Page 16 of Dead Serious Halloween Special
Before I have a chance to unlock the screen, the door to the bookshop crashes open and everyone turns to look. Even the music suddenly screeches to a halt. Dozens ofburlymen dressed as pirates flood the room, swords raised aloft.
And that’s when the screaming starts.
It’s absolute chaos. The party guests run shrieking in every direction, chased by the pirates. I grab Aidan and pull him protectively behind me, and Chan also moves in close to shield him.
Something catches the corner of my eye and draws my gaze to the doorway. My mouth falls open as an impossibly tall, impossibly broad man strides through.
He’s got to be over seven feet tall, with long, dark, wavy hair and a long, thick black beard. He’s wearing a velvet frock coat and waistcoat over a white shirt, black pantaloons, and leather boots, and a curved sword is sheathed at his waist.
Beside him is a similarly dressed man, slightly shorter but still over six feet tall, thickly muscled arms exposed thanks to the sleeves of his coat and shirt having been ripped away. In his hand he holds, with ease, a small, cylindrical cage and in it is?—
“Is that the Puck guy you were all talking about?” Aidan mutters.
Sure enough, looking very annoyed and quite cramped, is the little naked hobgoblin who’d been guzzling milk in Harrison’s kitchen earlier on in the day.
“Give me the goblin,” the black-bearded man commands, holding out his hand.
“Aye, Cap’n Blackbeard,” says the man, holding the cage up to Blackbeard’s face.
“Which one is it?” He shakes the cage. “Speak, vermin.” He gives the cage another bone-rattling shake.
The one Olivia called Puck glares at him before finally pointing—directly at me.
“Him,” Puck says grudgingly. “He’s the one who opened the Gospodar.”
“Seize him,” Blackbeard bellows.
Before I know what’s happening, one of his men grabs me. I lose my grip on my phone and it clatters to the floor, getting kicked away and lost in the melee as screaming guests run out into the street, pursued by a whole load of thirsty-looking pirates. I’m picked up as if I weigh nothing and slung overtheman’sshoulder. I kick and wriggle and beat my hands against his rock-hard back, but it’s no good. I can’t loosen his grip on me.
“Get off him,” Aidan shouts angrily and steps forward.
“And what do we have here?” Blackbeard’s shrewd gaze falls on Aidan standing beside Chan. “Davy? Is that you, my old friend?”
“Uh.” Aidan glances at Chan, who nods slightly. “Yes.” Aidan stiffens his back. “It is I, Davy Jones. Unhand that man lest ye be cast down to a watery grave in the depths of Davy Jones’ locker! Um… arghhh.” He finishes off with a little growl and aflourishof his clenched fist.
The room is now almost empty.All the party guestshavefled into the night. The remaining few of Blackbeard’s men, those who aren’t out chasing people through the streets, have taken up positions around the room, surrounding Aidan and Chan while I dangle helplessly from a buff pirate’s shoulder.
Blackbeard stares for a long moment before crossing the room, the heels of his boots clicking ominously against the wooden floor, until he comes to a stop in front of Aidan, who is trying his hardest to channel his inner Bill Nighy.
Blackbeard’s eyes narrow and he reaches up, ripping the fake tentacle beard from Aidan’s face and tossing it to the floor. There’s a collective sharp intake of breath from the assembled pirates, as if someone impersonating their beloved Davy Jones is truly sacrilegious.
“Lies!” He roars. “Seize the impostor!”
Aidan is grabbed much the same way I was and thrown over the shoulder of another one of Blackbeard’s men.
And oh my days, that’s a mistake.
Chan goes fucking feral.
I actually stop struggling against my captor, mesmerised as Chan bites and claws and tears out clumps of pirate hair. It’s not every day you get to see several salty-looking sea dogs coweringat the five-foot pint of pure rage in a tight black dress currently clubbing one of their colleagues with a stiletto and shrieking like a harpy toget their fucking hands off his kid.
“Enough!” Blackbeard growls. He raises his fist and, unfurling his fingers, blows against his palm when Hurricane Chan turns in his direction. A cloud of sparkly dust hits Chan full in the face and he stumbles back, shaking his head. He gives a loud sneeze and sways, then his eyes roll back in his head and he crumples to the ground.
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO CHAN!” Aidan screams, and fuck me, he’s as feisty as Chan.
He goes wild. He claws and scratches at the man holding him until he has to have one of his friends help subdue the raging teenager.
“What did you do to him?” I demand, my concerned gaze fixed on the still form of my friend slumped on the floor.