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Ronan

February, 1995…

Today was going to be the best day of thirteen-year-old Ronan O’Mara’s life. The circus was in town. For weeks now, television commercials had been advertising the seven day event. Each one getting Ronan more and more excited for the Grande Promenade, where a heard of elephants would stomp down Causeway Street on their way into the new Boston Garden, which would be their temporary home during February school vacation week.

After seemingly endless days of pestering, Ronan’s mother, Erin, had finally agreed to take her son to the parade, which was how he ended up freezing his tiny ass off at the corner of Canal and Causeway waiting for the elephants. “Mom! Where are they?”

Ronan whined.

“Maybe they’d decided to stay in their warm beds, like we should have done.”

Erin looked as miserable as Ronan felt. Her cheeks were bright pink with the cold. Even wrapped from head to toe in a heavy wool hat, jacket, mittens and boots, Erin O’Mara resembled a frozen fish stick.

Ronan, was a junior fish stick. Why had he thought this was going to be fun? Getting up at the ass crack of dawn like he would on a regular school day, standing in the freezing cold weather, waiting for a bunch of elephants to amble up the street. He had to be out of his mind.

A loud squawk from down the street caught Ronan’s attention. “What was that?”

“Elephants!”

Erin said, as several more trumpeted their arrival.

Ronan felt the ground shake under his feet.

Normally he would have assumed it was the subway’s Green Line roaring past underfoot, but today it was something different.

Today the shaking was caused by the elephants.

His mouth hung wide open when the first huge pachyderm came into sight.

The animal was enormous! It’s massive head swung back and forth as the creature eyed its adoring fans.

She trumpeted again, so loud that Ronan slapped his hands over his ears.

Perched on the elephant’s shoulders was a small girl, who looked to be a few years older than Ronan.

She was dressed in a frilly red gown adorned with feathers and beads.

Her blonde hair hung in waves to the middle of her back. She was the most glamorous person Ronan had ever seen in his life.

The elephant paused in front of him.

It’s trunk swung toward Ronan, sniffing at his feet before moving up his legs.

Ronan laughed when the elephant raised its trunk higher toward his face.

“Hello, beautiful.”

He stroked the elephant, under his mother’s watchful eye.

“Ro, look up.”

Erin whispered.

The girl riding the elephant was leaning down toward him. In her hand was an envelope, which Erin reached up to retrieve. “Thank you!”

Ronan called, as the elephant moved off down the street. When the parade rounded the corner, he turned to his mother. “What is it?”

Erin handed the envelope to Ronan, who ripped it open. It was a postcard with the elephant and the beautiful rider on the front, when he flipped it over, he saw it was an invitation. “Admit two,”

Ronan read. “Come meet the stars of the show. Elephants! Lions! Tigers! Oh, my! Take photos with Ringmaster Sterling Reynolds. Ride a trick pony. Enjoy a meet and greet with the clowns. Facepainting. Games. Food and more!”

Ronan handed the card to Erin. “Can we go, Mom, can we?”

“Sure!”

Erin agreed easily. She hurried Ronan across the street, managing to avoid a massive elephant turd, to the main entrance of the new Boston Garden. They showed the invitation at the door and they were allowed inside.

The lobby of the Garden was festooned with brightly colored balloons. Ronan could smell popcorn and cotton candy. Laughter and loud squeaks from the right caught his attention. Clowns were making balloon animals and telling jokes to the kids waiting in line. There were happy clowns and sad clowns.

One clown in particular caught Ronan’s attention. The bald man must have close to six feet tall. He was dressed in a one piece outfit that was black and white, stripped in some places, polka dotted in others, with large, black pom-pom buttons. His face was painted completely white, while his mouth and eyes were ringed in black. Exaggerated eyebrows were drawn halfway up the clown’s forehead, giving him a permanently sinister look, even when he laughed. The man was twisting long, black and white balloons into what looked like a segmented snake. Ronan absolutely had to have one of those.

“Mom! Can we go see the clowns? I want to meet the black and white one!”

Erin’s grin turned sour. Ronan almost thought she looked afraid, but that couldn’t be, Erin O’Mara wasn’t afraid of anything. She looked as if the last thing she wanted to do was meet clowns. “Okay,”

she agreed sounding apprehensive.

Ronan bolted toward the dwindling line of kids waiting to meet his favorite clown. He knew his mother would catch up to him. He’d hated the scared look on Erin’s face. He promised himself that he’d do the dinner dishes without complaint to thank her for everything she’d done to get him here.

Rocking back on his heels, Ronan heard the clown tell the kid in front of him that his name was Ying Yang. He watched with fascination as the clown blew up two more balloons and deftly twisted them to make a snake. Ying Yand handed the balloon animal to the boy with a dark look. “Watch out it doesn’t bite ya!”

