumps.”

My face burns at his words, but a telltale curl of desire lodges in my stomach. I’m as twisted as he is, and the quirk of his eyebrow tells me he knows it.

I’m lightheaded as we sign our names in the huge, ancient book, right below Jacob and Quinn. Eve and Gabriel’s signatures sit above them, and hundreds more before that. Thousands, maybe. I hadn’t appreciated the age of the Brotherhood before, but seeing those lists of names pulls it into sharp relief .

The feeling as I sign is unlike anything else I’ve ever known. Weight and freedom tangled together. I might be captive in this place, but I’m finally free to be my true self.

Sebastian wraps his arms around me, tucking me tight against his chest. I look up at his battered face. The bruises have hit the purple stage, and his face is a mass of painful color. He still glows with happiness, and I can’t blame him. He thought he’d die for me today, but I chose life for us both.

He kisses my forehead, and I close my eyes. He feels like home.

***

The next morning, I hold Sebastian’s hand as the Brotherhood’s military descend on my family home. We watch it all, in scattered bits and pieces through soldiers’ bodycams, as Jacob snaps orders to the men. Kendrick didn’t let him go in person, but they compromised on him supervising remotely. Weird, for a scientist, but I’m guessing he’s got an interesting past.

At the same time they attack my house, they strike three other strongholds, none of which I knew existed. Dr. Wade is in Brotherhood custody, and I can’t stop myself feeling guilty about giving him up. He wasn’t exactly nice to me, but he wasn’t an asshole either.

On the other hand, he was friends with my brother, which doesn’t speak well for his character.

He’s already revealed enough information to flush out another of my father’s spies and one loose-lipped council member Sebastian has nicknamed “the poison dwarf” for some weird reason. Jacob thinks he’ll reveal more, given time .

I should feel more emotion than I do when they smash through the front doors of our mansion. It’s not like I have no happy memories. My nanny, Maida, taught me to bake cookies in the kitchen, and Mom and I had fun until she got sick.

Everything is tainted, though. The living room is where I listened as Harrison and his friends described raping some guy’s girlfriend in revenge for whatever he’d done. The dining room is where I cried night after night, staring at my math books, and my dad told me not to worry. He’d set me up with something suitable.

The men round up our staff for questioning and go through each room of the house. What they pull out of Harrison’s office makes me double over, trying not to vomit. His taste for teenage girls hadn’t eased off any as he got older, if the photos and souvenirs in his safe are anything to go by.

Sebastian wraps a comforting arm around me. “You don’t have to watch this.”

But I do. I need to see the ugly truth.

If the house is bad, the strongholds are worse. Despite Eve and Gabriel’s story, I’d still been clinging to the idea that they were wrong about the trafficking or that someone in the organization had gone rogue.

My dad is an asshole, but he’s not that bad. He can’t be.

He can.

After a shootout with some of my family’s guards, the Brotherhood soldiers force their way into a prison. There are women there, filthy and starving in cells. Some of them are so young I have to turn away, and I finally let Sebastian lead me out of the room. Once it’s over, we get the news I didn’t want to hear.

No sign of my father.

Several of his right-hand men have disappeared, too. If I know my father, he weighed the odds and decided to retreat—but it won’t be forever. The Brotherhood has taken both of his children. He’ll want revenge, and he’s a patient man.

For the first time since I arrived, knowing how isolated and secure we are feels comforting rather than oppressive.

I sit on a bench in the weak sunlight with Sebastian, watching the birds fly through the trees at the edge of the woods. Sebastian points out a strange-looking one, tiny and jewel-colored.

“There’s a Brother called James who comes out here every day to feed the birds. If you value your sanity, don’t ever ask him about that bird. I did and got a forty-five-minute lecture. It nearly killed me.”

I laugh and lean my head against his shoulder. The duality of my new situation is still making my head spin. Right now, we’re on our way to Medical, not just to remove Sebastian’s bandage, but to speak to Dr. Richard about starting my training in earnest. Sebastian wants me studying by the end of the week.

But before we left the house, he clipped on my leash.

We watch the birds in peaceful silence, though he keeps rubbing his bandage. His body is all tense lines. He’s scared, and I can’t blame him. Finally, he sighs. “Better get this over with, then.”

Sebastian grips my leash in one hand and my hand in the other. It’s oddly comforting.

Dr. Richard’s expression is grave as Sebastian takes a seat on the examination bed. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up. There’s only a twenty-five-percent chance you’ll see out of this eye again.”

Sebastian flashes the doctor a grin. “I tend to cheat the odds.”

It’s amazing. If I didn’t already know how terrified Sebastian is, I’d never have guessed from his performance here. He’s far too good an actor. I need to learn all his little tells to keep up with him .

“Right, then.” The doctor sticks a patch over Sebastian’s good eye. “Let’s see, shall we?”

I hold Sebastian’s hand as the doctor unravels the bandage. I hiss as the damage is revealed. A thick scar bisects Sebastian’s eye, and I tighten my grip on his hand.

“That bad, hey? Good thing I already own you, or you might have run for the hills.” He tries to keep his tone light, but I can hear the strain.

“No. You were all boring and pretty before. Now you look dangerous, like an assassin. I like it.”

He laughs, but it has a panicky edge. “So, what now, Doc? Do I try to open it?”

“In your own time, yes. It’ll be painful, and don’t expect to see clearly if the eye is still functional. We’re hoping for light and blurry shapes.”

“Wonderful news.”

Sebastian takes a deep breath and winces as his eye opens a crack. He snaps it shut, then tries again, this time getting a little farther. “There’s light!”

I glance at the doctor, who gives me a small smile. “It’s a good sign. Not definitive, but a good sign.”

“There are shapes too. Is that you, pet? Lift your hand for me.”

I do, and his smile lights up my heart. “I saw that! Now take off your top.”

I gasp, and he laughs. “Kidding. I’m kidding. This is good though, right?”

“Yes. Very good, indeed.”

An hour later, Sebastian is set up with an eye patch to allow the eye to rest and recover, and I’m signed up for a basic online anatomy course. The idea of studying still tightens my chest, but I’m excited, too. This time, I’ll have all the support I need. We walk out of Medical hand in hand.

“Hey. How many fingers am I holding up?” I turn to see Quinn, both middle fingers raised in our direction.

Jacob smacks her ass hard enough to make me grab my own in sympathy. “Behave.”

She turns the middle fingers on him. “After what you pulled yesterday? No. This month is going to be as bad for you as it is for me.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that.” Jacob’s voice, low and dangerous, makes her drop her hands.

All Sebastian’s friends have been waiting for us. Gabriel asks, “So…are we celebrating or drowning our sorrows?”

“Celebrating.”

A round of hugs, high-fives, and manly back claps follows. I watch, smiling, until Quinn drags me off to one side. “You are so fucking lucky. I’d have fetched that bone a hundred times above what he did to me. Did you hear? The fucking audacity!”

She chatters on and on, and it makes the day brighter. I don’t just have Sebastian here. I have friends and a life. A weird, fucked-up one, yes. But normal wasn’t really working for me, was it?

For the first time, I’m happy right where I am.