The clown pinched the boy’s left shoulder and laughed loudly, stomping his feet, and honking the bike horn attached to his hip. The boy squealed in response.

It sounded to Ronan like it was a mix of joy and terror. All of a sudden, he wasn’t so keen on meeting Ying Yang. Maybe there was still time to get into another clown’s line. A girl dressed from head to toe in pink was making pink poodle balloon animals for the kids in her line. He was about to step out of line when Ying Yang spoke to him.

“Hey kid! What’s your name?”

The clown eyed Ronan with curiosity.

“Ronan.”

“Ya like snakes, Ronan?”

Ying Yang asked.

“Yeah, they’re wicked cool!”

Now that Ronan was talking to the clown, he felt more relaxed. Erin set her hand on his shoulder, which gave him even more confidence.

“I bet your Ma likes snakes too, huh?”

He waggled his exaggerated eyebrows at Erin and started blowing up balloons for Ronan’s snakes.

Ronan watched fascinated as his balloon animal took shape. As a last touch, the clown added a red sticker to the front of the snake, which looked like a forked tongue. “Here you go, Ronan. Watch out it doesn’t bite ya!”

Ying Yang pinched Ronan like he’d done to the kid who’d been in line ahead of him. Thankfully he’d known it was coming. He laughed with the clown who honked his horn.

“Let’s get away from the clowns, huh, Ro?”

Erin asked.

“Sure, Mom,”

Ronan agreed easily. “Why don’t we get something to eat?”

Erin nodded and smiled at her son. “I think someone else wants to meet you first.”

She angled her chin to indicate Ronan should turn around.

Standing behind Ronan was the girl in red who’d ridden the lead elephant. “Hi! I’m Ronan.”

She was even more beautiful up close. Her hair looked like it was spun from corn silk, while her vibrant blue eyes were ringed in black, making the color pop. Ronan couldn’t help but wonder if eyeliner would do the same for his eyes.

“I’m Celestina. Do you want to meet my special friends?”

Her smile lit up her entire face.

Ronan turned to his mother. He had no idea what special friends Celestina was talking about, they could have been axe murderers. What he knew for certain was that he would follow this girl anywhere, especially if she let him try on her sparkling red feather boa. “Can we?”

“Sure thing!”

Erin agreed easily.

Ronan had a feeling his mother would have agreed to anything, eating fire, juggling with swords, or even being shot out of a cannon, so long as it got her away from the clowns.

“Come with me.”

Celestina held her hand out to Ronan, who quickly took it.

Ronan couldn’t help noticing the angry look on Ying Yang’s face. He looked like he was about to rip Ronan away from the girl. The clown flashed his sharp teeth and took a step toward Ronan before Celestina tugged his hand, jerking his attention back to her.

Together, they cut through the crowds to the back of the lobby which led to the arena floor. Ronan had been this way last year when his grandfather took him to see a Boston Celtics game. They’d been able to pose for pictures under the basketball hoop. He sure hoped the famous parquet floor wasn’t going to be pooped on by the elephants.

Stepping into the arena, Ronan saw that the floor was concrete. All three rings were visible. Brightly festooned horses were running around the furthest ones, while two women in pink costumes shouted out words in a foreign language Ronan didn’t understand. In the middle ring was a group of men staring up at two trapeze artists who swung through the air, hanging upside down by their knees, which were hooked over the bar. One of them let go of the bar she was swinging from. The acrobat flipped through the air and was caught by the second person. “Holy shit!”

Ronan half-shouted. He’d never seen anything like that in his entire life.

“Would you like a trapeze lesson?”

Celestina asked with a grin.

Ronan shook his head. The last thing he wanted was for the girl to think he was a coward, but he wouldn’t swing from the trapeze for love, money, or a brand-new Sega game system. “No thanks.”

He offered a bright smile, hoping it would cover up his fear. He was about to ask to see the horses, when a roar caught him off guard. Near the third ring was a giant cage with a black and white tiger inside. A young man was using a pitchfork to give the big cat a piece of meat, which it tore into instantly. “Wow! Who’s that?”

“Her name is Sheba and she’s my favorite tiger. Let’s go see her. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

Celestina motioned for Ronan to follow her.

The man who’d been feeding the tiger turned when he heard Celestina approaching. He wore a warm look that quickly soured when he saw her holding Ronan’s hand.

“Hey, Hank,”

Celestina waved at the man, who didn’t bother to respond.

When they reached the tiger cage, Ronan couldn’t help but notice how small it was for such a large animal. The cat could turn around and lay flat, but there wasn’t much room left for her to maneuver. “She is the most beautiful animal I’ve ever seen in my life.”

With her bright icy blue eyes, which Ronan noticed matched the shade of Celestina’s, the tiger was magnificent.

Celestina waved to a woman who was dressed in the same red glittery outfit his new friend wore. “That’s my mother, Nava.”

The woman approached carrying something in her arms. Ronan wondered if it was a baby. He couldn’t care less about meeting a child. All he wanted to do was spend time with Sheba. Maybe he’d be able to reach in through the bars and feel her fur.

“Ronan, this is Suri, which means princess.”

Celestina stepped aside as the woman knelt in front of Ronan. In her arms was not a human baby. It was a tiger cub. White and black like her mother, with bright, inquisitive eyes.

Ronan was stunned speechless. A moment later, the woman offered the cat to Ronan, who opened his arms to take the baby. He couldn’t believe he was holding a tiger. The cat swatted at Ronan with its tiny paw. Reaching out with his right hand, Ronan ran his fingers through the kitten’s fur. He couldn’t believe how soft it was.

Erin gasped and pulled out her camera. She began snapping pictures of Ronan cooing to the cat. Kneeling beside Ronan, she reached out to scratch the baby behind it’s ears. “Wow, Ro!”

“I want to run away and join the circus so I can work with the tigers.”

Ronan had always wanted to be a police officer, but now, he wanted to stay here with Celestina and the big cats.

“How about you graduate from high school first?”

Erin laughed as Nava reached for her camera and took a few pictures of mother, son, Celestina, and the tiger.

Ronan rolled his eyes. If Celestina could join the circus, why couldn’t he?

“I need to bring Suri back to her mother.”

Nava reached for the tiger.

The last thing Ronan wanted to do was give the baby back. “Grow up big and strong, okay?”

He gave the tiger one last snuggle and handed her back to Nava. “Thank you so much for letting me meet Suri.”

He followed the progress of Nava as she spoke to the man who’d been feeding Sheba. He shot Ronan an angry look, which almost made Ronan laugh. He didn’t want Celestina to be his girlfriend. He wanted to try on her outfit. Not that he was going to announce that to guy holding the pitchfork.

“You’re welcome.”

Celestina offered Ronan a shy smile. “Are you coming to our performance tonight?”

Ronan nodded. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“I’ll look for you in the crowd. Bye!”

With a little wave, Celestina ran off after her mother.

“This is the best day of my entire life!”

Ronan hugged Erin. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome. How about we get something to eat? I could go for some blue cotton candy.”

Erin’s eyes sparkled at her son.

“Me too.”

Ronan pulled away from his mother and spun around, intent on heading toward the lobby. What he saw nearly stopped his heart. Towering over him was the black and white clown. Gone was his friendly nature. In its place was something between a grimace and a snarl. Ying Yang looked like he wanted to rip Ronan apart.

The clown bent toward Ronan’s ear. “Stay away from my daughter. Touch her again and I’ll cut off your arm and beat you with it before I feed it to the tiger.”

As the clown spoke, Ronan could feel Ying Yang’s sour, fish-smelling breath ghost over his face. It took all his self-control not to throw up all over the clown. He remembered his science teacher, Mr. Fredrickson’s lesson about the fight or flight instinct, but hadn’t believed it was real until this moment. Part of Ronan wanted to punch the clown in the mouth, while the other wanted to run the entire fifteen miles back the safety of his house in Quincy.

“Got it, boy?”

Ying Yang asked.

Ronan nodded. He absolutely got it. “Yup.”

Ying Yang gave him a shove, sending him stumbling into Erin, who looked as scared as Ronan felt. A tiny bit of pee soaked into his briefs. His vision started to grey out. Much more of this and he was going to faint, as if he were some kind of damsel in distress.

The clown bared his teeth again and shuffled off toward the tiger cage.

“Let’s go.”

Erin ushered Ronan toward the lobby.

“Stupid motherfucker,”

Ronan muttered under his breath, sounding just like his grandfather. He knew that was the worst thing he could ever call someone, but in this situation, no other word would do.

“You’re telling me, Ro. I wanted to kick that asshole right in his safe deposit box.”

Erin giggled.

His mother always knew how to make him feel better. Ronan burst out laughing and turned his mind away from the asshole clown and toward all of the junk food he was going to eat. Hot dogs. Popcorn. Cotton candy. Fried dough.

Walking into the lobby, Ronan saw the clowns laughing and making balloon animals for the kids. A shiver slid down his spine. He didn’t see them as light hearted jesters anymore. They were more like nightmares come to life.

One thing was for certain, Ronan did not want to join the circus and he sure as hell never wanted to be up close and personal with another clown as long as he lived.